Every year, I mention that we don’t do the Santa thing, and every year, people go ballistic on me as though I came to their home and strangled their dog in front of their children. I can’t quite understand why our family’s decision evokes such a strong response from other people, but boy, they do not pull any punches when letting me know exactly how pissed off they are. Take this person: in reference to my 2010 Santa post that was linked on my facebook page last weekend…
But here’s the best part of that comment — it wasn’t from one of the nameless trolls. That was from my former drummer who I haven’t spoken to in about TEN years. Haven’t heard from her, haven’t seen her around. ZERO contact with this person until she leaves a comment on my public facebook page telling me “FUCK You” because I don’t do Santa with my children. THAT is how angry this makes people. Apparently the fact that we share friends and her husband’s band played at my son’s birthday party doesn’t warrant any sort of respectful dialogue on this issue.
My husband was so disturbed by that random attack, he left a lengthy couple of comments in response, which, if you’re familiar with my page, you know my husband never, eeeeeeever comments there.
But here’s what I don’t understand… Jews don’t do Santa, yet I don’t see people going ape-shit on them about it. In fact, billions of people across the world don’t celebrate Santa or Christmas at all, yet who gives a shit? Nobody.
But if you’re agnostic and can’t tie your Santa-less-ness to a religion, well, then you’re just a sorta-Christian doing a really bad fucking job at celebrating the holiday season… or something like that.
But if you really believe in the holiday spirit — if you really believe this season is about celebrating the magic of a man who does nothing but give — then what in the world would Santa think of your behavior? Doesn’t he have some sort of a naughty list? And wouldn’t swearing at old friends on facebook land you squarely on that list? Or do the rules not apply to you because you believe in him? If you want to tell your kids that Santa only brings presents to the good little girls and boys, then maybe you, as a parent, should stop acting like a total douchewad. I think THAT is a better way to teach your kids to be good people. Maybe try being one yourself.
This is so similar to those people who run around using Jesus as a reason to act like dicks.
In case you hadn’t heard, one of those dudes from that Duck Dynasty show (seriously, how is this a thing?) got caught saying some homophobic, racist, bigoted shit in GQ magazine, all in the name of Jesus.
But Jesus, from all my of my Christian (Baptist AND Jesuit) studies, was NOT a bigot. Jesus was a righteous dude who sacrificed his life standing up for the oppressed. Jesus hung with prostitutes, criminals, outcasts, and the poor. He loved EVERYONE. If he were here, standing in front of Grandpa Duck or whatever the fuck his name is, he’d be setting the record straight on some things. Jesus would explain that he’s a liberal socialist if there ever was one.
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” ~ Matthew 25:40
“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.” ~ Matthew 25:44
And Jesus never had a bad thing to say about homosexuality. Jesus cared only about how you lived your life — your ACTIONS — not the way you were born.
There’s nothing “Christian” about being a bigot. I was Baptized in a church and then made the choice to separate myself from it as an adult, particularly because so many Christians don’t act very Christian-like. If believing in God means I have to say awful shit about Gays and Muslims as the Duck dude did, then I prefer to be godless. Those types of shitty comments are NOT what I believe Jesus would spread if he were here today. But Grandpa Duck seriously tried to compare Nazis to homosexuality and Islam, and as far as I know, did so with a straight face. In this ridiculous interview, he was able to somehow weave the killing of 7 million Jews into his assertion that gays are godless purveyors of “bestiality,” claimed that black people in the south were much happier under Jim Crow, then rounded out his ignorant rant by calling Muslims “terrorists.”
I just. I can’t even.
How about this: If you seriously believe that some invisible man is watching your behavior and rewarding you for being good, or if that’s what you want your KIDS to believe, then maybe you should try, I dunno… BEING GOOD. Eh? Maybe Santa doesn’t bring presents to people who act out their 10-yr old grudges in immature facebook comments. And maybe Jesus isn’t going to welcome you into the kingdom of heaven if you horde your Duck Dynasty cash and use your platform to spit on his other children.
And if your “faiths” and “fantasies” are so fragile that they cannot withstand coming into contact with someone who doesn’t believe exactly what you do, then maybe you don’t even buy what you’re selling.
Now go celebrate the fucking birth of Jesus Christ with your cookie-eating Bearded Chimney Burglar and stop acting like raging ignorant assholes all over the place.
Signed ~ a Thoughtful Athiest Whose Kids Knows She Buys the Presents.