It is really difficult to find a provider who will accept vbac patients without incorporating a lot of fear tactics. I have found that working with homebirth midwives is really helpful. They are often more accepting and many have experience with such cases. Also, they emphasize relaxation and being honest but encouraging to the mother. In my experience, they are much less likely to use coercive tactics.

I left a comment on an old post but I think its too far back for anyone to notice so I'll leave it here... I decided not to have anymore children cos I just couldn't stomach the idea of having my uterus cut open again. My first baby was a planned homebirth that turned to shit and I ended up with a c-section that I think was probably unavoidable but I still have a spot of doubt in the back of my mind. My 2nd I worked SO hard to have a VBAC, I didn't tell anyone when I went into labour, laboured in secret at home til 7cm, then went into hopsital with my very supportive midwife and family support team- declined all pain relief and every standard intervention, but after being fully dilated for 5 hours and a baby's head so high up it couldn't even be touched during VE, it was pretty clear it wasn't a goer. When they sectioned me my uterus had started rupturing and was really difficult to stitch cos the muscle tissue was so friable. Well anyway, I got pregnant again despite our best attempts not to (and my husbands supposed infertility due to a medication for a chronic illness!!) and now I don't know what to do.
Do I try again? is there any point? I'm worried about how my uterus will cope when it was so close to rupture. I doubt I can even fit a head through my pelvis.I love labouring, I love the pain, there's so much I'll miss out on and what if this one will fit....?
I'm fortunate to be in New Zealand where we get free midwifery care with continuity of care, but I know my chances of vaginal birth are pretty scant.
I'm almost considering getting a private obstetrician because my first c-section was such a mess done by 2 barely experienced doctors and I don't want to end up with a torturous healing process all over again. I was very fortunate to have a highly skilled and understanding DR second time round.
I'm a midwife myself but live in a new city so don't know anyone up here so don't know who I can trust!!
I've only ever heard of one successful VBAC following 2 or more sections because people don't generally attempt it. Does anyone else out there have some positive stories for me? I'm not talking about VBAC after elective sections or unneccesary sections, I'm talking about people with such bleak odds as me.
Oh dear God I don't want another c-section!! I'm thinking about going herbal crazy ad trying to induce my self at 36weeks to improve my chances- thats gotta be better for baby and me than a section!

Hey Gina,
I saw that you are considering Hypnobirthing next time around...could I recommend Hypnobabies? It worked for me and was a wonderful program. The differences between the two are very well outlined on this website (the woman is a Hypnobabies instructor):
http://www.birthnaturally.org/hypnobirthing.htm
Check out the Hypnobabies website:
www.hypnobabies.com

I hate that so many of you had such traumatic birth experiences, and I encourage you to join the PTSD After Childbirth group online. I had 2 horrible truly emergency C secs in the 70's in which the paralytic med took but the med to knock me out didn't. It could be that my intended career as a homebirth MD was in part derailed by this ( but I think that had more to do with losing a mother early on when she refused and couldn't be forced to go to the hospital, birth professionals suffer PTSD too I see it alot, that's why they/we pull what I call "stupid human tricks," the brain shuts off when you're in flight or fight mode ). Studies show that roughly 10% of women in the U.S. suffer childbirth related PTSD--and I believe that the figure is at least 3 times higher because we're so acculturated in the west not to acknowledge it and to stigmatize it and to beat ourselves up and deny it. Women are also penalized if they dare speak up about their negative childbirth experiences in this country by abusive Child Protective Services practises and abusive psychiatric practices. Ten to thirty percent PTSD rate is WAY unacceptably high morbidity rate. It's about DAMN time that we start to acknowledge the injuries done by the deplorable care women and their babies recieve in this country. The only way women got better care in the UK and raised some public awareness on this issue was that they were willing to march in masses the streets. That's what we need to do. If a stranger on the street held you down and forced his hands into your vagina, that would be a felony. People who do that in the hospital should likewise be charged with a crime, and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. If a stranger on the street twisted your baby's head around 180 degrees and killed him--after he was born, they'd be in prison for murder, not be "professionally censured." We don't even autopsy all stillbirths and most autopsies on dead newborns do not include a more careful microscopic examination of the spine and brainstem for injuries. Heck, we don't even have all autopsies done by medical examiners in this country! Dr.s and hospitals need to be forced to keep accurate statistics on ALL mortalities and ALL morbidities and those statistics should ALL be available to the general public. It should also be a felony to delete or falsify medical information. I know I'm all over the place but bear with me, you do not cease to be a human being with rights and dignity when you walk into hospital doors, but women and children are not highly valued in our culture, as illustrated by the fact that a high percentage of women experience sexual assault at some point in their lives and one estimate put the rate at which children are sexually assaulted sometime before age 18 at 1/3 or 33%. What's happening to women and babies in birth is part of the overall scenario of a culture that needs overhaul. Sorry to digress. Having said that, I think most Dr.s genuinely want to give good care and are not like Dr. rapist in the one lady's story. "Where strife is there is confusion and every evil work." We must work tirelessly to raise the conciousness of birth professionals and just make them aware that there IS a better way. Even my homebirth midwife-whom I still love and respect--and I as a birth attendant, have been guilty of disempowering women and disrespecting their God given right to fully consensual, adequately informed, evidence-based care. I see very few mere mortals who have not ever stooped to manipulation of other mere mortals. It's a lifelong process of clearing the junk out of our brains that I think most human beings are subject to, it's just that in birth, playing on someone's fears to get them to do what you want can be much more deadly and have such serious lasting consequences. Whew! where was I going with this? I haven't slept-can you tell? I found some of your stories so triggering that I could not read them in whole. Anyway, in response to the first, heartwrenching story in which the author states that her uterus is so damaged from her cesarean that she may not be able to carry another child, I want to say, there IS hope. Get someone to do an ultrasound and possibly a laparascopic exam to see where you really stand with that. Also, I had a reamarkable experience with vitamins. My first two cesareans were less than a year apart with vertical incisions and the scar was not strong we know for certain, as I suffered a partial rupture during a trial of labor before the 2nd Csec. This is the catastrophe all surgeons dread and it did almost take my life and my baby's. I took a brief break from childbearing, had an excellent diet and my next few births were vaginal. Whether the Dr. was stupid or I was stupid to attempt such a thing I don't know, but every thing went perfectly and we were okay. [Please note: I was NOT induced-this might have made the difference!! Induction following cesarean is in my opinion Not safe!] Over the course of the years I had a total of three more Csecs interspersed with vaginal births in between. In each case, my scars went away so completely that I was several times accused of lying about even having HAD a C sec. In 1985 and again in 1996, a medical condition forced me to take high potency vitamins. Both times I developed pain around my old incision site. Both times I went in for an ultrasound to see how my scar was holding up and everything looked fine. We couldn't find any explanation for this despite having consulted several Dr.s and since I was looking to birth vaginally and in 1985 wanted to birth at home, it was very concerning. Finally, both times, I consulted a naturopath. I was then informed that the body has a tendency to heal old injuries--no matter how severe, no matter how old the injury as long as the body has the proper nutrition. The naturopaths also stated that old injuries hurt when this healing process is taking place. The vitamins I take now and the potency I've had success with is Swanson High Potency without iron. I also take vitamin C with bioflavinoids, and a total--read the label and add it up-- a total of 1200IU Natural vitamin E--D Alpha NOT DL Alpha Tocerpherol-read labels. Sometimes I also take fish oil and a green supplement. If you were already pregnant, you'd want to check with a Dr. before starting this regimen. It's probably safe if you will definitely be breastfeeding and will be continuing the supplementation for awhile--taper off, during breastfeeding. The one risk I know about in pregnancy is that the baby may become habituated to high levels of these nutrients and if not tapered off in some way may develop a temporary deficiency if the vitamins are stopped too suddenly. I went on to have 13 VBACs after my 5th cesarean, which has got to be some kind of record, and I had to fight for every one. One big rule of safety I feel is don't get induced. My babies were nice and polite always coming out on or a little before their due dates, so maybe I just got lucky. If you dream of another baby, please go for your dream. God Bless.

Hey, Gina. This quote spoke so eloquently to me:

"You could learn something here. You could help a woman avoid what I’m feeling now. You could be her hero.

Or, you could be the one she loathes the rest of her life when she cries at night about scars on her womb."

This expresses so perfectly my hope that Dr. Ferguson, my former obstetrician Dr. Trillet, and all obstetricans will learn from women that bad outcomes come in all shapes and sizes. Not all of them can be measured with Apgar scores or a positive 6 week post partum checkup. As it's been said eloquently other places, A healthy baby matters, but that isn't all that matters.

I was reading Dr. Ferguson's blog, and found a great many areas in which we agree. On the matter of what constitutes a bad outcome though, we are not in agreement. One labor and delivery nurse had left a comment, and Dr. Ferguson agreed that it was difficult to care for a patient who viewed her OB with distrust. The assumption (and forgive me Dr. Ferguson if I'm mistaken) was that a woman who felt that way had been given misinformation by out of hospital childbirth classes, or natural birth advocates. I left a comment, and I'm going to repost it here, since it seems relevant to this discussion as well.

You know, I feel like I have to comment here. Not every laboring mom who views her obstetrician with hostility and mistrust has had that view implanted in her by out of hospital birth classes or natural birth advocates. There are a great many women, myself included, who feel that way because of the care they received from their previous obstetrician. I will never be able to walk onto a hospital labor and delivery unit again and feel safe. During the course of my labor with my first son I was forcibly held down while my obstetrician inserted an IUPC into me while I was screaming “No! Stop! You’re hurting me!” He then charted that I was “having difficulty with contractions”. He refused to give me any pain medication after that procedure unless I agreed to an epidural, to the point he laughed in my face when I mentioned other alternatives. When I reminded him that I was dilated to only 3 cm and an epidural increases your chance of a c-section if administered before 5 cm he laughed again and said that it wasn’t true, although he did falsify the charting and write that I was dilated to 5 cm when I “requested” an epidural. When the IUPC, predictably, did not function correctly, the labor and delivery nurse spent four hours making phone calls trying to inform him of the fact. When he finally returned her calls, it took him another four hours to arrive to replace it. (The times are written in my medical records.) I was terrified to let him touch me again, but this time the insertion was painless and the catheter functioned correctly. From 3 cm dilation at 11 am to 10 cm dilation at 10 pm a cesarean delivery for failure to progress was mentioned five times. At 10 cm, despite having incredible urges to push, I was told not to push, that I had to “labor down”. At that point the obstetrician told me that the baby had not descended past -1 station and we “had to do” a cesarean section. The sum total of his pre-operative instructions to me were “Honey, you’ve been at this a long time, let’s go down the hall and have a baby.” and “You’re a nurse. You know that any surgery has risks.” No mention was made of the reproductive risks that would follow me the rest of my life and put my life and my future children’s lives in danger. In surgery my hands were tied down, my questions were not answered. I was terrified, shaking and not a single person other than my husband would look at me or talk to me. None of the practitioners in the room would give me the slightest assurance that my baby and I would be okay. My baby was healthy with Apgars of 8/9. He should have been since he didn’t have a single deceleration throughout the entire labor. I recovered well physically from my surgery with no complications. So, nobody died, and nobody had any serious physical complications. Therefore, I did not have a bad outcome. The fact that I couldn’t walk past the doors to that surgical suite without having a panic attack didn’t count. The fact that I had to quit my job in NICU because I couldn’t walk past those doors didn’t count. The fact that I had nightmares for years didn’t count. The fact that I was diagnosed with PTSD, necessitating medication and therapy didn’t count. The fact that my obstetrician essentially committed rape by instrumentation didn’t count. Nothing counted except the fact that mom and baby left the hospital with no visible damage except a nicely healing cesarean scar. Because there was no “harm” I couldn’t bring charges against the physician if I wanted to. And you guys want tort reform.
I planned a homebirth with my second baby. Was it riskier to labor for a VBAC out of the hospital? It depends on how you define risk. I was comfortable that my midwife could monitor for complications and recommend a transfer if necessary. I wasn’t certain that every possible complication could be avoided or accounted for but I was damned certain that she wouldn’t call for other people to hold me down while she forced something into my vagina while I was screaming “No! Stop! You’re hurting me!”
My former obstetrician practiced at a tertiary referral center in a large shared practice. The hospital delivered over 3000 babies per year. Someone, a partner, a colleague, a nurse, an administrator, someone had to know that this man treated patients this way. Someone had an obligation to protect women from him, and they failed. As his patient, I felt powerless to do anything other than avoid insofar as possible any further contact with him or with any other medical doctor for the rest of my life. As obstetricians, you should be policing yourselves so that doctors like him don’t continue to do harm. So, when you’re lamenting the fact that women don’t trust you, don’t forget to consider reasons other than “those wacky natural birth freaks” that they might have for their mistrust.

Hi Dr F - thanks for your comment(s) today.

We could argue about what necessitates a cesarean, but I'd rather comment on the fact that your comment is clinical, when this was a wholly emotional post. There is a real person on the other side of that cesarean draping, and I am but one example of perhaps tens of thousands of women who would rather be sterilized than undergo that surgery again. We carry a sense of terror through our entire reproductive years, and perhaps for the rest of our lives. But you get to sew up and go home, and write papers arguing that women should be grateful to you for all your hard work. And make no mistake, I'll be grateful to any doctor who operates on me when it's necessary. But I hate to believe that all the compassion has been trained out of doctors, and that they cannot see the emotional (let alone the physical) toll these operations can have on us.

I wonder if, after reading about the feelings that many of us carry into pregnancies years down the road, you won't think twice before pressing a woman into an intervention or surgery that she might be better off without. You could learn something here. You could help a woman avoid what I'm feeling now. You could be her hero.

Or, you could be the one she loathes the rest of her life when she cries at night about scars on her womb.
.-= TheFeministBreeder´s last blog ..Coming to a Television Near You on March 3rd… =-.

>> Cutting a baby out is not the healthiest thing for anyone involved, unless it is 100% necessary.

The problem is that we never know what is 100% necessary prospectively. Cesareans in mothers that would have delivered vaginally with a healthy baby were 0% necessary. Cesareans in mothers that never would have delivered or would have delivered a injured baby are 100% necessary. Of course we never could know for sure which group a mother was in going forward, we can only know that looking back.

Ultimately we have to choose/recommend cesarean when there seems to be substantial risk of the baby being injured by proceeding. We can all argue where that line should be, and how much risk we are willing to take, or even how much risk is really there, but we can never know that any choice is 100% necessary. Such a requirement is an impossible standard to achieve.
.-= Nicholas Fogelson, MD´s last blog ..High Tech Mosquito Destruction =-.

@Lisa - this being your first post, and never having experienced a cesarean, I can see how you'd be a little clueless about cesarean trauma. First of all, if everyone you know was disappointed by their birth experience, then I feel sorry for the people you know. Birth can be amazing, beautiful, empowering, and healthy. Many women have amazing birth experiences with the right preparation and support.

Second, the baby is NOT all the matters. The mode of delivery matters immensely not only in terms of satisfaction, but also in terms of safety. Cesareans are major abdominal surgery that carry risks to both the mother and the child, and all future pregnancies. We aren't born with zippers on our abdomens. Cutting a baby out is not the healthiest thing for anyone involved, unless it is 100% necessary.

I, like tens of thousands of other woman in this country, absolutely would not choose to have another child if I knew that child had to be born via cesarean. But that's why I'm taking steps to make sure I have another vaginal birth - AT HOME - nowhere near a bunch of obstetric surgeons who are just dying to perform another surgery on my already-scarred uterus.

Lisa, you are addressing a woman who suffered PTSD from her c-section, so I think it may be safe to say someone who has suffered like that would be scared to deal to have it happen again.

I have had 2 c-sections, and I am SO petrified to have a third child, because I am scared to death that I will have to go through another surgical delivery.
Of course I will do ANYTHING for my children, but it doesn't make it any less traumatic, or upsetting for someone.

My second c-section saved my life, and saved my son's life... it still sucked, I still have nightmares about it, and I still would rather labor a million years than go through surgery over again.
It is simply just how some women feel.
.-= Danielle´s last blog ..Keeping Cora in our Thoughts =-.

I'm new here and this is one of my first posts.

I'm trying to understand where your fear is coming from. I don't have any experience with c-sections, I've only had one vaginal delivery. I sure as hell don't want a c-section, but if I really wanted another child and I knew it meant that I'd *had* to have a c-section, I wouldn't let it stop me.

I mean, it kinda sounds like you are saying that you don't even want a child delivered if it's by c-section. Now, that can't really make sense to you, can it?

I don't mean this in a mean way, and I hope it's not coming across like that. I mean, you can and would do ANYTHING for your children, right? Can reminding yourself of that to help with the fear? That this is about the child, not the delivery? A healthy child = successful delivery.

And finally, for what it's worth, most of the moms I know/have read, had major, major disappointments with their deliveries, no matter the circumstance.

oh, okay, really finally - can you find a large practice with rotating OBs on call? There was never an issue for me as far as being pushed for a delivery time because an OB was either on call or not.

This was a touching post. I admire your determination for VBAC. When I gave birth I was terrified to have a C-Section. They kept threatening to give me one. I fought them off like a warrior but it was rough going there for a while.

http://www.oldschoolnewschoolmom.com/2009/07/visit...

Good for you! Acknowledging your fear is the first step to getting past it. I admire your determination and candid words. We're all rooting for you!

Oh, do I have a happy Hypnobirthing story for you, Gina.
First baby labor: 32 hours. (No hypnobirthing)
Second baby labor: 4 hours (maybe). (With hypnobirthing)
And best of all, I didn't even think I was in labor with my second. The hypnobirthing relaxed me incredibly and I had huge fears when pregnant with my second that I would have the same complications I had with the first. The HB, among other things, addresses your fears.

It breaks my heart that so many women have had such traumatic birth experiences. My 1st didn't end in a cesarean, but it was bad enough.

Birth affirmations helped me a great deal with my 1st homebirth. I've also started using them during this pregnancy.
Like you said, you can do anything you put your mind to. Fill it with nothing but positive thoughts!

If I didn't have the experience I had with my 1st, I wouldn't be where I am today. Sometimes it takes a bad experience to help us rise to the people we were meant to be.
.-= Darcel´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday : It snowed in Southern VA! =-.

Hey Gina, I've been reading you for a while and I've never commented. Alas, I am now. I had my first child in September. I was planning for a home birth. I spent my entire pregnancy obsessed with birth, reading birth experiences, studying the history of birth, etc, etc, etc. None of that prepared me though for a baby who decided to flip to breech at 34 weeks. I was a first-time mother and I had no choice in the matter. My midwives couldn't help. I had to undergo a c-section. I will more than likely never have a child again. I can't even begin to explain my disappointment with the way my son was born. He is a very high needs baby and sometimes I wonder if maybe he is that way because he was forced to enter the world before he was ready. I'm a writer and I've yet to write my birth story. In fact, it's better not thought of. I deleted all the birth blogs I was reading. It's depressing to even reflect on how he was born.
Yes, I got the healthy baby I wanted.
But the birth I had hoped for? Ha. Not even close.

Thank you so much for writing this...you've said exactly what has been in my mind and my heart for the past two years.
I want another child. I'm afraid of having to endure another unnessecary c-section.
The more I read, the more I learn, the more determined I am to avoid a CBAC, and the more afraid I become that my care provider may not "let" me have that choice.
.-= Semi-Crunchy Mama´s last blog ..Dusty Picture Frames and Kamikaze Birds =-.

First, I want to say that I love your blog!

I was induced myself (and came darn close to a c-section), at 42 weeks by a Nurse Midwife. If my husband hadn't insisted I probably wouldn't have even shown up for the induction. I wish I hadn't. I know that my baby just wasn't ready yet. I still hold a lot of guilt, regret, and fear. I just have to remind myself to trust my body and my baby. I am definitely having a home birth next time.

I know exactly how you feel. Before my VBAC turned CBAC this past June, I had hope. I thought, my first experience can be changed by my education about birth, etc. Then since that second c-section, I feel... lost. My hope is gone. I feel powerless. I feel that my two biggest hopes now are contradictory... having another baby, and not enduring another c-section. 1
.-= embee´s last blog ..my love is strong enough =-.

I'm with Angel on this one, Ewan's birth didn't end up in a section but it veryyyyyyyyy nearly did thanks to the induction at 39 weeks.

The pregnancy was very unplanned and there was literally a massive fall out because of it so i was in my own head, not really engaging in the process.

I was very depressed for months because i didn't push him out "by myself" (i saw forceps as a failure) and it completely buggered the breastfeeding relationship before it had a chance to begin.

Now that i'm more educated on the birthing process and what could go wrong i'm terrified of those 2 lines on the pee stick.

the only way for me to calm my cesarean voice, was to make a very detailed birth plan in case of c section and have it signed by a dr. My cesarean was a transfer after a failed homebirth, i was in transition for over 24 hours and my son was stuck and nothing would make him descend.. we transfered and i had a birth plan that was respected and, considering it was a c section, it went pretty well. It was a very disappointing birth experience, but not a traumatic one. It didn't matter how much info, conviction and will I had into my vbac, the cesarean voice never stopped, but having a plan for a respected c section took the anxiety away.

I hear you Gina. It's a scary thought, but I couldn't tell you anything anymore positive that you didn't already just say here. The trick is moving the knowledge that you can do it from your head to your heart though.
.-= Melodie´s last blog ..Lopsided Breasts =-.

I recently met a woman at a birthday party who had a VBAC after an extremely traumatic C section in a country in which she didn't speak the language and they wouldn't allow her husband in the OR because he was male. When she told me that her 11 week old was born by VBAC, I started to cry, I was so happy for her and jealous of her.

I've only delivered once, by C section (medically necessary, but horribly horribly traumatic), and I won't again, but I find it incomprehensible that more doctors don't support it.
.-= Sadia´s last blog ..Birth order =-.

We know that you can avoid a c-section if you give birth at home. You should also be able to avoid one in the hospital. In my case, labor took longer than whatever they considered typical or safe or cost effective, but I was extremely assertive and refused to allow something that I considered to be dangerous. It was unreasonable for a hospital (in this case a nurse-midwife) to claim that the choice was theirs and not mine.

Doulas are a nice idea, but I suggest bringing along a bodyguard (and perhaps a lawyer and a video crew.)
.-= Priss´s last blog ..In the Na'vi =-.

Gina, I can only imagine what you must be feeling. I was traumatized by my daughter's birth (which didn't even end in a c-section), enough to put me in a constant state of fear for my entire 2nd pregnancy. Yes, arming yourself with as much information as possible first and foremost is incredibly important, and will give you the greatest odds of getting the birth you want. Also, surrounding yourself with knowledgeable and supportive advocates will protect you even further. Your intimate knowledge of the legal system will give you an even greater advantage, and the authority to insist on what you want. I think that finding the right practitioner, one with an immaculate HBAC track record, and making your wishes known will go a long way toward calming your fears. And hypnobirthing is awesome--I'm so happy for you for going that route. (BTW, have you considered water birth?) It can be scary thinking you're squaring off all alone against the entire medical establishment, but fortunately, there are more and more practitioners & supporters on our side. Homebirth, in Illinois especially, can be a complicated negotiation, but it can happen if you know what you're doing, which you clearly do. I have all the faith in the world that you'll have your homebirth, and a beautiful (and I'm sure hilarious) birth story to remember the rest of your life. I don't have to tell you that information is power. The more you learn, the more confident you'll feel. You've already done it once! It's apparent that once you set your mind to something, you make it happen. So, don't let your worry consume you--just concentrate on making a healthy babeh. :)

It's great that you are exposing the emotional fallout of the cesarean epidemic. While I have not had a c-section and actually had 2 unmedicated Birth Center births, I know that's at least in part because I was really well-educated about this beforehand and had midwifery options in the city where I live. I hope your stories will help some pregnant women to seek out the facts about cesarean, instead of taking a cavalier attitude toward surgery. I expect that the normalization of cosmetic surgery must be part of the trend toward treating surgery as no big deal, but the Today Show and other media should start questioning their assumptions and recognizing the many costs associated with major abdominal surgery.

you're right to point out that first time birthing moms (or non c-section moms) don't fear uterine rupture, because it's a reminder that VBAC or no, when using pitocin, the chance for rupture is similar for both groups. That's something I wish doctors would tell women before insisting they use pitocin.
.-= Meg´s last blog ..Back in the Saddle! =-.

@Prisa - I'm sorry about your situation. I have written about consent (or lack thereof) before. Here's a link to one such post:
http://thefeministbreeder.com/women-are-the-proble...

I feel for you. I've never experienced the fear you are talking about, but I do know about anxieties that arise when it comes to planning your child's birth. For my second son we planned a homebirth. There was no anxiety about that choice, but after finding out that I was GBS positive and had a CNM with no prescription privileges, I was very nervous about not having antibiotics available for labor. I wholeheartedly trusted that our home was the best and safest place to birth, but I also felt that to be as safe as possible, we should have those antibiotics. Luckily, our pediatrician wrote a prescription and all was well. But the anxiety that came from trying to decide if going to the hospital was even worth it just for this antibiotic, or if the suggested herbal therapy would suffice and staying home could still be in the plans was too much. So, just know I am thinking of you and wish I could help relieve your stress.

Hello from one of your fans on twitter. I would love to see you address the issue of consent. Not of informed consent, just of consent. Without the option to refuse a medical procedure, the ability to consent to it is moot. My personal experience is that with my first baby, there were many attempts to verbally armtwist me into believing that I had no option to refuse a Cesarean. I assured them that I I could refuse, and that I would take legal and extra-legal actions if it were forced on me. Saying "no" hadn't worked, but the threats did. This didn't stop them from doing some other less extreme things that I clearly said "no" to, but it did prove effective for avoiding a major surgery that I did not need.

How can anyone allow or disallow us to refuse surgery? I understand that we want to avail ourselves of the expertise doctors and hospitals bring to dealing with injuries and diseases, but they have increased the hazards of giving birth.
.-= Priss´s last blog ..In the Na'vi =-.

I don't know why I was so curious to google the Today Show- maybe it was because my DD was born just 16 months ago, and I still have no idea what went on during my C/S. Maybe because I wanted to see the reaction of the mom, or the way they described the surgical process. Whatever it was, I was horrified anyone would even want to tape a C/S, let alone post it for national viewers. Why are they trying to normalize sectioning a woman's abdominal wall and uterus, when instead they could be normalizing homebirth, or even waterbirth (hey let's talk about how normal it was for Gisele Bundchen to have her baby at home, in her bathtub! http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/gisele-bundc...)

It makes me sad to hear that there are so many other mothers scared to have another baby after cesarean. My H2B and I are starting to talk about baby #3, and I can't even begin to get him to understand how scared I am to have another one. We will try to VBAC, and in my heart and mind, I know it is possible, but the "what if's" scare the hell out of me. I have not even begun to heal mentally from my cesarean that we may just well put off having another child forever.
One aspect I am having the most trouble dealing with now is how worried I was of becoming pregnant right after we had our 2nd child. There was no way in hell I was going to have another baby after my cesarean so I went on birth control- which led us to begin formula feeding our baby, which was not in the plans at all (just as my C/S was not). Now that my baby is 16 months old, and I am slowly coming to terms with all of it, I am realizing how much that fear kept me from welcoming my baby girl into my life with open arms and led to weaning all because I was so scared of bringing another life into the world.
I indeed carry my Scarlet C around. Not a day goes by where I don't acknowledge my scar in some way or form. I hope there will be a day I don't fear it, but can empower others as much as you are!

Thanks for reminding me why I avoid television. Now I have to go torture myself finding and watching the Today show segment. How sadistic the networks are! As a HypnoBirthing mom and teacher, I will put in a plug for beginning your daily practice as soon as possible. We have even had moms come through class prenatally. It is never too early to begin focusing on what you WANT (rather than what you don't want). And you already know the amazing power of your mind! You have the ability to create a mental space where you can enjoy every step of this process, from conception right through labor, birth, postpartum, and beyond. You and your beautiful family deserve it!

Yup. Having that ONE cesarean changes every single thing about having babies. Even just thinking about them.

I had my first child in June and have always wanted to have a big family - my OB is fine with more than one c-section but I really want to avoid it at all costs. I am terrified to get pregnant again for fear I will end up in another section. I was trying to explain that to hubby the other night and, as much as he is supportive, he just doesn't understand the fear. I am so glad I found your post, it makes me feel like I'm not alone. Everyone else I know says "just have another c-section." I just can't.

I love your determination. Although my first was a section & I didn't want it- Now, I think my feelings are a bit different. It's great that you put information out there that I wouldn't know otherwise.

I completely understand. I fought like HELL to get a VBAC with Tristan and even though it's a "valid" reason (placenta abruption) I still feel like my body, my womb, failed me. That having TWO uterine scars have damaged my uterus so badly that I may not be able to carry another baby or that I will end up with a 3rd C/S which I don't think mentally I could handle.

I wish I could say I'm surprised at the Today Show (I refuse to watch it or shows like it) but I'm not. We live in a society where any/all surgeries birth/not birth related, are praised and are seen as superior to more "natural" approaches.
.-= Sarah @ OneStarryNight´s last blog ..Vegetable Penne =-.