Dear 27 year old Gina,
You are only 5 years older now, but that may as well be a lifetime. What you know at 27 is absolutely nothing compared to what you will come to know over the next 5 years. If I told you now that in 5 years time you would be opening your own childbirth education business, breastfeeding a 2 year old, and using the words vaginal birth in every other sentence, you would have thought I was crazy. By the way, you’re still working on your pre-law undergrad, which also means you STILL haven’t started law school yet. BUT, you also still have your 4.0 GPA, so, you’ve got that going for you. Well done there!
In 5 years time, you will hardly have any of the same friends. Most of the friends you have now will become completely foreign to you, and you will find it difficult to have a conversation with anyone that does not involve talk of toddlerisms or toilet training. You will have joined a Mom’s Group and loved it.
Yes. You are that person.
Speaking of toilets – let me blow your mind: In a few years, you will be so thrilled by the sight of child-sized poop in a potty that you will photograph it and email it to your (now) husband. Then, you will brag (yes, brag) about it on Facebook (which is the new MySpace – yeah, MySpace is dead… bet you didn’t see that coming!) If resources would allow, you’d probably take out a full page ad in the paper to show off your son’s bowel movements. But, since you can’t afford the full page ad, you’ll just post a blog about it instead. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention – you write a whole blog dedicated to poop and vaginas and lactating mammary glands. Also? Feminism has an entirely different meaning to you now.
Are you terrified yet?
Well don’t be, because your 32 year old self is so much cooler than your 27 year old self. Remember how you thought that playing in a band with Courtney Love might be the most exciting thing that would ever happen to you? You will be wrong. Remember how you thought being featured on British television may be one of the most thrilling things you’d ever experience? That’s small fries compared to what you’ve seen now. And remember how playing on stage in front of thousands of people gave you an intoxicating adrenaline high? Well, that is nothing compared to the Oxytocin rush you will get from having a freshly-squeezed baby placed on your chest; a nearly 10 lb baby, by the way, which just exited your vagina in what will come to be known as one of the single most powerful things you have ever accomplished.
By the way – not to freak you out or anything, but you haven’t played a show in 4 years, and you will probably never play one again.
And unlike all those other events that relied on reporters, or fans, or famous musicians giving you a big break, the event I described above was something that your body did on its own. It created a whole human being, then pushed that human being into the world where your breasts then went on to feed that baby the only food it would need for months. At 27, you may consider yourself a feminist, but you have no concept of just how much power your femininity holds until all of this goes down.
Just in case you’re wondering, because I know you are, your vagina and breasts have escaped this all just fine. In fact, after two children (oh, didn’t I mention, you have TWO of them now!) you don’t even have a single stretch mark on your belly. You do have a cesarean scar though. That’s a long story, suffice to say, your 27 year old self thought elective labor induction was a good idea. Your 32 year old self knows better.
The last 5 years have been good to you. You’re a little wiser and more self-assured now. You are still as painfully insecure as you have always been, but the difference now is that your 32 year old self has the confidence to stand in front of a room full of scientists, surgeons, and experts at the National Institutes of Health and voice her opinion on a topic that your 27 year old self has never even heard of. You’ve also appeared on national television again – this time not for anything music-related – but just for being a feminist parent. I told you that feminism would look different to you!
All of this sounds insane to your 27 year old self, but you won’t have to wait long to see that I’m right. If I could go back and do it over again, I’d do very little differently. I’m pretty pleased with the way things have changed for us. This time, I’d just try to enjoy it all a little more. In fact, that’s probably pretty good advice for my 32 year old self, too.
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This letter-to-self is something many bloggers have been doing over the last month, so of course I had to jump on the bandwagon. What would YOU say to yourself 5 years ago?























Great post! I so related to much of what you said...especially about becoming THAT mom. I remember reading parenting magazines when I was quite pregnant with my first (also a Jonas) 4 years ago. I turned to my husband and said, "I don't want to become like this. Shoot me if I do." Thankfully he hasn't held me to that! I will definitely have to post a letter of my own at my blog www.DefiningMotherhood.com. And I'm going to be sure to add you to our blog roll. Keep up the good work!
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