It comes down to one basic question – Is whatever I’m doing worth my child’s life?
Bad things happen all the time and in the blink of eye, how can you possibly predict which second catastrophe will strike? A majority of the time, probably nothing will happen. But do you really want to take the chance that this is the moment something is going to go horribly wrong? Is it worth losing your child forever?

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I don’t find it acceptable on a couple levels, 1) Out in public or in a busy public place. 2) If the car is running and 3) summer months.

I often leave one child in the car for a whole 60 seconds to get the other to the front door of our house from the driveway because we live on a very busy road. Or I will leave them in the car when I am pumping gas and they are on the outside of the car. But that is it.

I refuse to even go inside the gas station to pay for gas if they are in the car. It is illegal, and it is scary!
Danielle´s last blog ..Go Eat Your Lunch in a Public Bathroom!

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My general rule of thumb is that if I can see them, I’ll leave them in the car. If I’m going into a building other than my house, I’ll take them with. If I’m at home and they have fallen asleep in the car, I’ll park in the garage, then I take one in, and then come out and take the other. As far as your school situation goes, I’d be the parent who does like you did, leave the one in the car while walking the other to the door. I don’t see how that could be such a big issue. I mean, when the kids are playing in the yard, they’re a lot of times further away from you than when you leave them in the car. I just think if it’s easy for you to quickly get to them, and they don’t leave your sight, it’s not any more dangerous then letting them do something like run ahead of you at the park.

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I have been told in other online discussions that I am wrong to leave my kids in the car when pumping gas WITH pay at the pump (e.g. if I am standing next to the car the whole time). Call me crazy, I think it would be more dangerous to take them out of the car while I do that…I would be OK with leaving a child in the scenario you describe (are only a few steps away from the car and can see it), while at my son’s old daycare, I couldn’t believe parents left their other kids/babies in the car during drop off because you cannot see your car once you go in the centre door. I actually stayed in MY car watching their child until the returned because I felt weird driving away.

But as an aside, you aren’t “allowed” in your son’s preschool? Or even on the steps? That I would have an issue with…

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Like you, I pumped the gas myself, where I could see the kids, behind the locked doors and windows. Other than that, no I never left babies or kids in the car, until recently. Why? My kids are now 11 and 13. When at our local grocery store or on another local errand, I am okay with leaving one or both of the kids in the locked car if they wish. But only after they learned to use the emergency brake. Otherwise, the kids always come with us. I never liked the idea of leaving a small baby or child in the car for several reasons–they are virutually helpless and strapped in, I know why, where and when, a small child doesn’t, I remember that lonely feeling of being left in a car, a car can still be in an accident parked (if someone hits the car in the parking lot, for instance), and shit happens and I never wanted it to happen while I was seperated from a child and unable to help, etc. (Weather event, emergency, health issue, accident, etc.–I know of one mom who took ill unexpectedly and collapsed in the store–no one would have known she had a child/ren in the car, she was unconcious–that kind of thing, I wanted to avoid.)
Amy Bradstreet´s last blog ..Gone For Good

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I don’t have an issue with leaving my daughter in the car if I am pumping gas. And if I do need to run in, I take her in with me. I will, however leave my daughter in the car if she is with her older sister – if I can see them – and never with the keys in the ignition.

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Here’s the thing. I’m panicky about leaving my kid in the car because I am scatterbrained and live in a very hot climate (Austin, Texas). I’m scared of being that statistic.

However, leaving #2 in the car, in your sight at all times, to walk #1 to the front of a building which you will not be entering is ok, in my opinion.

I might not leave the car running, though. My dad’s car was stolen in Chicago when we were kids. He’d left it running to go into a store for a minute. They found it a week later up on blocks and completely stripped. You won’t lose enough of your heating/cooling in the time it takes you to walk #1 to the door by turning the car off and taking the keys with you.

The other day, I was dropping Ike at the sitter and noticed that one of her neighbors had the car warming up. Two little kids were in there (we’re talking 2-3-4 years old or somewhere thereabouts) and they were jacking around and jumping on the seats and stuff. The guy left them in the car, while it was running, NOT buckled in.

They were playing with the steering column, honking the horn and doing all kinds of stuff. That gearshift was RIGHT THERE and they totally could have put it in gear.

NO way is that OK.

I know plenty of conscientious parents who leave their kids in the car in the driveway while they unload groceries and whatnot.

My friend pulls the van into the garage and opens the doors and lets the littlest finish a car seat nap in the garage. I say go for it. She’s just in the kitchen that’s like 20 feet away with the door open to the garage so she can hear what’s going on.

I think, if you are cautious and mindful, there are times when it’s ok to leave the kids in the car. Those mostly revolve around having the car in plain sight, within a reasonable distance (less than 100 feet, maybe?), or in your garage/driveway with doors/windows appropriately down/up.

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I’m terribly paranoid that if I leave either one or both in the car with keys in while it’s running, the-child/car-stealing-boogyman/child-molester will run out from behind the bushes he was hiding in, jump in the drivers seat and take off with my precious babies. THAT’S how paranoid I am.
This becomes a real pain in the ass when one of them is sleeping. For instance, if I have my 7 month old sleeping in her carseat and stop to pick up her 2 year old brother at our babysitters house, do I wake her to get her out so I can take 30 seconds to pick him up from the doorstep? And, in those cases, when we pull in the garage and one or both are sleeping, truth be told, I leave them sleeping with windows down and the car is off. My kids don’t transfer from carseat to bed without waking. Plus my 2 year old turns into Mr Grumpy and wears a stink-face the rest of the day if I wake him.
Andrea Owen´s last blog ..Choosing an experience: My journey to VBAC

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There have been times when I have left my kids in the truck – never for more than a moment or two, never with the truck still running, and they were never out of my sight. There was definitely a time or two where I thought, “Well, gee, is this the right thing for me to do?” If I questioned leaving them, I didn’t do it. (Though I think it’s more dangerous to have them out of the truck at the gas pump than it is to leave them in, but I always pay at the pump.) Now that my kids are older, it’s easier to unload them and load them back in, so taking them out isn’t a big deal. But I remember the moments of dire frustration when they were much smaller and when the two second trip would have been made that much more complicated wrestling with a car seat or waking a sleeping kid. Am I an awful person for thinking that way because I had kids and therefore I should just have to suck it up and deal with the fact that I had to cart them around regardless of size/age? Maybe. But I know I’m not the only one who’s sat there in the driver’s seat thinking, “You know, this would be easier if…”

I was left in the car all the time as a kid, too. With a self-employed father with errands to run and a mother working full time, there were a lot of cases in which it was simply easier for them to leave us in the car to run inside to pay for something, check the mail, drop off magazines, et al. And I don’t think my parents were awful parents, either. They were great parents. But I think times have changed. People drive faster, look less often, and poorly attempt to multitask while operating a two ton vehicle capable of killing people. So, in today’s world, I think there’s a lot more to take into consideration when looking at a situation like this.
LinLori´s last blog ..Weekend in Photos

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Should have mentioned – her big sister is 11.

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“I’m generally of the opinion that if you feel guilty over something, don’t do it. I think guilt is our own internal meter telling us that we need to consider our actions a bit more carefully. ”

That statement jumped out to me. While I agree that feelings of guilt usually mean that something is not quite right and needs to be done different, I also feel that a lot of guilt might be social groups putting their agenda out there. Women in general (and women with children especially) get a lot of shit piled at their feet that has nothing to do with reality.

I don’t NEED to feel guilty about making love with my husband without the intent of making a baby — but the Catholic teachings and my upbringing say I should. I don’t need to feel guilty about having interests outside of my family or about having a career, but there’s a large population of people who say that I am a horrible woman for wanting either of those things.

Guilt is like fear — it’s usually useful but to pay heed to it indiscriminately results in paralysis and life that is very circumscribed.

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@Michelle Bell – I get what you’re saying, but the Catholics could never make me feel guilty about anything because I don’t believe in what they’re saying. That’s the difference, I think. There are a lot of nutty things said by a lot of nutty people, but if it’s ridiculous, I rarely pay it a second though. If it’s something worth considering, then I think my conscience compels me to consider it.

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I left my baby in the car to run up and drop an envelope off in a door slot. There was no one else in the parking lot and the car was in plain view for the really short distance, but I felt a little weird about it and don’t think I would do it again.

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Back in the era when our parents were leaving us in cars – which mine did all of the time (as if my mom wanted to haul 4 kids around to every little place she wanted to run into) – my hubby and his little brother were almost abducted from their car in the parking lot where they were left for a few minutes while his parents ran into the store. He was 4 and his brother 3. Some man walked up and asked him for help fixing the stereo in his car (seriously he asked a 4 and 3 year old to help him) – hubby knew better and immediately started leaning on the car horn and screaming and the guy took off.

Lets just say that we would never consider leaving our kids alone in the car – at least not until they are legally old enough to be left alone anywhere – just because you and I lived through it and weren’t abducted or in an accident doesn’t mean it won’t or doesn’t happen. I am quite content being paranoid – for hubby it isn’t just paranoia but personal experience.
Jes´s last blog ..Copper Rings Lariat

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I leave my baby in the car in my driveway any time that it is her normal naptime and she is asleep. I leave the AC running or open all the doors and do some yardwork or bring my laptop or a book onto the porch while she sleeps. She’s been in the car that way for upwards of 2 hours.

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I would never leave a child in a RUNNING vehicle. An aquaintance of mine recently left her 3 year old alone in her truck momentarily, he got out of his carseat and accidentall put the truck in neutral and the truck rolled a long way while my friend ran after it and jumped in at the last minute and stopped it just before it fell into a ravine! Too many things can happen, there are also too many horrible people in the world today who could grab your car or your baby while you’re in 7-11 even if you can see the car how can you stop it from happening if you’re 15 feet away? I wouldn’t risk it.

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I think it’s dependent on maturity, weather, and location. Would I leave my 2 month old (or even 2 year old) alone in a car. No way! Will I leave my 8 year old locked in the car while I run into a gas station? If the car is in view, then probably.
Jen´s last blog ..Back to the Drawing Board

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I think as parents we have to use our best judgment, but recognize that sometimes the best of judgment can still lead to horrible outcomes. As awful as that is, it is just the way it is. My mom was super over protective & I had to check in with her every half hour when I was at my friends’ houses, yet I was regularly left in our car while she ran into a grocery store or other short but not within eyesight stops- I’d guess I was about 6 when that started.
When my older two were about 7 and 3 I left them in a locked running car (so the ac would stay on), I took the door key with me & left the ignition key in. The younger one had fallen asleep, she was in a car seat, I set the emergency brake and my doberman was in the car too. They were out of my line of sight for less than 5 minutes, but a police officer ticketing illegally parked cars saw them & was waiting at my car when I came out. I think the fact that my older one was refusing to open the door even to him (in uniform) was what stopped him from calling social services. There is slightly more to the story, but I’ve babbled enough already. My point is just that I still don’t feel I made a bad decision, I never did anything like it again recognizing that it could have ended much differently.

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People need to give other people a freaking break! I am the mother of a dead baby and I still would not even think of taking a cozy child out of a warm car for a 30 second, 15 foot trip to the front door – when I can still see the car! IMHO that is just another ingredient in the recipe called “Let’s make life as miserably complicated as we possibly can.” Maybe it is because I’m from small town far Northern Minnesota, where I feel both safe and cold most of the time, but…..ya…..not even on my radar in the scenario you describe.

I have and will continue to leave my kids in the car when I have to go in to pay for gas (the only instance it ever comes up in my life). When I can not pay at the pump, I move my car up to the front door (right where it says “no parking”), lock it, run in, throw the money on the counter, yell “keep the change”, and run out. I don’t feel like the worst mother in the world for doing it. I feel like I’m doing what we all have to do every day – balancing risks and doing the best I can.

Terrible – really, really terrible things can and do happen every day. Living in babylost world has taught me that they happen to free-spirited parents, to control-everything-never-let-them-out-of-your-sight parents, to do-the-best-I-can-parents…. bad things can happen to anyone and hyper-vigilance seems to spare few. (My baby died due to a cord knot btw – nothing to do with being the lazy irresponsible mother some of you undoubtedly think I am.)

That’s what I think.

Oh, and one more thing…. the next time you (anyone reading this) are out in the world and you see a parent clearly struggling to do what she needs to do while keeping everyone safe – and maybe doing something you think is putting her child in danger – instead of judging her critically, or hanging around to protect her kid from her irresponsibility – walk up to her WITH A SMILE – a sincere one – and say “it looks like you could use a hand – how can I help.” This critical holier than thou attitude has got to stop or we are going to eat each other alive. Stop judging – start helping!

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Wow! Mother … I am very sorry for your loss.

I don’t think I read anything particularly judgmental being posted. I believe we are all talking about our own personal experiences/practices here. Just because my husband and I choose not to leave our kids in the car does not mean we judge parents who do. We all do the best we can.
Jes´s last blog ..Copper Rings Lariat

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Wow, good topic.

I have never been to a gas station in my city that did not have pay at the pump, in fact it is a requirement here to prepay gas. I always take my keys with me in my pocket but I leave my son (2.5 yrs) in the car while I pump gas and pay. If for some reason I can’t pay at the pump (machine broken or whatever) I always bring him inside with me to pay. This comes more from me worrying that someone with take him or the car with him in it, then it does from any other concern.

I park right next to my front door (less than 5 feet) and I always leave my son in the carseat until I get the door unlocked and I get everything into the house (just inside the door) – unless it is cold I leave my son’s door open while I do this and we chat. This is preferred to him wandering down the street or down the wooded hill behind our house while I am preoccupied.

On the other hand, he fell asleep in the car when he and I were headed to pick up dinner one night and even though he was royally pissed, I woke him up and took him into the restaurant to pick up our dinner rather than leave him in the car. And trust me, leaving him in the car would have been a lot easier than carrying a crying 2 yr old into a nice restaurant – pay for food (still carrying crying child) and then carry the crying child and two large bags of take out back to the car…all without dropping any of it!

I think reasonable judgement is in order in these situations.

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“However, when I talked about this on Facebook, I did have one mother imply that I’m asking for my son’s certain death by doing this. Some other parents mentioned that there are laws in most states that prohibit a child of a certain age being left in a car for any amount of time whatsoever.”

“Is it worth losing your child forever?”

“I have been told in other online discussions that I am wrong to leave my kids in the car when pumping gas WITH pay at the pump (e.g. if I am standing next to the car the whole time)”

“I couldn’t believe parents left their other kids/babies in the car during drop off because you cannot see your car once you go in the centre door. I actually stayed in MY car watching their child until the returned because I felt weird driving away.”

“The other day, I was dropping Ike at the sitter and noticed that one of her neighbors had the car warming up. Two little kids were in there (we’re talking 2–3-4 years old or somewhere thereabouts) and they were jacking around and jumping on the seats and stuff. The guy left them in the car, while it was running, NOT buckled in…..

NO way is that OK.”

“I would never leave a child in a RUNNING vehicle.”

All quotes from this discussion that struck me as judgmental/critical/I’m a better parent because…

I’ve been in situations where I am struggling to make it all happen and people who should know better choose to make the situation worse instead of better with there critical comments. We’ve all been there, right? Or you are in public and things are falling apart, and you get those looks – those ugly disgusted looks. Those “why are some people allowed to breed” looks. That, I believe, is the source of the guilt – the feeling that someone is always watching – never lending a hand – just watching and deciding we don’t measure up. I really try to smile kindly at people who are in a rough place with their kids in public. That is what I would like to offer to the discussion.

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I am definitely one that pumps gas with my son in the car and would be right there with you taking him to the door while the baby slept warmly. I realize that anything can happen, to anyone, anywhere. I just think that we have to balance our risks. So for me, those are ok, but I would NEVER remove my child from a car seat while the car is moving, under any circumstance (I know many that would).

Mother- I think you make a WONDERFUL point about offering to assist instead of being judgemental. The world would be such a happier and easier place to live if we all had that mentality!!
Crystal Gold´s last blog ..Con Artists of the Heart

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Another broad question (in an effort to expand the dialogue.) If a boogyman is willing to hop into the fenced lot and steal my child out of his seat with 8-10 parents standing right there watching from 20-30 feet away, wouldn’t he be just as likely (or more willing) to steal my children as I’m walking them to the door? In fact, aren’t I making it easier/faster for him to steal my kids by unstrapping my child from his car seat? Food for thought.

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@Mother – I agree we all need to help each other out more. It really does take a village. I do think that many mothers here have felt judged, but we’re all just doing the best we can. We each have our own threshold for what we feel is okay or not, and it’s okay to talk about it.

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I leave my son in the car if I’m pumping gas and the pay machine is only a couple feet away. If the machine makes me turn my back to the car I’m slightly nervous. On the other hand, my mom left me and my sisters in the car all the time. Every time she had to make a quick run to the store we were left in the car. And we lived in the ghetto.

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The tiny gas station closest to my house doesn’t have pay at the pump. 99% of the time I drive into town for the one that does but on 2 occasions I have locked the baby in the car to run in and hand my credit card to the attendant. Both times were in the winter, when there was no chance of the baby overheating, and both times I was the only car there. Oh, and once I left him in the (running) car when I ran into a friend’s house to grab something off the counter because he was asleep. I would never, EVER leave him if I was going to be out of the car for more than 30 seconds.

I think it boils down to the fact that sure, bad things happen, but I don’t think there’s more of a chance of something bad happening to a baby in a safe, locked, non-moving car than in my arms while I dodge idiot drivers in a parking lot.

But I am admittedly the kind of mom who lets her kid eat dirt and run around barefoot at the park. So there’s that.

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“@TheFeministBreeder — I agree we all need to help each other out more. It really does take a village. I do think that many mothers here have felt judged, but we’re all just doing the best we can. We each have our own threshold for what we feel is okay or not, and it’s okay to talk about it.”

Absolutely a conversation along the lines of “I don’t feel comfortable leaving my child in the car because…..” or “I feel comfortable leaving my child in the car when….” – serves as a helpful exchange of ideas. Most of the comments here do just that.

A conversation that devolves into this is what I think and I can’t believe x,y, and z parents do what they do – well I guess I really don’t find that very productive – or helpful.

Really I think I have been spending too much time in mommy blogosphere. My thoughts extend to that entire corner of the universe where there seems to be more dragging down than building up. It is a reflection of what’s going on in the real world though, and that really saddens me.

Moms can really be hard on each other. Sometimes it seems in this hyper-critical atmosphere we have to pretend to be more perfect than we are. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a place somewhere in the world where you could say “I really love my kids, but I’m struggling with “x” problem – without worrying about any raised eyebrows? I really am tired of raised eyebrows. :0)

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My mom left us in the car all the time if she was just running a quick errand into the drug store or whatever. But we were so bad, nobody would have wanted to kidnap us. When we got bored we’d start honking the horn, constantly. Or fighting and screaming at each other.

On one memorable occasion, a drunk driver rear-ended my mom (we were on a bottle drive, and my mom’s car was parked at the curb, drunk was driving in the parking lane). We were left in the car while my mom and the drunk had to go sit in the police car to give their reports. My brother and I convinced our younger brother that Mom was going to jail – that’s why she was in the back of the police car. She could see him looking out the back window, bawling, the whole time she was in the cop car.

So I guess the moral of the story is, if your kids are bad, it’s probably safe to leave them in the car (kidding, kidding!).

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There have been a few times when I have left my daughter in the car. There are only two incidents I felt guilty about, 1 I left her sleeping in the car at the bank so I could pull money out at the ATM I was literally only 7-10 feet from her and she was in a cofortable temperature. I didn’t want to wake her, and I was only gone for not even a minute. However in tht one minute, another mother with her 2 babies walked out of the bank and upon passing my car loudly said. “Oh my word! Whose baby is this?!?!” When I said she was mine, she gave me that judgmental mother look… I will never get that look out of my head. I now bring my child with me to the ATM if the bank does not have a drive up.

The other time, it was a similar situation she’d JUST fallen asleep and I needed to go in and pay for gas… so I did and left her in the car. I didn’t have any judgmental looks from any other mothers this day, but I did have one from myself. Now if there is no pay at the pump I chose a different gas station or take my daughter in with me. On a side note at the gas station, I NEVER pump gas holding my daughter, I feel it’s a bit dangerous because of the fumes and just.. it’s gas!

The times that I do not feel guilty about is when I leave my daughter in the car (only if the temperature is not too hot or cold) in our locked garage to take groceries in, or to grab something I forgot in the house when getting ready to leave.

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I know that many have mentioned about how “times have changed” and I really don’t think that times have changed rather than our perception of how “bad” things are. If you are over the age of 25, you were probably left in the car as a child. I remember being left in the car with my 2 brothers while my mom was at the market. Was that a good idea? Probably not, but I also can see why she would have done that. I don’t think that crime statistics or mortality statistics have increased since we were kids, but I could be wrong.

To answer the question:
I’ve left my kids in the car to run back in the house to grab something (car in the garage, not on, etc.)
I’ve left them to run to the dry cleaners to pick up laundry. We don’t have any drive through dry cleaners and the cleaners are usually closed by the time husband gets home so it falls on me. I pull up out front (in the illegal fire lane to boot,) hop out run in and I swear to you, I am looking over my shoulder the whole time… not because I am worried about the car (I turn it off and I have the keys) but because I am afraid someone’s going to peer into my tinted windows, see the 3 year old and 8 month old and call the cops!
I’ve once left them in the car to run in to pay for gas because I forgot my card and only had cash and again, turned car off and was freaking the whole time about getting “caught.”

When I make the decision of in the car or out I, to be honest, weigh the pros and cons and that’s all you can do as a parent. Gina, I’d be the one with you leaving little sibling in the car to walk big sibling to preschool door. One other factor for us is that we don’t use those infant car carrier/ pumpkin seat thingies so taking little sis out means, unstrapping, and getting her into a carrier. (We have a convertible seat- Britax Marathon- for my car seat mommies!)To one mother, it is worth it to take kid(s) into the station to pay for fuel, sleeping or not; while to another it’s not. Believe me there are times I wish I knew the person coming out of the gas station or dry cleaner or market so I could ask them if they would mind standing by my car for the few minutes to finish the task. But that’s where MOTHER was talking about taking a village.
Karianna´s last blog ..Identity Crisis

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(TOTALLY OFF TOPIC HERE, delete if needed/ wanted, Gina!)
@MichelleBell:
Not to hijack, but it really is not the intentions of the Catholic Church to make you feel guilty about sex w/o procreation. The Church does not expect that every union should make a child but that the couple is open to a child being made. (after all, if you look at it, there is a fine window of opportunity for a baby to be made.) DH and I have been using Natural Family Planning for about 4 years and we only have 2 kids… almost 3 and 8 months and we’ve DTD more than 2 times in those 4 years.
Karianna´s last blog ..Identity Crisis

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Funny Story:

A few years ago, my sister, mom and I were all in the car together, and my sister starting telling a story about a vivid dream she remembered from her childhood.

She said she was in the “brown van” with me and we were parked at the White Hen. Mom had gone inside, and then suddenly we were rolling away in the van.

I jumped in and said, “No, that was my dream, you must just remember me telling you about it”. Then my mom said, “Neither of you had that dream – THAT REALLY HAPPENED!”

We were probably around 6 and 7. We must have been playing around and knocked the gear shift into neutral. The parking lot was kinda sloped, so that’s why we rolled. My mom was at the checkout counter and came running out and stopped the van from rolling into traffic with Mommy adrenaline strength.

As for me, I will pump gas, put only pay at the pump with kids in the car. I will return a movie or library book to an outside drop box. But anything that involves going inside, I drag all 3 of my littles out with me.

I think I would do the same thing you did with the preschool situation, but I’d probably turn the car off and take the keys with me. But you know your neighborhood

FYI – Under Illinois law, parents who leave their children unattended and out of their view can face child endangerment charges that carry a penalty of up to a year in jail and a $2,500 fine.

The law applies to children 6 and younger who are left inside a car for 10 minutes or more – whether the engine is running or not – without someone at least 14 being with them or within eyesight.

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@Meghan – thank you SO MUCH for giving me the IL law! I couldn’t figure out where to find that. So, what I’ve done with Julesy is technically not illegal. That’s good to know – not that it will necessarily change anything, its just good to know I’m not a criminal
TheFeministBreeder´s last blog ..On Leaving Kids in Cars…

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@TFB, Re: Topic about leaving them in the car vs. getting them out for Boogyman to steal them.
I was thinking more along the lines of a car jacking. I was told by a friend/policeman, when putting groceries in the car in the parking lot, put your kids in very last. If some crazy boogyman/meth addict wants your car, let him have it with your groceries, but less chance of having your kids strapped in.
Just that conversation scared the holy shit out of me. Guess how often I think of that happening now EVERY time I’m loading groceries in the car? Yep, every time. I can’t imagine standing there outside of my car, loading groceries in the trunk, two babies in the car belted in and some crackhead comes at me with a gun demanding the keys. *Shudder*. I was told to throw the keys, when he turns to look kick him in the balls, etc. It’s crazy that we have to think of these things.
Andrea Owen´s last blog ..Choosing an experience: My journey to VBAC

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I don’t think I’d ever go in a store and leave my little one, but, Gina, in your scenario I think I’d totally go up to the preschool with the baby in view for a second. I don’t know if my mom ever left me when I was itty bitty but I do remember staying in the car when I was elementary school-ish age. Usually it would be a choice if we wanted to tag along or chill out in the car.

I guess I tend to be of the less paranoid variety. As far as I know, the data indicates that we need to be more afraid of friends and family harming a child than of a stranger. My little man has been through a lot medically, so I guess while safety is important, I’m way more worried about his disease getting him than I am about a random tragedy.
Jenna´s last blog ..Crunch crunch..

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@Meghan – love that funny story!

As far as the kids in the car issue: yes, my mother left us in the car on occasion and I don’t think she was a bad mother. I don’t tend to leave my 2 1/2 year old and my 17 month old in the car alone, but like most people who have posted, when one is sleeping I let him sleep and stay nearby.

I’m with @Mother. We’re all just trying to get it done the best way we know how. There are always going to be risks and things we can’t control, and all we can do is think before we act and then do the things that make the most sense to us as individuals. And yeah – let’s help each other out!

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I feel okay leaving my kids in our locked, dark glassed vehicle while I pump gas, pick up a pizza, return a library book, pop by a bank machine, etc. Basically anything that requires me being gone 2 mins or less. I just choose not to be paranoid about. The chances of anything happening are very slim and we also live in a small town. I’ve let my kids nap in the car while I was in my house too but again we live practically in the boonies so I’ve never worried about it. Once we love into the city (still very small compared to Chicago) I will be less comfortable than I am now, but since I’m already a huge worry wart, I have to choose to not be so afraid, otherwise it will just rule my life.
Melodie´s last blog ..Missing: Long Lost Love

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@Erin

I think your first “guilty story” is a great example of when guilt ISN’T a good guide in our actions. From what I can tell, you didn’t find anything wrong with the way you left your child in your car (and I can’t either, but I’m not the one that matters here); it was only when another parent judged you that you felt guilt.

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As long as I can see them, I leave them in the car (with the engine off and the doors locked) for quick things like grabbing milk at the 7-11. If I can’t get the spot in front of the door, I will drag all 3 of them with me. Now that the older 2 are in school, I try to get my errands done then – so that I only have to drag 1 kid in and out.
Jerseygirl89´s last blog ..Who Says the Art of Writing Letters is Dead?

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This comment from Mother I also definitely agree with: “Oh, and one more thing.… the next time you (anyone reading this) are out in the world and you see a parent clearly struggling to do what she needs to do while keeping everyone safe — and maybe doing something you think is putting her child in danger — instead of judging her critically, or hanging around to protect her kid from her irresponsibility — walk up to her WITH A SMILE — a sincere one — and say “it looks like you could use a hand — how can I help.” This critical holier than thou attitude has got to stop or we are going to eat each other alive. Stop judging — start helping!”

As one of those kids that was frequently left in the car so long that I woke up in the dark and sitting in my own pee (there was that time that a car sped out of the parking lot, shooting a rock into our car window, smashed said window and grazed my forehead-my sister and I had been left in the car) or that other time the man tried to get in the car with us while my mom talked on a pay phone…I moved 24 times by the time I was 12, I have lots of car stories, lol), I opted to take my kids with me if I had to be more than a few steps away from the car. I also think it made things much easier for me to use a sling or wrap instead of dragging the car seat or stroller around.
Amy Bradstreet´s last blog ..Gone For Good

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I leave my kids in the car in my own driveway while I unload groceries and that sort of thing. I have found this is the safest option, because if I let them out they’re running into the street and I’m dropping food everywhere. Keeping them safely buckled in for all of 2 minutes while I trudge food from the trunk to the kitchen is something I’m comfortable with. I have also left sleeping kids in the car in other people’s driveways when I wasn’t going inside the house. Like, say, I was dropping something off or picking something up.

I did once forget my sleeping baby in the car at daycare pickup. I never leave him in the car, since I’m going inside the building and chatting with my older child’s teachers and so on. But on Halloween I was thinking about a whole lot of other stuff and I didn’t realize until I was inside that I’d left him out there. It freaked me out BAD. No harm was done – he was there for 3 minutes on a non-hot and non-cold day, and never woke up. But I was jarred. Not. Fun.

As for your original question, yes, kids did used to get left in cars much more routinely. I remember seeing them in mall parking lots and the like as a kid. My mother never did it, but it seemed to be pretty common practice.
Amber´s last blog ..Women in Tech and Men in Nursing

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Considering the kind of fumes that come off of gasoline, a kid is probably a lot safer in the car while you pump gas than outside of it for any period of time.

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i’ve got 3 kiddos. Ages 3, 2, and a 3mo old. Any time that I have to pump gas and run inside to pay, I’m leaving them in the locked car. No way in heck am I dragging all 3 of them out to make a quick trip in.
I DO keep my eye on the car, and run back as quick as possible. But this is life, and I live in reality. I don’t feel like I’m a bad mother, and I probably won’t leave them in the car for store trips until they’re years older.

Growing up, there were plenty of times I was left in the car. I grew up in texas (south of austin, in san marcos. hello to the austinite up thread!) and it’s hot as hades there in the summer. my parents would leave the ac running and run inside. pretty sure I was older than 6 or 7. I knew to lock the doors and not let ANYBODY in except my parents.
they were certainly wonderful, loving, caring parents at that.
mommymichael´s last blog ..Substance Found in Breast Milk Kills 40 Types of Cancer Cells – Cancer – FOXNews.com

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Very timely post for me — I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because I have faced the dilemma many times since having my second child. My rule is that I will leave them in the car as long as I can see the car the whole time and won’t be gone very long (more than 5 minutes) … and of course the doors are locked and there is a security system such that if anyone tried to get into the car it would honk loudly and repeatedly. Also, many evenings when we get home, I leave the baby in the car for 2 minutes while I take my older son inside. Once or twice I have even peed before going back out to get him from the driveway. Again, the doors are locked, but I can’t see the car while I’m gone. Honestly, I think people have gotten overly paranoid. I don’t feel like a bad parent at all — I think I have balanced the risks appropriately.

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I have a pretty bad memory lately, might be due to the fact that I’ve had 3 kids in 4 years, plus breastfeeding. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve left things in the house and have had to run in to find it. Am I supposed to drag all the kids out of the car, go in and find it… then drag them all back out to the car?
I would think not.
mommymichael´s last blog ..Substance Found in Breast Milk Kills 40 Types of Cancer Cells – Cancer – FOXNews.com

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one more thing that I’d like to add…

THANK YOU! i no longer feel alone…

…i felt weird about leaving kids in car to drop off dry cleaning/ pay for fuel but at least I know that there are more of us out there.

And for you mommies who take the kiddos in and out with them all the time, you rock too!
Karianna´s last blog ..Identity Crisis

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I’ve left my kid in the car to run into a gas station and get something. I leave my car running (it gets hot here), but I have an extra set of keys, so the car is locked as soon as I step out of it. However, if I forget my extra set of keys, I take the little one inside with me.

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My mom definitely left me and my younger brothers in the car while she’d go grocery shopping starting when I was probably 5 or 6. Then again–I was also able to walk myself to second year preschool. (Preschool was in the giant Catholic church across the street and up the block from our house–my mom would watch me cross the street, watch me walk to the end of the block, and then wave goodbye as I rounded the corner to walk the block-long length of the church before going into the preschool door. Small town in Iowa, I guess.)

I’ve left my daughter in the car while I ran in to work to pick up my paycheck if she was asleep (I work in a small retail shop, I park by the door and I can see my car the entire time), if I’m paying for gas (and I park as close to the door as possible) or if I have to run back into the house to get something. I always lock the door with the keys in my hands so I know I won’t lock her in the car on accident, and I know nobody can get in to nab her in those few brief seconds my back is turned. It’s a basic checklist of risk. Is it possible in those few seconds for someone to kidnap her? (No, the door is locked, they’d have to bust in the window and I really don’t see that happening.) Is it possible for her to freeze or overheat? (No, the car is warmer than the air outside in the winter, I’m only gone for one minute max in the summer) Is it possible for someone to steal my car? (No again, I’ve got the keys–I don’t see anyone hot wiring the car in 60 seconds, sorry Nicolas Cage.) I think it’s way more likely for me to be hit by a car in a parking lot while carrying her than for anything to happen to her while she’s sitting in her carseat looking at a book for 60 seconds.

We are not magical creatures. Just because our babes are in our arms doesn’t mean they’re going to be 100% safe from harm.

Like you mentioned, Gina, in most circumstances the distance between me and my daughter in the car is shorter than the distance between us when I’m in the kitchen and she’s playing in her bedroom. I’m totally comfortable with that.

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@Paige – I actually think that Erin’s example isn’t really of guilt, but rather of shame. Society often tries to shame us into doing things, and we can internalize that shame, but it’s very different than the emotion of guilt.

Guilt is what we feel when we think we’ve done something wrong.

Shame is what we feel when OTHER people think we’ve done something wrong.

That’s the difference I see.

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People are needlessly paranoid about a lot of stuff.

Have I ever left my kids in a running car? No.

Have I ever left them in the car, locked and with the emergency break on? Yes. There’s no way I’d take my toddler out of the car in 20 degree weather to drop off my then pre-school aged son. If he’s not safe in a warm, locked car for 60 seconds, we might as well torch the entire world.

Clearly, there is a degree of judgement that we should all exercise. Leaving the kids in the car for a manicure? Probably not a good idea. Leaving kids in an unlocked car with the keys in the ignition in a high-crime or traffic area? Probably not a good idea. Leaving a baby and an active toddler in a car with keys or in neutral, probably not a good idea.

Leaving the kids in the car to put a package in a mailbox? Leaving older children who would rather sit and read in a locked car than walk with you into the pharmacy? WHY is this an ISSUE? Paranoia.

Judgement, it’s a good thing.
Azucar´s last blog ..Things I Don’t Get: The New Nutella Commercials

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I have on a couple of occasions, when I have got both kids (4 and 2) strapped into the car in front of daycare after much cajolong and hysterics, then realized I left their lunchboxes/peed on sheets/artwork or something inside, have run back in to grab the forgotten items while leaving the kids in the car, which was always in my sight. Usually a fellow parent would be outside getting tehir own kids battoned down so I’d ask them to keep an aye.

But generally I don’t leave them in the car.

In the circumstances you describe I would though. You can see the car, it seems ridiculous to get the baby out if you don’t have to.

Mind you, my parents (excellent parents, and schoolteachers to boot) used to leave us (3 kids under the age of 12) in the car in front of the pub on a rainy day (when the pub garden was closed) with a bag of crisps and a fizzy orange and instructions not to touch the handbrake. The good old days!
geekymummy´s last blog ..portrait of the hairdog

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In Illinois you have 9 minutes. Anything past 10 minutes is considered child endangerment, anything under 10 is considered legal. I have left the kids in the car before, but it depends on the conditions and the reason. If I do, it’s usually raining or blisteringly cold, and probably one of them is asleep. Or, whatever I’m about to do will take less than half the time it would take to unbuckle and buckle them.

So, I will run from the PO parking lot to drop an already stamped package in the box or pay for gas if I’ve parked at the pump closest to the door. Sometimes though I leave them in the car to run into school and that I feel less great about b/c I’m gone for a good two minutes. I should stop doing it, it makes me feel like a bad mom. But on the other hand, unstrapping four kids and restrapping three seems horrible. I do really sound like a bad mom

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I remember whiling away spans of time while my mom was in our town’s little grocery. What I can’t remember is how young I was when she did this. I do think it was more the norm years ago. It is tough and I hear you. I felt like a slightly less than bad mom the other day for getting the 12 month old out of the car during a thunderstorm so that we could go together into the Montessori yard to pick up my older. That also means I have to wrangle two toddlers, older’s bag and lunch box, and an umbrella back to the car. It ain’t easy and I could definitely use some help. So, it crosses my mind I guess but the conditions haven’t been right. I have left my kids in the car in the driveway with the doors locked on a cool day while I run back in to get stuff I forgot. Once I even took a piss – if I had tried to bring both kids back inside just so I could relieve my bladder, I would have wet myself because it would have taken so dang long. It was a game day decision and I don’t regret it, nor do I feel like a bad parent.
Heretic Mama´s last blog ..Hola

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I find it sad how much of a “nanny state” we have gotten over things that typically are not harmful…while things that really are harmful get over-looked.

Less than 100 children per year get abducted by strangers. I think the odds that Julesy will get abducted while you run Jonas up to preschool are pretty much slim to none (I actually leave my 18 month old in the van while I run my kindergartner to the front door of the school on the rare occasions that I have to drive him–and the van is actually out of my sight for about 30 seconds while I do this–more if there is a parent talking to the drop off monitor–this isn’t illegal in my state–YET). But if you *dare* mention to the mom who is judging you on this that the straps on the harness of her infant carrier shouldn’t be loose enough to allow another child to be added into it, you get told to mind your own business–never mind that well over 500 children per year are killed in vehicle crashes and many thousand more are injured.

Yes, we “live in a different time” than when we grew up. Childhood abductions are down…but media coverage is up.

Sometime within the last year I saw a 20/20 special marking the 30th anniversary of the case that changed how childhood abductions were covered. The child of a professional photographer in New York City was abducted. Like any parent, he was frantic, wanting to do anything he could to find his son. So he made posters. He had great pictures…they caught the eye of someone at a major network…and that was the beginning of the hysteria. It was the first child abduction other than the Linberg baby to make national media.

I’m a big supporter of “women’s intuition.” But we also need to realize that often our perceptions of what is dangerous is influenced by media more than statistics.

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My children are older than yours, my son is 11 and my daughter is nearly 10, so I have a slightly different perspective on this. I leave them in the car all the time, NOW. Not for great lengths of time, but if I need to run into a small store to get something, they have the choice of waiting in the car for me. Or if I need to go into the house and get something, they wait in the car in the driveway. I take my keys and lock the doors, with windows down if it is hot.

But when they were little, the car had to be within my sight at all times and they would only be left in the car if I was doing something very quickly. It seems ridiculous to me to take my kids out of the car if I’m pumping gas and standing RIGHT next to them. I’m closer to my kids when putting gas in the car than I am while driving it! In the summer (we live in Texas) I’ll roll all the windows down before I turn the car off so they don’t overheat in there while I’m pumping gas. In the winter when it’s “cold” the windows stay up. I always take the keys out of the ignition and put them in my pocket. You just never know.
Jenni´s last blog ..It’s My Party… Or Not

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I have been known to leave one child in her carseat, in our cool garage, while the other goes for an emergency potty break. Now that I can no longer carry both my sleeping children simultaneously (they’re nearly 4), I will carry them into the house sequentially. They’re never there for more than 3 minutes, and always either in our garage, where it’s cool, or where I can see them. Oh, I almost always forget to put something in the car in the morning and have to go back to the house to get it while my kids buckle themselves in.

My kids stay in the car when I pump gas, and I usually leave the door nearest me open and chat with them while I do it. The one time that pay at the pump wasn’t an option, I unbuckled my children and took them in with me.

I would never leave them in the car to run errands or do something that took me out of sight, except at home in our insulated and safe garage.
Sadia´s last blog ..I fed my babies corn syrup

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I am so not a paranoid mom. I was raised by a mother who was oldest of 8 and had a very nonchalant attitude that kids were strong and healthy and as long as you stayed aware and made good decisions you are being a great parent.

That being said I don’t have any “rules” I run with–rather I assess every situation based on the current circumstances. I definitely leave kids in the car while pumping gas and I do if I have to run back into the house. (I also live in a small town known for it’s relative safety).

I completely agree with Mother. I think we need more people who are willing to help each other out! When my oldest was just 8 months old I attended this weekend long women’s symposium and I can’t tell you the relief it was to have the women snark dropped and a genuine sharing of responsibilities. For example, I could be waiting in line for the bathroom and the woman behind me would be chatting and smiling with baby and when it was my turn to go I would turn around and hand her the baby. I came out of the stall with 3 or 4 women cooing around the baby. It was sweet relief.

We can’t do this alone and we would be safer if we stopped focusing on making what mothers do illegal and start campaigns for helping a mother out.
Hillary´s last blog ..flowers13: my brother joined the peace corps RT @flowers13 Goodbyes + Good Deeds http://bit.ly/b9iRzp

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@Mother, everybody judges, it’s how we decide what things we will do and won’t do. It’s not always bad, as there are some bad choices being made out there. So yes it is judgmental of me to say I can’t believe other parents at my son’s daycare would leave their children in the car and go in, unable to see them — because I don’t feel that is safe. It sometimes took me 15-30 minutes to get in and out of the centre with my kid, I would not have left a baby or young child that long — a 10 year old, maybe (and I may be judged for that, so be it). And personally, by keeping my eye on the kid until the parent got back, to me, that is my way of helping (note no police were called, no dirty looks given, no parent reamed out — I get WHY they did it, I just would not have been comfortable doing it myself). You’re right, we can and should offer to help each other out. But I don’t think it’s always that simple — if a stranger offered to watch my kids, I’d say no: because I have no way of knowing if I can trust that person. So instead, I use my judgment: don’t leave them in the car when I don’t feel it’s safe, or leave them when I’m comfortable with it (pumping gas, taking grocery bags from my drive to my door).

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I formulated a much longer response to Mother’s comment in today’s new post: http://thefeministbreeder.com/how-bout-we-all-just-help-each-other-out/

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We should remember time and place as well. There is a HUGE difference between leaving your kid in a car to run something into a dropbox (like a rented DVD) in Chicago vs. doing it in a very small rural town. My kids are 6 and 3, and while I don’t live in a VERY SMALL rural town, and s*** does happen here, it’s much less frequent than in most populated areas. There are places and times that I feel completely safe leaving my kids in my locked car while I do some quick errand, simply based on their maturity levels and my understanding of the area. Other places/times, it feels completely inappropriate. I will admit that some of my friends leave their sleeping babies (alone or with older kids) in their car while completely out of view. Beyond the issue of safety (which I think is a concern in those cases), what if the baby wakes up? I’d feel horrible if my babe woke up and cried for even a few minutes before I came to check on her/him!

BTW, for those of you who are concerned about leaving kids in a running car, the kid’s maturity of course is a concern. But as far as keeping the doors locked, we have a separate key just for unlocking the car doors. So I have my key to open the doors (plus my kids know how to do this as well), and a separate key to keep the car running.

To Helene0811, this line of reasoning is pure emotion and devoid of logic. With this line of reasoning, kids wouldn’t be in cars anyway because there is the danger of having a car accident. It makes more sense to me to consider HOW LIKELY an event is to happen, based on the scenario, rather than automatically jumping to the worst case.

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I didn’t read through ALL the comments but wanted to share another funny story and a little historical view since I also live thru it.
Growing up–> Our old 40′s early 50′s big cars were parked near driveway on a small hill facing down the country farm road in case we needed to pop the clutch if they didn’t start.
One day I’m 3 years old playing in the car and got it out of park, started rolling down the hill, missed the road, headed towards the fields and rapidly gained speed breaking thru the cow fence into the pasture. The kids on the next farm yelled out, ran over, threw the door open to step on the brake and there I was, huddled down on the floor. it’s one of my first memories.
Where was my mom?
On the phone in the house, my brother trying to tell her I was playing “with” the car and she just kept saying “that’s nice, you have to share…”
Born in the 50′s, all 5 of us were frequently if not always left in the car for parental errands. My dad filled cigarette machines in bars and he would sometimes have a few drinks first before returning to us and heading home.
In the 70′s I had left my son in the car for quick errands IF i could see the car from where I was going. We lived in a very small town with hardly any traffic and it seemed more natural to let the child sleep rather than to disturb him.
It was such a different world. By the time my next children were born in the 80′s..I never did it, even with more children.
StorkStories´s last blog ..NIH Conference on VBAC’S ~ Continuing to Spread the Word

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I think your comment about guilt being the red flag that makes you sit up and say, yeeeeah… maybe not, is dead on. I must confess. I have left my sleeping baby in his car seat while I ran back in the house for something I’d forgotten. I’ve done it twice and both times alarmed the car for my 15 second jaunt. And STILL held my breath the entire time. I would do it again if I absolutely have to but as a general rule, I take him out. (pumping gas is another story, I won’t even roll the windows down for that, I’m more afraid of the fumes than leaving him in the car… but I do got to pay-at-the-pump stations…)

And yes, I was left in the car from time to time while my mom went into a store. I was her fourth though, and she was, at that point, a single mom. so by then I think she was desensitized to the type of paranoia that clutches me. She didn’t have the luxury. ha.
Jen´s last blog ..I swear sometimes if it wasn’t attached…

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It’s interesting reading the comments and thinking about my own choices. I use pay at the pump, kids are buckled in the car while I pump, with a window open so we can chat- more so they don’t get bored than for safety. I do run back in the house while they buckle up if I’ve forgotten something.

But I don’t let my kids sleep alone in the car, not even in the garage. And while I’m not sure what I think might happen, this seems to be where my “mommy meter” stops. I’ll generally use the time to drive to Starbucks & treat myself to coffee, or read a book sitting in the car with the kids sleeping.

And yet, I do let my kids “play” in the car. I’ll open all the windows & the side doors of the van, disable the automatic door switches, turn off the car & let the kids play while I weed the garden 15 ft away.

I’m not sure I’ll make any adjustments, but it’s an interesting thread that made me consider some of the choices we’ve made about kids in the car.
Karen´s last blog ..Sky Diving

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I used to ride along with my girlfriend just for the purpose of staying in the car with a sleeping baby or toddler while she did her weekly shopping, and then picked up the older children from school.

An on-line friend of mine has a file with child protective services now, because she left her 11 and 7 year old in the car, while she quickly went into a convenience store, where she was in sight of them the whole time. Someone called the police, who ran her licence plate, and confronted her at home, saying someone had seen the children in the car. Being an honest person, her first response was not to say, “No, that person is mistaken,” or “I’d like to call my lawyer before answering any questions. Now her family has a file that will not be closed until the youngest reaches the age of majority. So whatever you have done in the past, or are in the habit of doing, think about how being reported to child services would effect you, whether you’re leaving your baby asleep in the car in the driveway, while you carry in groceries, or napping in your apartment while you go down to the basement to throw in a load of laundry.

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I think this has sooo much to do with where you live–population and climate. I live in a small town in Idaho. The crimes here are things like minor shoplifting from the drug store and teenaged vandalism at the park.

I leave my kids in the car to drop off mail, videos, library books, even to run into the knit shop when I know exactly what I need–not to browse. These are all places with 2-4 parking spaces each right in front where you can see the car. I wouldn’t do it in a large parking lot, anywhere I couldn’t see the car, or for longer than a couple of minutes.

If I lived in a different sized town or in say, Texas, where temps can be really dangerous in a car, I would have a completely different set of standards about this.

I would never take my kids out of their warm carseats, put on their snowsuit/mittens/hat, to pump gas or run a sibling into preschool/daycare, then drag them back to car, take off snowsuit/mittens/hat and strap them back in again.
Jonah Lisa´s last blog ..Conversations with a 4 year old :: 7

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My dad used to leave us in the car up to 15 minutes at a time. We were bored, but probably never in danger. We were old enough to go into places with him without causing too much extra hassle.

As a parent of two kids still in car seats, I now have a whole new appreciation for drive-thrus. I’ll spend twice as long as it would take to go to a teller to do drive-up banking, especially if the kids happen to fall asleep back there. But I did have a period before they were both walking when I’d have to take them from my door to driveway one at a time if my husband wasn’t home. Even though it was just for a few seconds, I HATED it. I think paranoia is inherent to motherhood. Even now, I’ll occasionally lock them in the car for a minute to run in someplace from which I can (usually) see them, but still with heart pounding. I’m certainly not complacent about it, but agree with the commenter you highlighted that it would be really nice if we lived in a world where more trustworthy observers offered to help rather than judge.
Deb´s last blog ..To my two-year-old girl

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I recently lost a friend over this whole discussion. And it goes back to moms being really horrible over things like this. I trust my kids. I know that statistics and the chance of them getting hurt by a stranger when in a parked and locked car are pretty slim. In fact just driving to the store with them in the first place puts them at higher risk of being damaged somehow!
To this person that made me a bad mother. And she told me as much, and that if she ever saw my kids left alone in a car that she would call the police.
I don’t care if you disagree with me, but no one other than my close family and very closest friends (of which I have only a few) know me well enough to judge my worthiness as a mother. PERIOD.
I also don’t agree with any of the laws. It isn’t up to the government to raise my kids. It is my job. Yes people will do stupid things, and yes children will get hurt, but this is a case of parents making informed choices being punished by those stupid people.
Nichol´s last blog ..How A Doula Helps Women have Better Labor Outcomes

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I have the remote to my car on one key ring & the ignition key on another key ring so that I can park my car at the curb & lock it so I can run DH suits into the cleaners. The car is MAYBE 10 feet away from me running w/ either heat or air depending on time of year so that they aren’t cold or hot. I have a 2.5 yr old & a 9 month old so I feel it is very difficult to get both of them out when the baby isn’t in an infant seat anymore but not walking. It takes a minute to drop the clothes off. I feel bad about it & do worry about the worst ‘WHAT IF’ cases possible. It is hard for me living in So Cal when I grew up in Iowa. My sisters & I were left in the car all the time while mom or dad had to run into the store or gas station quick. The doors were locked & we had to unlock them when they got back. Running to the store to grab just a gallon of milk is such a hassle now for me.

We don’t have drive up tellers at the banks out here so going to the bank doesn’t happen unless there is one in a grocery store & I need to get something from there as well.

I agree w/ one poster who said it shouldn’t be the government who makes the rules about how to raise our kids, it should be the parents. Obviously leaving your child in the car for hours is unforgivable & leaving them in the car while you do things such as hair / nails, etc is IMO ridiculous. I always make sure that I can still see my kids. I guess they are further away from me when I’m home alone & trying to get them both loaded in the car to go somewhere & then realize I forgot the diaper bag or some other such thing & have to run back in the house

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