I completely, 100% agree with you. I had a coworker who smoked through both of her pregnancies and continued to smoke after. She got really defensive and said that her dr. TOLD HER to keep smoking b/c quitting would be too stressful and cause more problems for the baby than the smoking. Talk about a complete and total load of crap! But when there are myths out there like that it just gives women who smoke a cop out. And intentionally exposing yourself to second-hand smoke while pg is just as bad in my opinion. Nothing annoys me more than to see a pregnant woman at a smoke-filled bar. Sure, she's drinking water, but she's breathing smoke! I was so excited when I found a no-smoking bar while I was pg. I got to go hang out with my friends, play pool...and not fill mine and Abbey's lungs with carcinogens. I've never smoked, so I don't know first-hand how hard it is to quit, but I watched my grandpa die from emphysema when I was 9...never really wanted to try it after that.

Have you ever seen an old Hollywood movie where one of the characters has gone to see their doctor and as they are talking in the examination room about the patient's health, the doctor has an ashtray and is puffing away?
While we've come a long away from the days when EVERYONE smoked EVERYWHERE (literally), it still wasn't that long ago. It used to be normal. Some people back then would actually think that there was something wrong with YOU if you weren't join in on all of the fun.
Smoking was definitely a cheap, wide-spread bad habit/(group)activity back THEN. Think about the places w/in our society that welcomed smokers then, but now do not want anything to do with them:
-MANDATORY-
***Airplanes
***Government Buildings (specifically the Dirkson Fed. Building in Chicago comes to mind)
***Public Buildings
***Public Schools:
-Smoking lounge for staff (S.E. Gross in Brookfield had this until about '95 or '96)
-Student smoking lounges (Info VIA my fiancee, HS student, vary. parts CA between '86-'90)
***Inside Hospitals
***Doctor's Office
-OPTIONAL and/or VIA SMOKING BAN(s)-
***Cars
***Residences
***Restaurants
***Bars
***Bowling Alleys (yet years after 'the last puff', they STILL wreak of cigs and cigars)
***STRIP CLUBS!!! (how weird is THAT?)
Does this also mean that pregnant women back in the day used to smoke w/o a care? Yes, but this scenario doesn't seem like it has been talked about enough, especially in comparison to "the Marlboro Men" of our society. To a normal person, smoking is obviously bad, but to a pregnant woman, smoking is DEVASTATING...
I remember growing up (N side of Brookfield, by LaGrange Park) and seeing A LOT of pregnant women puff away as if nothing has changed for them since becoming knocked up. How awkward is this: being around the age of 10-13, standing outside talking to a couple of your neighbors as the pregnant 16 yr old puffs away and the mother of three joins her (and yes, she smoked throughout ALL her pregnancies). What great role models they make to the youth living on the block! Oh, and aren't they good Catholics? Maybe they needed to go to confession a little more to confess their sins- including this one!
So, if you're me, what do you say? what do you do?
It seems as if I can concentrate and give the issue some thought, numerous names of pregnant smokers that I know, come to mind. The latest example of a p.s. would be 'S' (protecting identity). Her son is about the same age as your first kid and guess what she did while pregnant? Her long-time boyfriend who lives with her didn't say shit about the issue, nor did he try to quit smoking so he could support her in the effort. From before preg, during preg, and after preg, it seems like her smoking habits haven't changed. I believe her mom and older sis (mom of 3 or 4) and various other people that she was around smoked while pregnant. W/Ms. S, I tried to say something VIA computer about it AND included research as my backing. The only thing this accomplished was awkwardness and some temporary hostility. Also, others who are closer to her I talked about the issue with seemed to agree with me, but yet they were passive. Irk....
...and as a final note: genes can be important when it comes to suffering any side effects that come with the nasty habit. My grandfather started smoking at 12 or 13 (remember this is 1915 Chicago near the current-day Cook County Jail and IN A GHETTO... thanks). He became a lithographer when he was 18 and years later, he was promoted to foreman- a job position that advertenly or inadvertently led to his chain-smoking habit. He retired in his early to mid 60s and stopped smoking. Some doctors that know him say that his genes are what kept him healthy, despite the habit. Anyway, before dying at the age of 90 a few years back, he suffered some from the typical shit old people get when their systems start giving out. The only real obvious smoking-caused crap that he has was- a small case of emphysema and some heart problems (which caused him to get open-heart surgery at Loyola Medical Center (Hospital) when he was 85).
On the other hand... my 40-something year old cousin who lives in unincorporated DuPage Co. by Glen Ellyn/Glendale Heights border as well as Key West, has smoked FOREVER. Her habit dates back to at least when she was 15, gave birth to a son, and then put him up for adoption. After this event, she dropped out of school and waitressed for years at smoky restaurants. Now after smoking at least a pack a day AND after smoking an unknown quantity of weed, her respiratory system is going down the tubes. Any of the stereotypical respiratory problems that are affiliated w/the habit she has. She makes it known -often- that smoking sucks, don't start, and if you are smoking, quit if you can. She's serious. She regrets starting, but for whatever common reason, like many others, quitting isn't probably going to happen. Don't ask me why.
Briefly...http://thefeministbreeder.typepad.com/the_feminist...
SOME PEOPLE WHO DIED FROM SECOND-HAND SMOKE (and were non-smokers):
***Dana Reeves (entertainer, caregiver, widow of Christopher Reeves)
***Andy Kaufman (entertainer, weird SOB)
SOME PEOPLE WHO DIED FROM FIRST-HAND SMOKE:
***Bill Hicks (funny man)
***John 'the Duke' Wayne (beat lung cancer once, taped anti-smoking PSA, died from lung cancer)
***The Marlboro Man... or two (No kidding)
***Patrick Swazy (his career's already dead and he will be too soon)
***Dezi Arnaz
***Nat King Cole
***Michael Landon
***George Harrison
***etc.
Oh, and this this is pretty creepy, too (http://whyquit.com/whyquit/BryanLeeCurtis.html)