I’ve made it quite clear that I want a daughter.  After today’s “incident” – I wonder if I have any idea what I’m wishing for.

We went to the Husband’s friend’s house for her little girl’s 5th birthday party.  She’s adorable, and apparently has quite a big crush on me.  Her mom tells me she listens to my CD until it wears holes in her mother’s ears, and she named one of her new baby dolls “Gina” today.  It’s sweet.  I’ve never done anything particularly fun with her, but I guess she must find something fun about me.

A few hours into the party we were sitting around the table and all the little girls were hanging out in the Birthday Girl’s room, playing Barbies or whatever it is little girls do.  All the sudden one of the other little girls, let’s call her Seven Year Old, came out and asked me if I would come into the bedroom with her to help her with something.  I was a little flattered that she’d pick me, so I took her hand and followed her into the room.

Just as I got in there with all the girls, Seven Year Old shuts the door hard behind me and locks it.  Then she turns to me with all the seriousness of a 25 yr old and says, “You’re going to clean up this room now.”

I laugh a little at the unexpected demand and I say “so, I’m guessing your mommy told you that you have to clean up when you’re done playing, right?”  She replies, “Yes, but we’re not going to clean it up, you are,” and she was as serious as a heart attack.

Just then, the pink and purple wall start to close in on me a little, and I say nervously, “No, I’m going back to the table, I think you guys can clean this up.”  Seven Year Old says “We locked the door, you’re not going anywhere.”

I notice all four girls start to pile in front of the door in an attempt to barricade me in.  I start to wonder if I’m hallucinating.  These girls aren’t joking.  The Pepto-Bismol walls and floor carpeted in Barbies, coupled with these four-foot-high dictators disguised as princesses, started to make me panic a little.

I say “Well, I can use my phone to call and have somebody let me out,” realizing just then that I actually didn't have my phone with me, which started my heart racing a little.  Then, I just go for it, and start to try to pull the door open.  Don’t ever underestimate the strength and determination of a group of girls.  I got the door open just enough to yell an exasperated “Can somebody help me here??!?!!?”

Seven Year Old’s mom comes running over, and by this time 3 of the girls have ahold of my leg, refusing to let me out the door.  I’m struggling to pull free, and SYO’s Mom has to start scolding them all about how they’re going to hurt me and make me fall down.

I finally pull free and run out of the room, embarrassed and discombobulated.  What just happened?  Did I really just get overtaken by a tiny gaggle of girls?  Did they really think I was going to fall for that?  Do I look stupid?

I relay the story to the Husband, who is peeing himself laughing… but I’m still a little shaken.  It was touch and go there for a minute.  And then I wonder… are all little girls just tiny little lunatics in training? 

If that’s the case, perhaps I don’t want one after all.