January 19th, 2010
For You Blue
Last week, we said goodbye to one of our FurChildren, Blue Dog. After much consideration, Hyphenated Husband and I decided that we were no longer the best family for him to be with, so we gave him to a very appreciative disabled family friend.
John and I got Blue Dog from the Anti-Cruelty Society about a month after we started dating. We knew we were going to be together, and we knew we were going to move in together relatively quickly, so we adopted Blue Dog and made him the first extension of our little family.
He is a Border Collie-Black Lab mix, and has a personality that melts everyone’s heart. He’s great with children, so gentle and loving, and everyone who ever met him fawned over him. Blue was in our wedding, as pictured here, and during the entire reception he walked from table to table greeting our guests, as if to say “Hi, I’m Blue Dog, let me give you a snuggle and welcome you to the party.”
But Blue also came with some special challenges. Part of what made him such a lover was his intense separation anxiety. He needed constant attention and constant companionship. Where ever we were, he had to be there as well. I could not leave a room and shut a door between us or he would lose his mind and yelp like his foot was caught in a vice. If left alone behind a door for too long, he’d rip through it. When I bathed, he laid next to the bathtub. When I cooked, he laid under my feet at the stove. I was always on the verge of tripping over him and breaking my neck.
This separation anxiety was so bad, when we first brought him home from the shelter, Blue Dog ruined most of our apartment. After leaving him unattended while we went to work one day, he ate through the couch. We thought we learned our lesson, and put him in a steel crate the next time we went out. Later that evening, John met up with me at a bar, and he says to me
“Why in the world did you shove my entire comforter in the crate with the dog?”
And I say
“Um, I totally did not do that – why would I?”
We go home to find that Blue Dog had chewed his way out of the steel crate just enough to grab John’s comforter off the bed, pull the entire thing into the crate with him, and rip it into little snowflakes. When we walked in, pretty much all we could see was Blue Dog’s eyes peaking out from under this mountain of shredded feathers and fabric.
Blue had many more hilarious feats like that one. After the crates failed, we tried barricading him into the kitchen with a wall of gates. A few days into that experiment John calls me up from work and says
“So, why did you leave Blue in the living room when you left?”
And I respond with
“Um, I totally did not do that! Why would I?”
As it turns out, the dog scaled the barricade – which was upwards of 5 feet high – and climbed through to the other side.
Finally…finally… one day Blue’s anxiety settled, and we no longer had to consistently contain him anywhere. We also got him a plastic crate that he had a little harder time ripping through for those few occasions when we did still need to crate him. Blue came to trust that we wouldn’t abandon him, and he stopped ripping through couches. However, he never really stopped trying to destroy at least ONE thing when we left him alone.
Blue Dog came to love the garbage. Ripping through the garbage became his payback tool any time I had the audacity to take Jonas to school, or run out for a coffee. We always tried to make sure there was NO garbage to destroy before we left the house, but invariably there comes a time when we’re rushing out in a hurry, and one of us forgot to put the garbage outside.
On those days, I would come home to whole house carpeted in trash. And then, I would want to kill me one dog.
It was very difficult coming to the decision to give him away. He was our family, and I’m not the type of person who would usually give up any animal. Before I had children, I was an active supporter of the ASPCA. When I originally decided to pursue a career in law, my dream was to one day work for them. I even interviewed on of their attorneys and wrote about it. Animal welfare means a lot to me, however, it has taken a backseat to the Mother’s Rights that have come to rule my career goals now. The reason for that is, animals have a few high profile nonprofit agencies working for them. Mothers have almost none. At least none that are on par with PETA or the ASPCA. So, this was the reason my focus shifted, but I still love animals just as much as I did pre-baby.
But ultimately, I knew that the reason Blue acted out the way he did was because he had become 3rd fiddle in the house. I have two sons to shower with affection now, and the dog just got lost in the mix. He needed someone who could love him all the time, whose lives weren’t as hectic, and who would be home with him more often.
Thankfully, we found him that very person. A family friend has a disabled cousin who lives with a brother that takes care of him. The man needs a companion, and he doesn’t leave the house enough for Blue Dog’s separation anxiety to cause a problem there. So we decided to let Blue go and live a better life with someone who could devote lots of love, affection, and attention to him, and he could return that favor to his owner. As far as we’ve heard, they’ve taken to each other beautifully, and I’m really very happy that Blue is getting what he needs.
The boys haven’t even asked where the dog is, so all our worries that this would totally traumatize them turned out to be much ado about nothing.
So goodbye Blue Dog. We will miss you, but we are happy you have a better home.
Love, Your First Mom
Click to Leave a Comment
Wow. This sounds somewhat similar to my life’s path. I had been going to school to become a vet (to save all the animals of the world, or so I thought at the time) when I became pregnant with my oldest. Through the cascade of interventions that resulted in my scarred uterus and poor bonding experience with my son, my path began to shift more towards the lesser known VBAC cause. I went from being gung-ho about saving animals to throwing up in my mouth a little every time I heard someone say “I love epidurals!” Ick. I almost throw up a little in my mouth again. I still love animals, and I still especially want to own a house with enough room and land to have plenty of furbabies (I want to be the Michelle Duggar of furbabies). Anyhow, I love when I can relate to other people on more than one topic.
That was a tough decision to make, and I don’t envy being in your shoes. I think you made the right call, though.
[Reply]
I’m sorry that you had to give up Blue Dog, that must have been hard for you. But I’m really glad he’s got a new home where he can get the attention he needs. It’s just not possible for pets to keep the same spot in our homes and our affections when children come along. Luckily, I only have a cat who never really liked me much anyway.
Amber´s last blog ..Feeling Slumpy 
[Reply]
I’m so sorry. It’s sooo hard to give up a pet, even when it’s the better option. I’m glad it’s working out though.
Can you visit?
Heather (qtberryhead)´s last blog ..Not Everyone’s An Addict
[Reply]
He is a beautiful dog. And you and hubby look great in your wedding pic.
Awww….it’s hard to let go of our family pets. We had to leave our cats behind when we moved across the country. My oldest daughter still asks for them from time to time.
It’s great that you found him a loving home.
[Reply]
I’m so sorry you had to give up your doggie! He looks so much like my Veda, who I love to pieces. She had separation problems as puppy (ate a hole in a front door when I was at work once) but has gotten much better at the ripe old age of 18 months : P Since my son was born she has matured a great deal. She was never very affectionate but now she asks for it when she wants it rather than me always having to force it on her- like when I handed the baby off on a lazy sunday last weekend (all of us in bed together), she saw my empty arms and lunged at me. I held her for a long time and pet her and she wagged her tail : P She really does look almost identical to Blue, so this really tugged on my heartstrings.
I very much hope he’s a happy boy.
[Reply]
Listen, I want to hear from you - I really do. And if you're being nice to me, I encourage you to leave eleventy-billion comments. But for realzies - don't be mean to me or anybody else here. I mean seriously, do not make me use the delete button, because I will. Oh, I will.
AvatarsThe avatars that are shown are via Gravatar. If you do not have one associated with your email address it will show a default image, however I suggest you sign up to get one since many blogs use this feature!
Commenting Additions You may use the following mark-up within your comments. I only permit XHTML mark-up at this time. Line breaks are converted automatically.(<em> <del> <strong> <pre> <code> <blockquote>)
