@Amanda, I second the advice given here. A doula is a wonderful person to have on your side during birthing. I couldn't afford one either, but found a wonderful one who was working toward her certification. She gave me her services for free in exchange for me allowing her to assist our birth so that she could continue toward her certification. If you can find a scenario like this, just ask for references from her previous births and talk to women who've had her attend their births and get their impressions of her. Good luck! I know it can be overwhelming so good support is a great place to start.
.-= Leslie´s last blog ..A Tale of Two Births =-.

You'll be happy to hear that my experience in a Northern California hospital was similar to the hospital portion of the ideal birth scenario.

In addition, I was visited by a lactation consultant within hours of her birth and both days I was in the hospital. I could call when I was ready to nurse and a LC nurse would come and observe the entire feeding with me. They did offer giveaways from formula companies, but they were left in a drawer and we were told to either take them or leave them.

Not everyone who went to this hospital had the same experience, but at least I did and that's progress. I just wanted to share my story because there is hope out there. Things can change if we all keep talking about it and pushing for it.
.-= Madeline ´s last blog ..It's a Keeper: Bacon-Wrapped Chicken Salad =-.

Wow. I knew I was upset about how my daughter's birth went, but I didn't really realize how upset until reading that second birth story in the article. I couldn't even get all the way through it. I just started crying. I told my husband I definitely don't want to do things the way we did them the first time around. I'm currently looking for a midwife before we even attempt #2.

Amanda, call your local midwives. See if they can work with you. Many will work on a sliding scale, make reasonable payment plans for you, etc. Most midwives are NOT in it for the money, but to help women and babies. If you really can't get a midwife, find a doula. They can help you avoid unnecessary interventions and help YOU have a baby in a hospital, but still get the birth experience you and your baby deserve! Good luck!

@Amanda - Honestly, one of the best resources for finding the most natural birth friendly providers in your area is ICAN. You should immediately join your local chapter (email list, or in person) and ask them who they recommend. They'll be intensely acquainted with the goings on in your area. ALSO, please consider hiring a doula, even a volunteer one if you can't afford an experienced one. She'll be connected to the resources in your area too, and can help you get the birth experience you want, even in less than ideal situations.

Here's the link to find your local ICAN chapter: http://ican-online.org/chapter/search

Start there, if you have any more trouble, email me and I'll see what else I can find for you. I'm connected nationally to the network of birth activists who may be able to help you find what you're looking for.

I am 24 weeks pregnant with my first child. My insurance does not cover a midwife. What can I do to have a scenario like the first she mentioned in the article?

I feel fairly educated on the topic but it is different actually living it. I feel like I am being pushed around by insurance companies and hospitals. I very much like my doctor and find him supportive, but he will most likely not be the one to deliver my baby since the likelihood he will be on call that night is slim. I have never even considered not breastfeeding and I am concerned that we will have a hard time like so many of my friends - and it seems like most new mothers in the US.

This is very overwhelming and I would appreciate any tips and advice. Thanks!

That was an excellent article thanks for pointing it out! Mothers arguing with other mothers keeps the finger pointing away from where it belongs. We don't have a family friendly society and we should be angry not guilty.
.-= Paige @ Baby Dust Diaries´s last blog ..Diaper Duty Dilemma =-.

Hello! I just discovered feminist breeder and I think it is just what I’ve been looking for!

My first birth was a lot like the second (typical) story, but I ended up with a c-section which was definitely a birth rape sort of deal. We ended up being successful with breastfeeding, but only because 1. I was going to do it no matter what; I got crazy with it even though we had serious issues for something like four months. 2. I had a supportive family and husband and 3. I wasn’t going back to work, so I had the time to really work on it. I don’t think I would have been able to continue breastfeeding if any of those had not been in place. (My son weaned at three and a half)

My second birth was a home VBAC and it was a vision of loveliness. (I swear to god there were unicorns and fairies there) Ten minutes or so after my daughter was born we were in bed nursing. It was SO easy to get going with breastfeeding after that birth my husband and I were in shock for weeks afterward. We kept waiting for the other shoe to drop with breastfeeding misery and it never happened. Smooth sailing all the way. She’s ten months old now.

I’ve really gotten worn out by the “breastfeeding guilt” wars when it’s so obvious that women are undermined by our medical culture and our society at large. There is all this info and “pressure” to breastfeed out there, but no chops to back it up. We really don’t mean it. Bottle feeding by default is the reality.

By the way, the hospital where I had my son? It is a “baby friendly” hospital. I’m glad folks can get VBACs at some hospitals, but the idea of going back to a hospital to give birth made me have a panic attack.

That was a fabulous article. I'm Canadian, but thanks to a couple of friends who had bad experiences with childbirth in the U.S. and have become advocates on these issues, I've been really paranoid about my upcoming hospital birth (I tried to get a midwife, but my province has just started funding them, with the result that demand is through the roof and now you can't get one).

Anyway, I'm finally starting to relax at 35 weeks amid some hopeful signs. I'm with a low-risk maternity clinic who are all GPs, not OBs, and they seem very supportive of natural birth. I signed up with my local hospital's prenatal course, which has been great. The nurse teaching it is really trying to get across the idea that it's best to use non-drug pain management techniques and try to avoid an epidural if you can. Husbands are encouraged to take an active role. When asked about how many baby clothes to bring to the hospital, the nurse said one outfit for going home, since they keep the babies naked most of the time to make skin-to-skin contact easier. The class is also "birth and babies" -- 5 sessions prenatal, 5 sessions postnatal, so you aren't left with this newborn and no advice.

Given that midwifery care is unfortunately still beyond the reach of most women in the short term (something that I hope will change in the long term!), I think this is the model hospitals need to be moving towards. I know Canadian hospitals aren't perfect. I've heard stories from friends of nurses trying to formula feed without asking the mother, or urging a labouring mother to lie down when she didn't want to -- but I think we're moving in the right direction.

So sad, but true. I'm one of the few lucky ones that had an ideal birth. My son was born at a freestanding birth center with a direct entry midwife. My midwife helped me pull my son out of the water (water birth) and onto my chest. From there the only time he left my arms was when my husband held him while I was crawling out of the tub and into bed. My new little family was left to get to know eachother in peace. No whisking the baby off for "tests," no scrubbing the baby down, just skin to skin cuddling and nursing. We clamped and cut the cord 2 hours after he was born and he was weighed right over me in a cloth hammock.

Now I've got a nursing 27 month old who's never had a bottle. :) I wish more women would send the message to hospitals that until they become baby and mama friendly, we'll be taking our money elsewhere!

Gosh, this is one of the most brilliant pieces I've read. I had 2 VERY different birth experiences with my two children. My first, an OB assisted birth with a cascade of interventions, which led to a c-section, which led to me not hold my son for 3 hours, which led to a rough road to breastfeeding. My second, an unmedicated, vaginal birth with a doula and a midwife, where my baby was placed on my chest immediately and has been breastfeeding like a champ ever since. I'm going to go into many more details about this on my blog later, but BRAVO to you and women like Melissa who are speaking out for us. We do deserve better.
.-= Leslie´s last blog ..Opposites =-.

Oh, and just to echo Steph, yes things improved for me with a midwife-attended hospital birth the second time around, but that was mainly because *I* now knew what I wanted and what I was doing (and purposely chose midwifery), I still had to fight with nurses in the special care nursery to nurse my child, and the advice the other mothers in the ard were getting from nurses (not to mention the bottles) was shamefully bad.

DO women in most other countries get that ideal birth? Sadly, I have to say from my experience, the typical Canadian hospital birth is more like the second scenario too :( It was painfully familiar to me. Yes, having an awesome mat leave policy can help fix the issues created at birth (if I'd had to go back to work at 6 weeks after my first child, I can guarantee I would not have succeeded at breastfeeding), but the whole lack of education (including for medical professionals, lack of support, conflicting advice thing was very, very, very true for me and many others I know.

Ugh! I had an experience lie the first one (except at home). I couldn't even bear to read the second story all the way through. What a nightmare.

Someone gave me a copy of Misconceptions before I was pregnant, so I was aware enough to get some great midwives when I did (covered by our great Canadian health insurance). They did all that great stuff: skin-to-skin, breastfeeding support, etc. I've also been on mat leave for a year (lucky enough to have a supportive company as well as be in Canada), and my baby's never touched a drop of formula. I'm not judging - it's a systemic issue not an individual's failure. But I'm sure proud of the way it's gone with my little one.

Going to go read it now. Let's break Huffington Post!
.-= foxy.kate´s last blog ..What’s a little fecal-oral between friends? =-.