I’ve said it before – I love Twilight. I know some of you think that’s lame, and love to criticize the literary value of Stephanie Meyer’s work. Maybe Meyers is no Edgar Allen Poe, but she’s no chump either. I understand that her prose may be in desperate need of an editor, and her characters may be simple and flat, but some people enjoy the atmosphere she creates. It’s like porn without any sex. It’s the erotica of anticipation.
And it’s not like us “Twihards” are all idiots. I enjoy Austen and Woolf just as much as the next smart lady. Lest we not forget that I am a 4.0 gpa pre-law student. I consume and comprehend French, German, and Greek philosophical works the way some people devour the tabloids. But that does not mean that I cannot find joy in a lovely little story. That does not mean I cannot allow myself to become wrapped up in a fictional fantasy world which creates such a passionate and smoldering heat that it could burn a well-placed hole in my pants.
Ever since I finished all the books last Spring, and purchased the Twilight DVD, I’ve been waiting with bated breath for the arrival of New Moon. My husband bought me tickets for opening day the minute they went on sale. November 20th has been a date blinking like a neon sign in my head for 6 weeks.
So last night, donning my I Love Edward T-shirt given to me by a thoughtful friend, my I Love Edward shoulder bag the husband dared me to buy, and my “Twilight Mom” hoodie I recently won from @TwilightTees, I set off to see my movie. I was so excited, I was vibrating on the way there. I haven’t been this giddy over something in – I don’t know – a long time.
And it did not disappoint. From start to finish, the scenery, the story, even the acting (yes, even that) was all perfection. I was worried that Kristen Stewart’s lip biting and lack of emotive response would really ruin this movie for me. Yes, I am aware, she’s a really crappy actress. But she IS Bella. And the sexual tension between she and Edward was palpable. It was unrelenting. I ached for her. I ached for him.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I had a two-hour long orgasm.
Of course the minute the lights went up, my Buzz-Kill Husband peed all over my high. Let me say this; I did not ask him to come with me. When he bought us the tickets to go he made it clear that he wanted to come. I was under the impression that he wanted to see the movie too, but I found out on the way there that he did not. I asked him “So! Are you excited” and he responded with “No, not at all… I’m really not… I do not want to see this movie.” So I respond, “Uh, I wish I’d known that so I could bring someone who’d appreciate it.” I had other friends who would loved to have come. So I asked him to keep all his cynical comments to himself and let me enjoy the film – which he did – until the credits rolled. I say “So! What did you think?!” and he instantly starts in with how ugly he thinks Kristen Stewart is.
Deflate. Crash. Hello 2 Hour Orgasm? Here’s a nice cold bucket of water thrown on you.
I mean Jesus. Is it too much to ask to allow me to enjoy something? Everyone has something, at least one thing, that makes them squeal like a teenager. Whether it be a favorite band, or sports hero, or actor – we all have that one thing that gets us worked up. Twilight, like it or not, is my thing. So why do people have to rain on my parade? Why not just be happy that I’ve found a cheap little thrill that makes me happy – a little utopia amid the stress of diapers and bills and cleaning up dog hair? Am I not allowed to take pleasure in something?
Well, husband realized he was out of line, and came home today with an apology card containing an AMC gift certificate; enough for me to take an appreciative friend to see New Moon again. I’ll be just as excited, maybe more excited, to see it a second time.
I’ll end this post by saying that the numbers are in – New Moon broke the box office records, beating even “The Dark Knight” for largest first day opening in movie history. There aren’t enough Tweens in America to make up those numbers, so clearly I’m not the only adult who loves to lose themselves in this series.
Don’t hate. Maybe it ain’t your thing, but who cares if it’s mine? And if you enjoy the Twilight Saga as much as I do, leave a comment and we can geek out together.
So, yeah, reading this over two years later (there was a linky thing to it from your Baby Wearing review). I am SO a Twihard, and I have a BA in English Lit, post-grad work in Education, and now starting a BSN program which will lead to midwifery eventually. ANYWAY, I get so irritated when people make fun of me for liking the series AND the movies. Those same people are secret fans of The Bachellorette or General Hospital. ;) Also, I actually think Kristen Stewart is very good. She was wonderful in Panic Room and she's done some great indie work. And, as Bella? She's PERFECT, imho. Can't wait for Breaking Dawn #1!!
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