The minute a man gets married, he immediately becomes more attractive to women around him.  And if he’s happily married, and constantly talks about how much he loves his wife and can’t wait to be a father, any woman within earshot of this phenomena is ready to drop trou and climb on top of him.  Women are desperate like that.  These women don’t think "I need a man like that", they think "I need him."  (I borrowed that last part from Chris Rock because he stated it so eloquently).

I bring this up because John told me how sweet all the girls at work think he is because he talks about me and the baby all the time.  And because he has alot of 22 yr. old girls in his friends list (who he knows in real life) that are clearly awe-struck by him, and are probably secretly thinking that if they hang around long enough, they’ll get their hands on him.

I know how women think.  Again, women are desperate like that.  This reason alone is the why we don’t run the country.

Having said all that, I also know that John would never, in a million-billion years stray from me.  I trust him far more than I trust anybody in this whole world.  However, I know exactly what those girls are thinking.  I imagine that every time he talks about how much he loves me and how much he loves our fetus, the women around him just melt. I have mixed feelings about this.  Partly it makes me laugh, and partly it makes me kinda sick.

Maybe I’m just jealous.  Not of those girls, but of the fact that guys don’t swoon over me when they find out I’m married and pregnant.  I’m far less attractive to the opposite sex these days.  Somehow, John has become more attractive.

Pretty much from now on, I’m only going to be less attractive, and John will only be more so.  By the time he’s in his 40′s and driving a BMW, he’ll have to fight off the 22 yr. old girls with a stick.  Meanwhile, young boys will be calling me "Ma’am" and looking at me like I’m week-old bread.

Does the injustice of the world ever take a day off?

***end yet another excerpt from my unpublished (and unwritten) book about the world’s tireless efforts to feed sexism and ensure the domination of man over woman, tentatively titled "Now Ain’t That Some Shit!"