As the #NestleFamily scandal unfolded, you saw twitterers from all over the country weighing in on the debate. Some made it very clear that the problem we have with Nestle is their unethical business practices, just one being their blatant violation of the World Health Organization’s marketing codes for infant formula. In case you’re wondering why that’s a big deal, understand that an estimated 1.3 million children die each year from not being breastfed, especially in developing worlds (but not only in developing worlds – many right here in this country.) A few years back, it was discovered that a Unicef effort to encourage formula feeding in Botswana (as a misguided and fatally flawed attempt to limit the transmission of HIV from mother to baby) resulted in children dying in 20 times the usual numbers. Horrifying results. But even though most of the NestleFamily twitter debaters tried hard to keep this issue from turning into a breast vs. formula debate, others Twitter Debaters insisted that Nestle’s WHO Code violation was a non-issue because “my kid was formula fed and he/she is fine.”
I have a huge problem with this sort of statement. To say any formula fed child is “fine” is to argue that formula is “fine”, ergo “the same as breastmilk” – and that is an outright falsehood. People making these statements think that because their formula fed child isn’t limping around the schoolyard, slurring their ABC’s, then this is evidence that formula is a perfect substitute for breastmilk. You’ll find people like BackPacking Dad on Twitter making jokes like “Formula causes scurvy, leukemia, and libertarianism. Breast-feeding gives babies x-ray vision.” Very thoughtful and helpful, dude. That was funny how he used sarcasm to undermine the real science and evidence we have on the effects of formula feeding. Wow, what a totally smart argument. (See, I can be sarcastic too.) 
First off, breastmilk protects children against unseen enemies like childhood leukemia and type 1 and 2 diabetes. It also protects against asthma, dermatitis, and obesity, just to name a few things. The next intensely important benefit of breastfeeding is that it helps protect mothers against breast cancer, ovarian cancer, Type 2 diabetes, and Post-Partum Depression. No formula in the world can even attempt to offer those kinds of benefits to mothers.
If formula feeding puts women and children at greater risk for short term or long term health issues, then how in the world is that “fine”? It’s not. Stop kidding yourself.
But here is where some people argue that mothers face such pressure to breastfeed that we need to lay off the “Breast is Best” mantra and support whatever choice they make. To that I say “Give Me A Break.” Pressure to breastfeed? Laughable. According to the CDC, in 2008 only 7.2% of American Infants were breastfed exclusively to age 6 months. That’s it. Shocking, isn’t it? 7.2% of infants were fed according to the guidelines set forth by pediatric health experts. So who in the world are these people supposedly pressuring women to breastfeed? I see 10 ads a day for formula on television. ZERO for breastfeeding. I see a new article every week about some woman who was harassed or kicked out of an establishment for breastfeeding her child, and yet not a single woman has ever been kicked out of anywhere for formula feeding. Does Not Happen. You can’t open any parenting magazine without seeing ads for infant formula splashed on every 3rd page. We live in a Formula-Pushing world. In 2008, only 62% of babies in this country were EVER breastfed and only 58% are still getting at least some breastmilk by the time they leave the hospital. Only 20% of children in this country are given breastmilk all the way to 12 months of age, which is the minimum suggested by the American Academy of Pediatrics – (the World Health Organization actually suggests until at least 24 months.) Our breastfeeding rates are dismal, and they speak for themselves. So nobody is going to convince me that women are facing such pressure to breastfeed. If you are facing pressure to breastfeed, either count yourself lucky, or turn 5 degrees in another direction and you’ll find swarms of people waiting to give you free formula and a big pat on the back.
When my 10 lb second son was born, I couldn’t throw a nursing pad without hitting someone who tried to convince me I’d never be able to breastfeed this child. He’s 17 months and I’m still nursing him today, no thanks to most of the people around me. That picture to the right is the stack of formula sitting behind the desk at my own pediatrician’s office. If you go into the office with a breastfeeding struggle, you’re given some formula. It’s like going to an AA meeting and being sent home with a 6-pack of beer, “just in case.” Even my pro-breastfeeding husband got frustrated one night and said “Just give him formula!” (and yes, he nearly lost an eye for that.) If I hadn’t been able to seek out hardcore breastfeeding help on these here internets, or from the few women I know who weren’t afraid to give me that extra push, I’m sure I would have given up on us. And it would have broken my heart. I gave up breastfeeding my first son after 4 weeks because everyone convinced me I’d be so much “happier” if I just started formula feeding. They were WRONG. I was not happier. I was horribly depressed about it, and it certainly was NOT because society made me feel what I did was wrong. Breastfeeding was a huge, painful struggle for Jonas and I, but if I’d had the support to make it through I know I/we would be better off today. The well meaning people around me did nothing but contribute to my failure, and I think it is partly out of ignorance, and partly to make themselves feel better about not breastfeeding their own child.
Why else would parents, knowing all the science and knowing it is a sub-par feeding solution, run around telling everybody else it’s “fine?” I formula fed, yes, I did. But do I sit here pretending that what I did was perfectly the same as breastfeeding? Absolutely not. I would never, ever tell another mother that either. What kind of favor is that?
I’m not saying that formula hasn’t been necessary in some situations, and I’m not saying I would shame another mother for doing what she had to do. I don’t have any problem with a mother who feels like she needs some help from formula, so long as she’s making an informed choice on the matter. But I will not sit idly by and listen to mothers try to drag other mothers and babies down with false information, or even well-meaning misguidance. As Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan famously said “You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts.”
For people who’d try to use their own anecdotes to convince others that their formula-fed kids turned out fine, all I can think is “Okay, we’ll see” OR “Good for you, 1.3 million other kids this year weren’t so lucky.”
Breast IS Best – and no amount of tip-toeing around the subject is going to make that fact go away. So I’m not going to tip-toe. And if you don’t like it, I’ll give you the address for my pediatrician’s office where you get all the free infant formula you can carry. You will have no trouble at all finding formula-feeding support. Look around you. 93% of the babies around you are being formula-fed by their mothers.
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Updated to add: After some commentors drew my attention to this article, I would like to change my language to say, no, breast is not just “best”.. breast is in fact the standard, and anything else is simply subpar.
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