April 4th, 2009
Pink and Purple Twilight Zone
I’ve made it quite clear that I want a daughter. After today’s “incident” – I wonder if I have any idea what I’m wishing for.
We went to the Husband’s friend’s house for her little girl’s 5th birthday party. She’s adorable, and apparently has quite a big crush on me. Her mom tells me she listens to my CD until it wears holes in her mother’s ears, and she named one of her new baby dolls “Gina” today. It’s sweet. I’ve never done anything particularly fun with her, but I guess she must find something fun about me.
A few hours into the party we were sitting around the table and all the little girls were hanging out in the Birthday Girl’s room, playing Barbies or whatever it is little girls do. All the sudden one of the other little girls, let’s call her Seven Year Old, came out and asked me if I would come into the bedroom with her to help her with something. I was a little flattered that she’d pick me, so I took her hand and followed her into the room.
Just as I got in there with all the girls, Seven Year Old shuts the door hard behind me and locks it. Then she turns to me with all the seriousness of a 25 yr old and says, “You’re going to clean up this room now.”
I laugh a little at the unexpected demand and I say “so, I’m guessing your mommy told you that you have to clean up when you’re done playing, right?” She replies, “Yes, but we’re not going to clean it up, you are,” and she was as serious as a heart attack.
Just then, the pink and purple wall start to close in on me a little, and I say nervously, “No, I’m going back to the table, I think you guys can clean this up.” Seven Year Old says “We locked the door, you’re not going anywhere.”
I notice all four girls start to pile in front of the door in an attempt to barricade me in. I start to wonder if I’m hallucinating. These girls aren’t joking. The Pepto-Bismol walls and floor carpeted in Barbies, coupled with these four-foot-high dictators disguised as princesses, started to make me panic a little.
I say “Well, I can use my phone to call and have somebody let me out,” realizing just then that I actually didn't have my phone with me, which started my heart racing a little. Then, I just go for it, and start to try to pull the door open. Don’t ever underestimate the strength and determination of a group of girls. I got the door open just enough to yell an exasperated “Can somebody help me here??!?!!?”
Seven Year Old’s mom comes running over, and by this time 3 of the girls have ahold of my leg, refusing to let me out the door. I’m struggling to pull free, and SYO’s Mom has to start scolding them all about how they’re going to hurt me and make me fall down.
I finally pull free and run out of the room, embarrassed and discombobulated. What just happened? Did I really just get overtaken by a tiny gaggle of girls? Did they really think I was going to fall for that? Do I look stupid?
I relay the story to the Husband, who is peeing himself laughing… but I’m still a little shaken. It was touch and go there for a minute. And then I wonder… are all little girls just tiny little lunatics in training?
If that’s the case, perhaps I don’t want one after all.
Click to Leave a Comment
I’m glad I have a boy… I have no interest on having a girl
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I have two boys also and I always rethink my want for a girl after going to some little girl’s birthday princess, pink pony, lace and hot pink sequins, more pink, pink eyeshadow, princess underwear, princess bags and shoes etc…..AHHHHHHGH
That girl gang is scary!
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Trust me, little boys aren’t an improvement. I worked at McDonald’s in high school and for reasons completely unknown to me (not because I liked doing it, THAT’S for sure!) I was a very popular choice to do the McDonald’s “Birthday Party Packages” that parents could purchase for their kids. I have lost track of the number of times a group of little 7ish year old boys would try to back me up in the PlayLand area and grope my boobs or butt en masse. (Probably needless to say, but none of the little girls ever did that, even if it was a guy doing their party.) Entitled spoiled brats come in both genders and in herds, they’re horrific. 
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As far as the obsession with you goes, I would blame Miley Cyrus. 
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I have three little girls and I’ve never seen any of them act in any manner resembling your story above. And thank gosh!
I loved having little girls. My oldest girl Rose is like my best friend (except she’s never seen me drunk and we don’t talk about sex). She liked dressing up, but it was never over the top Princess stuff. We would cuddle and watch movies and sing along to every song, things my baby son would never do. He’s too busy grabbing at my boobs and crushing a truck into my head! 
(Not that I’m saying all boys are rough, just mine)
My Olivia was a tomboy until she went to Kindergarten, now she wants her hair done like the other girls and likes dresses (‘But not POOFY ones, Momma, Please’)
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LMAO! Wow–that was a little on the strange side. Funny as hell though! Glad you got out alive!
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Hey Gina -
It’s Kerry from the Spring Sprouts board.
Just had to say… “Seven-year-old” is clearly going to be in charge of her Sorority’s “Hell Week”. Makes you wonder what goes on in her house.
I am excited to finally dig into your blog.
Kerry
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LOL!!! I just don’t even know what to say, this post made me LAUGH though!
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