May 29th, 2010
Why I Won’t Leave My Births Up to Chance
Last week I was privy to some tweets about a mom who’d just delivered a new baby. People were congratulating her and sending her well wishes, so I followed some links to her site. The first link led me to a cute little Friday series she had running which consisted of guest posts by other new moms whose pregnancies and births she was following*. Each week, she asked a mom a series of canned questions about their experience, including whether or not they had a natural birth, and whether they thought she was crazy for wanting a natural birth.
There were around a dozen interviews with different mothers, and every single one of the moms supported her decision to have a natural birth. In fact, every single one of the moms said they had planned to go natural as well. However, out of all the moms, only ONE mentioned taking a 12-week intensive natural birth class (specifically The Bradley Method) and (you can see where I’m going with this) only that mom actually reported getting the birth she wanted.
Coincidence? I think not.
As the moms reported on the details of their births, each resembled the previous story. Each Mom wanted to try to go natural, but then X, Y, Z happened, and she got the epidural, or the cesarean, or both. Most seem perfectly okay with that because, according to them, it couldn’t have been helped. None of the moms really liked the idea of having a needle in their back (the epidural) or having major abdominal surgery (a cesarean) but when it came right down to it that’s what they all (except the Bradley Mom) ended up getting. And each one (besides the Bradley Mom) told the pregnant mother not to count too much on her birth plan because nobody really has control over what happens during their birth.
Respectfully, I beg to differ.
What happens during a woman’s birth is not all up to chance. Maybe some of it, but certainly not all of it. Despite their best intentions, what most women don’t know is that those interventions can be nearly impossible to avoid without having comprehensive birth education, along with just a little bit of luck. And by “comprehensive” I do NOT mean a 1-day class offered at the very hospital that will be pushing all the interventions on a mother. An 8-hour class cannot possibly explain the complexities of natural birth to women living in a culture with such a highly medicalized birth model. I don’t believe that women need to be taught how to birth, but I do think they need to be fully informed about any interventions they are looking to avoid, and learn techniques for coping with labor naturally. In these modern times, women fear birth because they haven’t grown up seeing their mothers/sisters/aunts giving birth, and they have no idea what a normal birth looks like. The fear of birth is very often a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The mothers who remain under-educated about birth will assume that it was Birth’s fault that their labor went awry. Unfortunately, in many cases (Yes, probably even yours) the birth didn’t have to unfold the way it did.
And yes – no matter what anybody tells you, your birth experience matters, even when you had a healthy baby.
The choices we make play a huge role in the birth process, and are often the culprit when we hear about “failure to progress,” or unbearable pain, or even a mom who pushes for hours without being able to get the baby out. Rarely do you ever hear a cesarean story that does not include something about an induction (which carry a high failure rate) or even augmentation (Pitocin, Cervadil, Cytotec in an attempt to “speed up” labor) or an epidural. Epidurals are often the gateway to labor complications because they can slow labor, and make the mother immobile, which can make pushing ineffective. Lots of cesareans happen because of a breech baby, even in Canada where, a year ago, the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists called for doctors to stop automatically recommending c-sections for breech babies.
Things simply do not have to be like this.
Of course, rarely do those women ever think that any of the interventions in their birth were used without serious medical indication. As a mother who once believed my baby would have died without all those interventions, who now knows the TRUTH about what happened to me, I can honestly say that I know how hard it is to come to terms with being duped. I wasn’t stupid, and neither are you, it’s just terribly difficult to find the truth when our healthcare system relies so heavily on the billions of dollars a year that medicalized births bring in. Aside from the money, our physicians simply are not trained to attend normal, natural births. In Canada, many doctors are still telling women that breech cesarean is safer simply because they, themselves, are not trained to vaginally deliver breech babies. The necessary skills have almost completely evolved out of the community, and that is a terrifying thought. However, on that note, the SOGC is at least smart enough to have issued the recommendation that physicians re-learn the lost art of breech delivery. Now it’s time for American doctors to get that message.
Most of my friends would be surprised to learn that just a few short years ago, I was one of those women running around telling people that I had an “emergency” cesarean, and thanking “god” that hospitals existed because me and my baby “might have died” without them. Then, I began to learn.
Boy, did I learn.
I learned that, according to research by Henci Goer, my induction had a whopping “50-250% chance” of ending in that cesarean. I also realized that, according to Dr. Michael Brodman, Chief OB/GYN at New York’s Mount Sinai Hospital, many cesareans are called by the doctors at around 4 pm in the afternoon because the doc simply wants to go home. (Guess what time mine was called for.) I also saw my birth played out as a cartoon in “The Business of Being Born”** – which made me realize that what happened to me was SO common that my failed induction was FAR from unique. In fact, my birth story was scripted by the hospital, just as many are.
I learned that all the choices I made led to that cesarean. I learned that my body COULD push out a “big” baby, because just 22 months later, that is exactly what my body did. The same doctor who told me I couldn’t fit an 8 lb baby through my pelvis went on to catch my nearly 10 lb baby, which did fit through that same exact pelvis.
And I didn’t even get an apology.
Before I got this nice uterine scar, nobody explained to me that ending up with a cesarean wouldn’t just complicate that delivery, but it also would put every future pregnancy at risk for placental abnormalities, uterine rupture, and repeat cesarean deliveries, which, of course, carry their own risks. Before I walked in for my induction, the doctor didn’t tell me that I had a ridiculously high chance of leaving the hospital with a 6-inch uterine scar, rendering me unable to pick up my own baby for days, or even drive a car. He also never told me that breastfeeding would be made infinitely harder because my body wasn’t ready to have that baby.
And now, years into my life as a birth activist, I see both powerful anecdotal and scientific evidence proving that a more informed mother has a much greater chance at getting the birth she wants. Even when the baby, or her body, has other plans, the better her birth education, the better she feels about how her birth played out. Women who are more informed will often pick providers who will respect them, which also plays a major role in the way a mother feels about her birth.
It’s true that not every single women who takes an 8 to 12-week birth class will avoid the epidural or cesarean, but statistics show, her chances are drastically improved. Bradley reports that women who take their series deliver without any drugs 90% of the time*** (just ask this mom). This statistic alone is a very good reason to drag yourself to a birth class.
No one should sit back and settle for whatever type of birth they are handed. Be an active participant. Read every single chapter of those birth books, even the ones you think will never apply to you. Take a full 8 to 12-week birth education course. Question everything you are told. Write a birth plan that covers every possible scenario, and have a strong supportive birth team who will help make sure that your birth plan is followed to the letter whenever possible.
And hire a doula. Seriously, seriously, hire a doula.
No one can guarantee you the exact birth you want, but that’s no reason to stay uninformed. There is no harm whatsoever in taking 8-12 weeks of birth classes, and when the birth is over, you’ll likely be satisfied with every single penny you spent on them.
In my educated experience, there is very little about birth that happens by chance. Take charge of this event – it is one of the most life altering and monumental things you will ever have the privilege to experience.
And now, because I believe in the power of story-telling, tell us how taking a full childbirth education series did, or did not, affect your birth outcome.
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*I purposefully did not link to these stories because I don’t want to embarrass anyone. Suffice to say, they’re very, very common, and could be found just about anywhere.
**I would also like to mention that The Business of Being Born is on sale at Amazon right now for just $7.99 with free shipping. Seriously, this will be the best $8 you have ever spent. No matter what you think you know, please, please watch this movie.
***Updated to add that this statistic is self-reported by the Bradley Method, and includes vaginal births only.
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Yes, yes, YES! This is further evidence that you are going to be the ass-kickingest childbirth educator there ever was. Hell, *I* want to take your class!
Everything you do is making a major difference. Know that.
Dou-la-la´s last blog ..Our Enormous Balls 
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I can’t agree with you more.
Two friends of mine had c-sections last week. One was a VBAC that labored for 26 hours after SROM. She was informed of her choices. She labored without any pain meds, was free to move around, was given food and drink during labor. Baby turned out to be in a funky position and she consented to a second c-section.
The second was induced. Her Bishop’s Score was a 1. Her doctor had first tried to bully her into a section at 37, stating that the baby was going to be ‘huge’ and there would be no way she’d deliver vaginally. He then slipped up and stated that he didn’t like to deliver babies on the weekends and liked to ‘keep a schedule’. Momma and I spoke, she went back to him the next day and said no. On her due date, she went in and he told her that he was going to induce her. She was 1cm dilated, no effacement, cervix still long and thick.
After laboring on Pitocin for 2 days with no pain relief and 12+ hours of oxygen use, she had a section. She was released three days later ONLY to return to the hospital a few hours later due to massive swelling and heart palpitations. Turns out all of the fluid that they pumped into her from her induction and cesarean was giving her a heart attack because her body wasn’t releasing it.
After dodging death, they tell her that she’s forever going to have blood pressure issues. FOREVER. A perfectly healthy, mid-twenties woman has a baby and her life is forever fucked up by some asshole with a scalpel. She was NOT informed of her choices. No one told her, except for ME, that she could refuse an induction. But believing that her doctor had her best interest at heart, she’s on total bedrest at home while her body tries to heal.
TAKE THE TIME TO INFORM YOURSELVES, LADIES!
Katie´s last blog ..24 things I’ve learned in 24 years.
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Oh Katie – I’m so sorry for your friend. I wish it were THESE stories that women heard, instead of always hearing about how “horrible” natural birth is. The thing about natural birth is, once it’s over – IT’S OVER! The complications from a cesarean can last a lifetime!
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Why oh why do doctors induce women who have had previous caesareans? From everything I’ve read induction increases the risk of uterine rupture! Why the hell do they persist in doing this?? 
I’m sorry for your friend. All the best to her.
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I think just the first mom was a vbac, not the mom who was induced.
Inductions can even cause uterine ruptures in women with no previous c-sections. I just heard about it happening to a friend of a friend.
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Love you, love you, love you. Let me tell you, I started out the first half of my pregnancy under an OB’s care, leaving my delivery up to chance, hoping for the “best.” I figured, sure, I’d *try* for a med free birth, but I wasn’t going to kill myself if my baby “had to be saved” by medical intervention.
But something about being told by a male OB that my plans of at least trying med-free were “crazy” and that I had “no idea what pain is” pissed me right the F off. And you know what, I’m grateful for that a-hole. I became determined to prove him wrong, and per the suggestion of many great online friends and my own MOTHER (who had all 3 of us med-free thanks to the Bradley Method), I signed up for a class.
It was my Bradley teacher who gently suggested I check out the midwife practice that I eventually transfered to at 6 months pregnant, who to this day, I adore and miss so much. I owe every single moment of my son’s AMAZING birth experience to my Bradley class and those fantastic midwives. I am under no illusion that I could have done it any other way.
In fact, my husband is already bugging me about taking a Bradley refresher class for this pregnancy. He knows how much we *both* took away from that, how much it educated us and helped us focus on what was important. Of course, we ultimately wanted a healthy baby, and that’s exactly what we got after 20 hours of med-free labor. We were empowered and educated and able to advocate for ourselves. I recommend Bradley classes to every person I know who says they “hope for a delivery without drugs or interventions.” Hope is not enough. You have to make it happen for yourself.
Jill @BabyRabies´s last blog ..Out of the mouth of my babe
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Jill, I love your story so much because it really does illustrate the power of taking control of your situation. Thank goodness that doctor pissed you off!
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Oh, looky who got threaded comments!
Thanks 
I love my story, too. And I love this post. You did a great job with it.
Jill @BabyRabies´s last blog ..Out of the mouth of my babe
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Yep, there has to be the evidence-based middle ground between “we are totally in control and create our own reality” that doesn’t leave any room for just plain ol’ bad luck or whatever and is hella blaming/shaming, and the “oh well, we can’t really influence anything lalala so I’ll just stay open-minded” style of thinking which in my experience leads straight to an epidural.
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your Blog has been one of the firsts & greatest for enlightening me on my hunches on the maternity care system. I made my husband read your #VBAC story & I swore to him I’d fight that hard for a healthy baby. I’m
still a little scared and I need your virtual arse kicking but I think there are downfalls to a birth plan- like relying on it or support too much. Also, in part of my own insecurities about the compromises I’ve made- planned hospital birth & ultrasounds- I feel like the “birth” people or world will just write me off & say I’m doomed. Does it really
have 2B all or nothing?
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Sarah, think about it this way: Your birth plan tells the people around you how you expect to be treated, whether you have a VBAC, or end up with a repeat cesarean. A laboring woman should not be trying to communicate left-brain requests to anyone while in labor. Therefore, if you have your wishes in writing, and your birth team knows how to support your wishes, then you can focus on doing what YOU need to do, which is birth your baby. It’s not all or nothing, but one can never, ever be too prepared for labor & delivery, especially in the hospital setting. Then, no matter what happens, at least you feel that you made your own choices and nobody made them for you.
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“A laboring woman should not be trying to communicate left-brain requests to anyone while in labor.”
This is exactly right. Even with my midwife and my natural birth plan I came within a hairsbreadth of having a c-section. My son was large (10 lbs 4 oz) and he had his hand up by his head so he got a little stuck and they had to suck him out with a vacuum. It was only days later that it occurred to me that I should have had them turn the epidural off so that I could get into a better position to push. I had only gotten it to help me relax enough to dilate after I got stuck in bed because he was not reacting to the contractions the way they wanted him too. I felt so stupid for not thinking of it at the time but you just can’t count on being able to think the same way during labor.
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Which is exactly why women need a supportive, loving partner AND a doula at their birth!
U guys are so correct. I had just such a huge hang-up for not even getting a shot at my birth plan (which I have taken responsibility for). My girlfriend and I as first time moms both took 12 week courses and both were induced, she had a very unnatural labor and birth also but did not end in a cesarean, she did get an episiotomy. I dont like weighing so much on outside factors like classes or your birth team b/c I need this time to have a belief in myself. Before we began TTC 2years after my DS birth and my cesarean he said he’d support me in getting a doula, a midwife, going to Bradley Classes and being my coach. yeah… The new Bradley Classes I attended were from a new teacher and she wasnt very gung-ho on questioning the DR, WTF? I also felt the Bradley Class was so focused on the damn husbands that when my husband wasnt going along with the program anymore, I felt abandoned once again. So, I kept reading all the material and focusing on trusting myself, I am going into the idea of hospital birth trying to get to the point as if I were unattended. I like the Bradley Classes material but it focuses too much on physiological, when it can be mental prep that makes a difference too. Maybe it was just my teachers.
My husband and I took the 12-week bradley course, had a doula, and I COMPLETELY agree with you that it was money well-spent. I thought going into pregnancy that my body would know how to birth, and I was already in a very empowered frame of mind, but taking the class did more than reaffirm my convictions about natural birth–it also educated me about every possible birth scenario and outcome. I think it’s so vital for all parents to really have an understanding of those medical procedures and informed consent.
After 58 hours of labor, I had an epidural, took a nap, and pushed Alice out soon after. If I had waited another hour, two hours, eight hours, twenty-four hours, I would have eventually been so exhausted that I would get some rest, or maybe I would have been able to push Alice out without drugs. I did not end up having a natural “successful Bradley birth,” yet I still feel proud of the fight I fought and proud that I was educated enough to make an informed choice about the epidural. Without the classes and without our doula, I may have succumbed to the exhaustion much earlier and I am so proud of my experience and still found it empowering.
Princess Lasertron´s last blog ..photos from this week
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My husband and I had our son using the Bradley method and achieved an intervention-free unmedicated birth. It wasn’t by chance- I worked HARD, learned HARD, read and re-read and stretched and paced and worried like crazy.
What amazes me is women who just don’t seem to give a shit what their birth experience was like (or claim to not care, at least). They’re perfectly happy doing whatever their doctor says to do without questioning anything about their care. Even when it ends up with a C-section that totally wasn’t needed. I just don’t understand it. If you COULD avoid major surgery, wouldn’t you WANT to?
Having a healthy baby is number one, but that doesn’t make your birth experience worthless. You still had to live through it and have to live with it and it can effect your choices in the future.
I’ll just never understand people who don’t want to at least educate themselves about the process they’re going through.
the Grumbles´s last blog ..got’s me some of these new-fangled bamboobies…
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I’ve been a bit of a lurker but this post made me want to comment. I whole heartedly agree with your recommendation to take a longer childbirth education class! While it was rough at times giving up our Sunday nights for 10 weeks, I’m so, so, so grateful that we did. I deeply appreciated the conversations between my husband and I after each class as we really processed the information. In the end, what we learned in that class and the support of our doula are what enabled us to have a natural birth with our first child, a 10 lb, 10 oz little boy.
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Educating myself in the form of reading EVERY book I could on childbirth (both med-free and otherwise), and taking a 5 week HypnoBirthing course were the ONLY things that got me through 11 hours of unmedicated labor. I also hired a doula, who unfortunately could not be there because of some unfortunate circumstances, but I KNOW that having her there would only have made the experience that much better, and I plan to hire her for future births.
Sadly, my daughter was delivered by c-section due to an extremely rare obstetric emergency. However, I’m PROUD to say that I went ALL THE WAY to the end without drugs before it was discovered that we needed to get her out ASAP (I was pushing, she was crowning when it happened). My doula said that I absolutely needed the c-section, and that without it we probably both would have died. I’m very lucky for medical intervention, but I’m so glad that I experienced a natural labor.
So yes, it’s true that you can’t always know what’s going to happen, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t prepare for the kind of birth you want and go for it 110%!
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I did hypnobabies as a home study course, read The Thinking Woman’s Guide (a gift from a friend), Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and the Sears pregnancy book, as well as joined an AP support group when I was about 6 weeks pregnant.
I went in informed. I got the birth I wanted (for the most part).
My biggest thing is that I didn’t want to be “that guy” — you know, the one who causes such a fuss and every nurse hates them.
Well, I should have been more assertive because almost everything about my birth was great — right up until I started pushing. I ‘d planned to let my body do the work after my short, 5-hour labor, and the nurse stuck her hand up in my business and told me I wasn’t “pushing effectively enough.” so I closed my mouth, held my breath, squinted my eyes and pushed with everything I had.
Three pushes.
Forty stitches.
Next time? (if I do it again, that is…)
Homebirth or birthing center. I don’t have to worry about being “that guy” because everyone there is on the same page as me.
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Oh man, that’s awful. I hear you on not wanting to cause a fuss. I am so grateful that even my nurse was on my side when it came down to delivery. You poor thing. 40 stitches? Ouch!
Jill @BabyRabies´s last blog ..Out of the mouth of my babe
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With my first baby, I “planned” a natural birth. I took the 4 hour hospital Lamaze class that taught me absolutely nothing other than it was perfectly normal to have an epidural and surprise, surprise… I wound up with an epidural and a whopping shot of Demerol. The narcatics put me in such a daze that I don’t remember my daughter’s birth or the fact that she was a girl. The OB had told me 100% boy and it wasn’t until HOURS after Kaelin was born that I realized I had a daughter.
With baby number 2, we practiced the Bradley method. We knew the risks about epidurals and despite what the hospital told us, that epidurals affect babies. There was no way that I was going to let my baby be drugged. Of course, when I did go into labor, it was so short that we wound up having Harper unassisted at home while we were still taking our bags out to the car. (http://twoembrys.wordpress.com/2010/02/08/harpers-birth-story/)
Now my sister-in-law is pregnant and the doctor has told her that she has a small pelvis and a baby won’t fit (btw, she’s still in her first trimester.) And she believes him! I mailed her my copy of BoBB in hopes that she’ll at least question her OB before she signs up to be cut open.
Jen @ Two Embrys´s last blog ..Brand New Jumperoo!
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I agree with everything you said 100%. I took Bradley classes and had a drug-free birth in hospital with a doula. Though my experience was not traumatic, I am choosing to plan a homebirth with my next baby.
It makes me so sad when I hear friends and acquaintances say, “Well, I wanted to go natural, but…” and there’s always something. I yearn to help them and help to educate them BEFORE this happens, but not being a doula or a Bradley instructor, I don’t know how to do this without sounding overbearing or pushy. There’s such a fine line there and I really want to figure out how to walk it.
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That’s a hard line to walk. Anytime people hear a mother singing the praises of natural birth, they often roll their eyes and think “You know, it doesn’t make you a hero!”
Those people just don’t get it. There’s more to natural birth than just the experience. It has REAL medical benefits as well!
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GREAT post. YES! I took a Bradley class and have said MANY times I never would have made it through having my baby naturally without that education. amazing, amazing, amazing class. I also hear talk of hypnobabies, but I gotta say, I think Bradley is WAY better! JMHO though!
Megan´s last blog ..First Steps
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My birth story is so long… I did have a c-section, in the end – but that doesn’t cancel out the 48 hours of natural labour under a midwife’s care! I hate that my labour isn’t considered “natural” because of those last 12 hours. I should mention that I’m in Canada, and eventually delivered at a hospital with a really good natural birth record.
I was in labour for 48 hours with my midwife, back labour, singing, breathing, in and out of the bath, and at the end of that time, I was totally exhausted and in total despair. My midwife put me in the bath for a half hour to relax me, because by then my cervix was swollen. At that point, she told me that the swelling might go down, but if it hadn’t, I could be in labour for 3 more days before it would dilate. That what I needed was pain relief – and, boy, was I ready! I was READY for that pain block… So I had a hospital transfer. To an amazing, natural birth friendly hospital, and I had my epidural. I want to say that I felt so taken care of after such a long ordeal! The doctor came in and told me to sleep, and they would check me out in the morning. I was fully dilated around breakfast time, and pushed for an hour before the doctor told me that the baby was not even engaged – he’d turned transverse again. She tried 4 pushes using a vaccuum to try to turn him, then told me that it was time for c-section. I demanded two more pushes, and my midwife (who’d come with me to the hospital), was up on the bed, pushing down on my abdomen, while my husband and sister, and a whole team of nurses cheered me on. That was it – I was done, I was ready for the cesearean.
As they were wheeling me to the OR, I started cracking jokes, and then, as they were performing the surgery, I felt pressure on my abdomen again, and the doctor told me to use my yoga breathing. So I sang the song I’d sung through many, many contractions: “Wade in the Water.” I finished the chorus, and heard my son cry.
Breastfeeding was no issue. Once I was out of recovery, my midwife took my son from his dad – where they were sitting skin-to-skin – and positioned him for breastfeeding. The first time we did it, it worked, which really helped during the next few weeks because we didn’t get discouraged when it got tricky. She got him on the other breast, then – well, I don’t remember! I know that first long sleep we took with him on my chest, both of us wrapped in the same blanket.
I suppose there were things we could have done for an easier birth, the one thing we didn’t try – adjustments to position the baby properly, and I’m doing that this time around. But I don’t think I had a bad birth. It was harder than I thought it would be, but it was still spiritual, it was still empowering.
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I think this is a really, really beautiful birth story and anyone who would write off your birth because you had an epidural and consented to surgery is…wrong.
foxy.kate´s last blog ..A purpose-driven life minus Rick Warren & Jesus
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Gina, you’re the best. Again, one of the most fantastic, straightforward, and non-judgmental pieces of writing I’ve seen on a sticky topic. You have such a gift, and when you are done school your clients are going to be a bunch of lucky folks.
I never took any childbirth classes. I’m an introvert. A lofty, elitist virgo. I don’t like other people. I’m uncomfortable doing groupwork. When I was pregnant with my oldest (who is 
it was nothing short of a surprise and solely because I was afraid of hospitals and because I remembered an old friend mentioning a birth center to me did I make my way to a midwifery practice. They never really asked about childbirth classes. I had a friend who had taken a doula class come over and show me a couple things to try to ease labor. (I wasn’t yet a massage therapist.)
I figured – are you ready for this? That just like everything else in my life, that I would just *WING IT.*
Mercifully – oh, so mercifully – my labor only lasted 7 hours. I’d been 3cm and 50% for WEEKS before active labor kicked in. I did my best to labor at home as long as I could, and the midwives kept putting me off on coming in because they had another birth going. Finally, when my sis-in-law (who is an RN) heard me on the background on the phone and said, “yeah, she sounds like she’s getting NAILED. it’s time to go in, dude” my husband just packed us in the car and trucked on over there. I hit transition in the car and arrived at the birth center at 9cm.
I wasn’t coached on pushing. The midwife sat back, stayed out of the way. But I was terrified and tried to get away from the feeling of inevitible pushing. My husband didn’t know what to do, either. Finally, the mw asked me what I was afraid of, and I said, “splitting in HAAAALLLFFFFF!!” and she pointed out that it wasn’t likely to happen, that I needed to focus my effort downward and not up into my throat, and two pushes later, Alejandro was born.
I knew with my twins that I would have a medicalized birth. I hoped to avoid a c-section, but when it became clear that I needed an early induction truly to likely save their lives, I came to peace pretty quickly with the idea of surgery. Again, I had no childbirth class – but I read my ASS off trying to keep our wacky situation (twin to twin transfusion) as “naturally” treated as possible, and my goal truly *was* to have to healthy, living babies. The birth itself didn’t matter. That being said, I ended up having the awesomest OB in the practice who would have delivered baby B breech had she turned. They were born vaginally, 7 hours after induction – and 7 hours before the medical team expected them! My ill-timed epidural left me completely numb and I bitched out the childless resident who was between my legs, yelling at me to hold my breath and push while she counted and WHATEVER.
With the Juicy Baby Genius, I *again* didn’t take a class. Who has time when you have three other kids under the age of five, seriously? But I found a solo practice midwife (the trauma of 50 folks in the OR for the twins’ delivery really did me in) who told me throughout the pregnancy that I already knew what to do, that my body knows what to do. She marveled at my steady blood pressure even as my twins climbed all over me while she took it. She knew I had been curious about a homebirth and encouraged me that if I just wanted to stay home to call me when we were all done and she would come by. And she was right! I knew what to do. I listened to myself, and i listened to the baby. We worked together and got her out. The midwife stayed in the corner of the room and HELD the nurse there with her (I was in a hospital – it was a tradeoff for her solo practice) and my husband knew just the right things to say and just the right way to press on my hips.
That was almost 3 years ago. Since then, I’ve taken a DONA labor doula training course with Debra Pascali-Bonaro (producer of Orgasmic Birth) and a CAPPA childbirth educator class with Kym Dalton, who is the Education Director for CAPPA. And I am amazed – simply FLABBERGASTED – that my plan to wing it worked in my favor. I have no doubt that if my labor had lasted longer that it could very well have been a different story. I’m not real strong. It was scary.
There are SO MANY TOOLS that a woman and her support team can use to ease the discomforts of labor. So many! When you understand the physiology of what is going on – and really know the average times that each stage of labor can last, it makes a huge difference in how you approach the labor. It becomes something not that JUST OMG HAPPENS TO YOU, but becomes something that you expect. Something painful, yes, but most often manageable. But the *instant* that a medical provider starts undermining a woman’s trust in her own body by repeatedly offering early induction, by offering an epidural, by telling her she’s too small or the baby is too big – well, fuck it, you might as well pull out the scalpel.
Oh, my littlest fell asleep out there. I have to go take her upstairs.
foxy.kate´s last blog ..A purpose-driven life minus Rick Warren & Jesus
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uh…that wicked cool shaded smiley in there is supposed to be the number eight. my son is eight, not an AOL-era face.
foxy.kate´s last blog ..A purpose-driven life minus Rick Warren & Jesus
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I did Hypnobabies at home as well as the hospital’s 3-week “Prepared Childbirth” class. I was very informed about everything that could happen. My OB forced me into an induction at 39w1d due to high BP, forced me to have my water broken early, and then I failed to progress, and felt forced into the c-section.
When I say forced, I mean that no options were explained to me, no time was offered to consider my choices, and I submitted to the OB’s tyranny due to “Good Patient Syndrome.” My story highlights why it’s also very important to hire a doula. I needed someone by my side, giving me the strength to follow my instincts and just say NO. I’ve learned my lesson and will not do it alone next time.
Susan K´s last blog ..Post-Partum: Breastfeeding
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I did Hypnobabies home study with my first and read about 15 different natural childbirth books. I transferred to a birth center 6 months along and delivered my first daughter naturally and relatively pain free. It was a pretty good experience, but I was a little disappointed how my CNM handled pushing. With my second I got a CPM who was fantastic. She was there the entire time I was in labor, she let me do my own thing. She asked permission before she did anything. I had a fast, easy first and second stage and did great for about an hour of pushing. Then I pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed. I ended up transferring to the hospital when the baby started having decelerating heart tones and getting a c-section. So I was one of those unlucky ones who had no intervention, no drugs, no induction and ended up c-section. Apparently my dd decided to turn posterior during labor and get stuck half way down. She was in a military position when they pulled her out of my stomach. It sucked. I did everything right. But I guess all you can do is put the odds in your favor and hope you don’t get a bad beat (sorry for the poker analogy, but dh is a poker player). But my “faith in birth” has been a bit shaken. I still try to get my friends to try Hypnobabies though. It seriously is amazing and I did have one natural birth.
Laura´s last blog ..My baby is going to be one
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Laura – I think you used exactly the right analogy. Put the odds in your favor, and hope you don’t get dealt a bad hand. At least you know for certain that you did everything you could, and that it was luck – not an ill-informed patriarchal figurehead – that determined your birth outcome.
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Laura, one of my favorite birth-support friends doesn’t have much faith in birth either – she prefers “respect birth” – That resonates with me too. Peace!
Jen´s last blog ..A mother of a birth story – love and pain
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I feel the exact same way. I did a lot of research before finally choosing to have a planned home birth with a midwife. After finding out I was pregnant, the first book I picked up was the KISS pregnancy book. I was really frustrated by how it talked about birth… and how in the hospital things were going to be done to me… not me having an active part. I didn’t want a doctor just deciding things for me. So I got more books and read every last one of them. I couldn’t be happier then by having my home birth too. I had my boy full sunny side up posterior in just under 9 hours as my first. I don’t think I could have felt comfortable enough in a hospital to progress nearly as fast as I did. I also know that the first doctor I had (when I first found out about my pregnancy) was already pushing drugs for labor – and I wasn’t even 3 months along! Keep up these wonderful posts and get the word out. I had to fight my husbands family up until the end just to get the experience I wanted.
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Great post! I think childbirth education is so important. My water broke nearly 30 hours before my first was born, and I’m quite sure I’d have had at least an epidural and possibly a cesarean without that class. I’ve been teaching for 5.5 years now myself and my students have a much lower cesarean rate than the horrible national average.
I’m curious – what made you go back to the same OB for your VBAC considering how your birth went the first time? In my experience, that doesn’t usually end well (I’m very glad you were an exception!).
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Laura – that’s actually a great question. There were a number of factors that stuck me with that sOB.
When he was sewing me up, he said “oh, quit crying, next time you can have a VBAC!” so I thought he’d support my choice.
Also, before I got more informed, I thought that my chances of ending up with another cesarean were almost 100%, so I wanted to be with the same person who did such a pro-job at the last incision (you can tell by how great my incision looks that the man is very well-practiced at cutting people open.)
Lastly, when I realized toward the end of my pregnancy that he was NOT going to support my VBAC, and that HE was the reason I had a cesarean in the first place, my insurance told me it was too late to switch providers. I tried contacting everyone in the area even to pay out of pocket, but many places told me they couldn’t take me at 37 weeks pregnant. I was stuck with him.
That’s when I hired a doula, and hoped that I’d labor at home so fast that I wouldn’t have time to get to the hospital. Then, I went into labor at work, far from home, and that plan was shot.
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Well, you certainly had everything stacked against you. Gotta love insurance companies. I was thinking it must have felt really AWESOME to prove him wrong right in his face, though I suppose it probably didn’t have much impact on him from the way it sounds like he practices.
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YES!!! Oh i love you.
I first found out about natural birth watching House of Babies on TLC. It was the ONLY show that I didn’t see epidurals, or c-sections. Both of which I knew I didn’t want.
When we moved to connecticut, I looked up birth centers in the area, but the closest one to me was 2 hours away. My next decision was interviewing a homebirth midwife.
That was how I had my first and second baby.
As far as classes go, I first took Hypnobirthing – the mongan method. Which is a program for using Hypnosis in birth. I don’t know how much they’ve updated since ’06, but all I got was a couple of cd’s and a book that taught me nothing about birth or interventions, really anything other than guided meditation. At the end of the pregnancy I was frantically looking for other options and that’s when I found Hypnobabies. Their book is thick, and detailed. Tells you how the uterus works, what dilation is of course, how the baby turns to get out. About interventions, risks and benefits, things for the birth partner to better help you. Then there’s the added benefit of the Hypnosis. And it’s not just guided imagery. It’s medical hypnosis, with eyes open techniques so you don’t have to just lie there.
I’ll tell you what, I learned SO MUCH through their program I flew to California and trained to be an instructor because I wanted OTHER women to have what I got. lol So I may be a bit biased here but they’re the bomb.
They gave me such confidence that I knew what was best for my body and baby in regards to a healthy normal birth.
When I had to have my third baby at the hospital, I did end up getting an epidural after 36 hours on pit, and maybe 2-3 hours of sleep in 3 days. I was ti-red. And I hated every minute of the epidural.
They induced me at 35 weeks, after an eventful pregnancy. Scared me about low fluids >4 level, and about stillbirth and cord compression. pumped me full, then wanted to break my water as part of the induction. tell me HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE??? Didn’t think it did so I refused until about 6 hours before her birth.
They also wanted to use cytotec, said they didn’t have cervidil. So I said no, and opted for a foley bulb for dilation on condition that my water WOULD NOT be broken on insertion.
I also was on pit those two days. My contractions were crazy, but she just floated peacefully in her bubble. Her heartrate was beautiful. I think if I’d had more sleep the nights previous I would have been able to go longer on the pit without the epi. Thankfully it was a low-dose so I could still move my legs and pee on my own (in a bed pan)
Anyway. I asked that all my nurses be natural birth friendly, and we got blessed with each one we had (minus one witch). The last nurse I told her that I felt she was coming out. I told her that I’d prefer that we call the team in as the head was born, and that’s EXACTLY what she did. <3 LOVE her.
She acted like it was all urgent and had happened so fast. lmao.
Sorry. I rambled. But yes. I think that being educated definitely gave me the knowledge and the confidence to have the births MY way.
mommymichael´s last blog ..Deployment Weekly Recap
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I love House of Babies. The minute I became pregnant I thought of that show and found a little freestanding birth center to have my daughter at. I wish TLC continued that series!
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You are so inspirational. I feel deeply grateful for having found your blog. You are fighting a very worthy battle.
I labored for two days and pushed for six and a half hours at a birthing center in order to have my daughter. I did a home hypnobabies course and have a midwife come to my apartment for a birthing session with me and my husband. As long as my unmedicated labor was, I too was able to nurse my child without a problem and I could take care of her when I got home. We had very little help and I am sure that it would have been far worse for us if I had a “quick” epidural and pitocin birth.
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Thank you That was very kind.
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I also read all the stories from the series that new mama posted and noticed the pattern. It makes absolute sense to me that if you are PLANNING a natural birth you should PLAN for it in every way you can.
That being said, I’m going to admit something. I had a (luckily, very very luckily) good birth experience with my first – the experience I wanted – even though it was hospitalized and I had an epidural. I was one of those women who was very scared of birth and avoiding pain was one of my main concerns. With my current pregnancy, I’ve started to consider having a different birth experience. I have several friends who see the same OB practice as I do who have had wonderful, unmedicated, natural births (using both Bradley and Hypnobirthing) and it’s got me thinking. But the truth is, if I prepare myself as much as I know I should – take the classes, read the books, really really plan for a natural birth – and end up not being able to handle it I know I’ll be horribly disappointed. What if all the breathing and relaxing and soft music in the world can’t stop me from needing some pain relief? I would be a lot of women feel that way; that it’s better to not get our hopes up and “whatever happens, happens”.
I hope you don’t see me as trying to cause trouble – I’m just hoping to shed some light on where those women might be coming from.
Suzanne´s last blog ..Friday Flotsam
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Your opinion is always welcome. I get what you’re saying, but I see more women regret what they didn’t know than regret what they do. If you really WANT an unmedicated birth, then according to the Bradley method, you have a 90% chance of getting that with their course. Aren’t those odds worth taking? Also, I almost never hear of women who had uncomplicated, unmedicated vaginal births regret that experience. As they say in The Business of Being Born “it’s like flipping a light switch and going to the moon.” The benefits of natural birth (a more alert baby, natural oxytocin rushes) can be worth it for many women.
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I just thought I’d drop this in here, as my experience might be helpful to you. I took the Bradley class with my husband before the birth of our 1st daughter. I am the statistic that didn’t end up with an unmedicated birth. I did everything I could, was VERY educated (I am an RN and had been a birth assistant at the birthing center I pkanned to deliver at, etc) I ended up with an epidural after 36 hours of labor, and had a vaginal birth after 42 hours. I have regrets about that birth, but I at least feel that the mistakes that caused me an extended labor were not mine. I also know that if I had been cared for by an OB I’d have ended up with an epidural, and C-section almost from the start. I was able to make the decisions along the way with my husbands help. I avoided narcotics, and remember my daughter being born. I felt disappointed, but not defeated about that birth. My class had EVERYTHING to do with having had the best possible birth.
And BTW, 2 years later, almost to the day, I had my second daughter at the birth center…9lbs 8oz, and went home 4 hours later with no repairs needed. Bradley makes a huge difference (or whatever classes you choose). You DO NOT need to just go along because you are afraid. Get educated and make the decisions on YOUR TERMS. You won’t be dissapointed in yourself. I promise.
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I, too, took the Bradley course of classes and gave birth to both of my children naturally. My son, who was born in a birthing center, literally had no interventions whatsoever. My daughter, however, who was born in a hospital, had Pitocin and I can honestly tell you that if anyone tried to put that stuff in my veins again, they’d have a fight on their hands. Having experienced birth both ways, I can tell you that no intervention birth is much easier and more manageable.
My children are now teenagers, but I still strongly believe that the way I gave birth to them changed my life in so many beautiful and wonderful ways
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Oh boy, Bonnie, do I know what you mean about Pitocin! When I told the Dr. I didn’t want Pitocin in my second birth, he said “Oh, Pitocin isn’t so bad.” I looked him dead in the face and said “Okay, YOU get an IV of Pitocin then I’ll do it. Let me know how that works out for you.” He chuckled and said “well, I don’t think it would do that much to MY cervix.”
Ha haa asshole! Laugh all you want, but when I came down to labor time, I told him I’d be calling lawyers if he put that crap in me again! Ugh. Pitocin. *shudder*
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That really made me laugh and good for you. We have a similar story except it’s about one of those monitors they screw into the baby’s head. My husband told the midwife if he wanted to put it in my daughter’s head, she would have to screw one into hers first. That ended that idea! If she had listened to me and done an ultrasound, she would have known that my daughter’s hand was over her head (I felt her fingers) and wouldn’t have been surprised by it during labor.
Any whoo, I love your blog! Keep up the great work. Even though I am far from ever having another baby, I think the discussion is important for those younger than myself. I’m also tired of being told I’m some kind of freak because I didn’t need medication during birth
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AMEN! People don’t understand how I can say natural labor isn’t so bad when I having my son was the WORST experience of my life & I didn’t have a natural birth… it’s easy… I was in labor for 3 days… the first day, natural… then I made the mistake of going to the hospital… and the next 2 days were miserable. I wouldn’t have described a contraction as ‘painful’ until AFTER THE PITOCIN STARTED… and then it was almost instantly, excruciatingly painful. I still went the next 2 days without an epidural, but I will honestly say that while on day 1 I could walk off the contractions… the pitocin ones, oh I SUFFERED through those. I’m totally with you TFB… DON’T BRING THAT STUFF NEAR ME THIS BIRTH. I would rather labor for 5 days without pit than for 5 hours with it.
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Yes! How is it you say exactly what I want to tell the world?
It’s been almost a year since I gave birth to my first child. I planned and PREPARED for a natural birth. I read a lot of childbirth books. (Not as many as I have now since I joined the “birth junkie” club.) I hired a doula. I took a 6-week Birthing From Within class, which was absolutely amazing by the way. I wrote a birth plan. And yes, I got the birth I wanted.
EVERY single woman I know who “tried” for a natural birth but didn’t get one followed this plan: read nothing besides maybe “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” maybe took a hospital birth class, showed up at the hospital. That’s it.
It’s not enough to give lip service to “try” for a natural birth. You have to PREPARE. There are many things in life you have to prepare for such as running a marathon. (And no one questions the necessity of preparing for that.) Why should birth (one of the most physically challenging experiences a woman can go through) be any different? Sure, someone who wants to run a marathon without any preparation or training may get lucky and succeed, but chances are that person won’t make it and if they do, it will probably be a pretty horrible experience compared to the person who did prepare and train.
You can’t just “see how it goes” with birth, especially with many providers NOT providing evidence-based care. There are a lot of things you can’t control/predict during birth, but there are MANY you can. Good preparation is definitely WORTH it, even if things don’t go exactly the way you planned, you can at least know you were an active participant in your birth, instead of a passive patient.
For the record, I am not anti-interventions (including epidurals) WHEN THEY ARE NEEDED. It’s the routine and overuse of interventions that I am vehemently opposed to. Women deserve informed consent (and refusal) and evidence-based care. The system needs to change, and it needs to change now. I wish more women would realize they can make a difference, in how their own births go and in how their voice can make a difference for someone else.
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I LOVE the marathon analogy (I wish I was smart enough to think of that!) That’s exactly it. This is the hardest work a woman will ever do in her life. You’d NEVER take on a task like this without being prepared – so how is birth supposed to happen naturally without preparation?
I think many women think Epidurals and Physicians are like the cars that will just drive them to the finish line. Unfortunately, the route those drivers take isn’t a route most people want to take!
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Rixa at Stand and Deliver did a great post about the marathon analogy a while back – a great read: http://rixarixa.blogspot.com/2007/07/labor-and-marathons.html
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That’s the same analogy I use to explain why the ‘laboring women can’t eat’ policy is ABUSE. When someone starts in on how ‘it’s in mom’s best interest’ I tell them to run a 2 day marathon with nothing more than ice chips & tell me how well it goes.
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Excellent post! I love it.
Reading and being informed isn’t going to change everything but it will certainly point you in the right direction and arm you with coping strategies and knowledge so you make informed decisions.
I took Birthing From Within classes for both my pregnancies and also prenatal yoga. Both were so valuable. The yoga taught me how to relax even in the midst of physical exertion and the BFW class/book taught me that the most important thing is to face all of your fears ahead of time because no matter how many coping techniques you know and use, there will come a time in labour where you are scared shitless and overwhelmed and don’t know what to do and if you haven’t already dealt with your fears, you will certainly panic and begin to trust anyone who tells you that they can save you. Both my children were born at home.
Alison´s last blog ..Are YOU awesome?
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I can tell you, quite briefly, that if I hadn’t done my own research and reading and had midwives and an acquaintance who successfully had a HBAC, I may have very well ended up with another c-section. At the very least I would have been in the hospital against my wishes. Therefore, I am so glad I educated myself on the very real and reachable goal of a home birth after cesarean.
Melodie´s last blog ..Vegetarian Foodie Fridays: Lotus Land Linguine
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I was a very young mother (21) but educated myself as much as possible. I had and amazing, intervention free, water birth.
My midwife was so excited about one statement I made, and I want to share it with you guys.
“I had the birh I WANTED!! Everyone told me I needed to be flexible and compromise… BUT I DIDN’T!”
That I may get an episitomy, an epidural, a c-section, my water broken artificially, etc. etc. I educated myself and my birth went EXACTLY how I planned because I TOOK STEPS to make it work out that way. Not all births go like that, but they should! If you want a natural, vaginal birth, don’t give birth in a hospital. If you don’t want an episiotomy, don’t hire a doctor that “only gives them when necessary” but happens to have an 85% rate. Educate yourelf about what is acceptable to you and what is not. Then hire a care provider that will respect your wishes!
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Fantastic post! I think that medical interventions are wonderful, when they ARE needed. I took a 12 week Bradley Method class– that, hiring a doula, and choosing a supportive midwife, were the best choices I have ever made. I started having contractions at 4pm and labored at home until 10pm. By the time I got to the hospital, I was already 8 cm dilated and successfully delivered my little one, med-free, by 1am. I really think that if I hadn’t taken my natural birth class, I would have freaked out at the first sign of a contraction and rushed to the hospital– which as we know, would more than likely increase my chances of having interventions.
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Great minds think alike Thank you so much for linking to my recent MyBestBirth article about the same issue! I really appreciate it.
I sometimes get criticized when I encourage women to be more educated about birth. Take a look at the comments I got about this post: http://www.nycmomsblog.com/2010/02/natural-birth-duggar-style.html. Oye!
I think those women really feel like they were informed and things didn’t go their way, that’s why they feel criticized. Like you said, taking a 12-week birthing class doesn’t hurt and can only help in the process. By delving that deeply into what actually happens during birth, you know you did what you could even if you don’t get the birth you want. I guess women get a little miffed when I ask them to take more responsibility for their health and the health and birth experience of their baby.
YES, question EVERYTHING you are told. As you illustrate in your post so eloquently, there are so many interventions that are not needed and actually can be harmful. Be your best advocate, no one else will be!
Best,
Dagmar
Dagmar’s momsense
Dagmar Bleasdale´s last blog ..Sheep Shearing and Sweatpants Instead of Blogging
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I have just recently found you via a friend and already I love you! This post gives me so many flashbacks to the discussions my friends and I had back when we were all having our babies.
I had all three of my babies at home with the best midwife ever, her assistant and my husband. I knew when I got pregnant that I would not be having the standard, medically assisted birth that nearly 90% of the women ended up having in our local hospital. Luckily, I stumbled upon The Bradley Method book and despite not having access to the classes I learned everything I could from the books in those pre-internet days.
Good thing too, because if I had been in the hospital when my first baby was born I most certainly would have been pressured to be induced and probably would have had a c section too. My son was well overdue, at least by 2 weeks, I had several hours of labor each night for a week, then during labor on the real night;) my midwife determined that even though I was at the pushing stage, my son’s head was not at the opening of my uterus and that was why I was still only a few centimeters dilated. My uterus was tipped back and while my son was in the right position my uterus was not;)
She told me NOT to push when I had the contractions so that the baby would move towards the cervix and that was maybe the most difficult thing I have ever had to do, before or since! But the deep breathing and total relaxation helped me handle it and I didn’t push for about a half hour. When she said to push, it took me a bit to get it right but finally my son was born and my midwife handed the baby to us. She didn’t tell us if it was a boy or girl and we were able to discover that ourselves; another bit of the birth experience that has been hijacked by physicians imho.
My son was perfect although his head was a bit pointy from being in the birth canal for so long, and he was also a bit wrinkly from being overdue, he nursed successfully within minutes, I had no tearing, no medication. I trusted my instincts, which were that all would be fine, despite being told by so many friends and family members that I was taking a huge risk by having a home birth and also for “letting it go past the due date”.
I always tell anyone that I know who is having a baby about The Bradley Method, but alas, I have not been able to get anyone to seriously consider using it. It seems like so women just assume that they will need some sort of medical intervention for their births, and well, then of course that is exactly what they will get. Giving birth naturally was so incredibly empowering to me and I feel sad that many women are so quick to assume they can’t do it.
And sorry, I think I may have written a book here!
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Since having my daughter and being pregnant with my son (both natural births – the first I was lucky because I wasn’t particularly prepared) I’ve been interested in following other women’s pregnancy stories. I can practically predict which ones will end up in a c-section.
My sister-in-law is pregnant with her first baby, due in July. She’s been diagnosed with borderline Gestational Diabetes and has been informed that she’ll be induced at 38 weeks. I worry for her.
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Amazing post and I agree with you 100%. Thank you for saying it.
The problem I had with the Bradley Method is that as a pregnant single woman I was unable to take the course because I didn’t have a husband/ coach. I think the same is true for women who do not have a supportive husband/ partner. There weren’t a lot of other options, class-wise, to take without a partner. I was lucky to have a great OB who was completely respectful of my wishes. Next time, if I can afford it, I will have a doula.
Cheers!
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Heyley, you’re right. That is a drawback. FTR there are other classes that don’t require a partner (Hypnobabies, CAPPA classes, Birthing From Within, etc.) If they exist in your area, definitely check those out. They’re all valuable in their own way.
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Hospital childbirth education classes-ugh. My husband and I went to one of these, and the teacher was sooooo wishy-washy about everything. I kept asking questions like “so what do you know about delayed cord clamping?” and I’d get “what do you think about that?” umm…I’m not the one teaching the class lady. But it was like she wasn’t allowed to say anything bad about any interventions, even c-section. sorry, cesarean birth. Big waste of time and money.
I had already done my research anyway. We really couldn’t afford a long class, neither did I have time for it, so I spent A LOT of time on the internet researching normal birth. In the end labor and birth were great- about 1.5 hours of painful labor total and my daughter was born 20 minutes after we got to the hospital. I don’t know if anything would have been different if I hadn’t educated myself, but I definitely think that a positive outlook is invaluable. By the end of my pregnancy I was seriously excited to see what labor would be like, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
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Great post.
just wanted to add that having a home birth greatly reduces your chances of ANY interventions taking place.
The more educated women are, the better.
Noel´s last blog ..Its Still Thursday
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Hello! I am new to your blog, just found you last week, and I’m so glad! My son is just 7 1.2 months old and I’m already looking forward to the next one and having a better birthing experience. I was 3 days over my “due date” and my ob called for an induction. HE wasn’t even going to be there, he had to have another doctor cover. THAT doctor flat out told me he didn’t think I could do it and that I was going to have a c-section. That pissed me off. Luckily my body started to progress and so quickly I went from 3-10cms in an hour. i did have the epidural, but I may as well not have because my body was moving so fast the epi wasn’t even working. Thankfully I had taken a 4 week course (not as good as bradley) and had my husband to help me. I successfully delivered a 9lb baby. It was a wonderfully exhilarting expereince, and while I’m thrilled about my perfectly healthy baby boy, I am still planning on doing things differently next time. It’s so nice to hear from moms like you who really understand!
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what a brilliant post. I’ve considered myself luck to have had such a great birth experience with my forst, but actually it wasn’t luck, it was preparation. Conversations with friends who had babies in the UK (my sister had a waterbirth with only gas and air, and few of my friends had epidurals or C sections) made me realize how different the philosophy was between the two countries (not that the UK is a model of perfect birth but it is better than the US, at least many areas are). I chose a hospital midwife for my care because that was my cultural norm. I alse had a good freind who had given birth a few years earler witha doula and her retelling of her birth story was the first time I had ever heard anyone speak so movingly about the beauty of a natural birth experience. I am indebted to her. I was lucky in that the hospital I chose, UCSF, is pretty progressive and has midwives on staff. My midwife recommended a doula and gave me a list of people she had worked with before. I took the hospitals “birth alternatives’ class, which focused on natural birth. I was encouraged to have a birth plan and recommended books like birthing from within and Ina Mays guide to childbirth (a book I pass on to all pregnant friends).
The births of my children were amazing. I told the stories here. http://geekymummy.blogspot.com/2008/08/birth-is-biology.html I honestly would love to give birth again. I became a different person, stronger and better, through childbirth. Every woman should feel the same (however her baby ends up coming out. There is a reason that C sections were embraced and celebrated, they do save lives when used judiciously and that shouldn’t be forgotten)
geekymummy´s last blog ..The little changes
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THANK YOU for this post. It is brilliant and right on, as usual.
Maybe on some level I was “lucky” or “fortunate” to have my totally natural birth. But I did EVERYTHING IN MY POWER to ensure it would go that way, and left nothing to chance beyond an extreme act of nature.
A year before even beginning trying to conceive, I read a comprehensive book on natural birth. Then another, and another. I read every book mentioned in every other book until I think I read all the biggies. And the second my pregnancy test showed positive, I started interviewing midwives. I knew I had a far, far better chance of having a satisfying (and natural birth) with one. Just based on my decade of experience with dismissive, disrespectful and cold OBGYN’s. If you can’t treat me like a human during a pap smear, I am NOT putting my birth in your hands.
I also took a 3-month hypnobirthing class, hired an awesome doula, watched documentaries, and meditated about the birth I wanted. I wrote a birth plan, I discussed my future birth AT LENGTH with my midwife, I dreamed about my birth. People constantly told me I’d never pull it off, that I’d be begging for the drugs. That pissed me off majorly because I knew they were wrong. There was no way I was not having the birth I wanted. I was not even allowing that possibility.
I started laboring, very gradually, on a Saturday, a week after my due date. By Sunday I was uncomfortable enough to have the midwife come over and check me. By dawn on Monday morning we decided to go to the hospital because I was 5 cm at home. I was fully dilated by 10am, and then proceeded to push for an exhausting 5 hours and 19 minutes. Pretty sure no doctor alive would have sat through that. Then at 3:19 pm I pulled my gorgeous baby out and brought her to my chest.
I’m not saying I had this awesome birth of my dreams ENTIRELY because I worked so hard. I would say my hard work accounted for 95% of it, and the other 5% was nature being on my side and no emergency cropping up. Which is why I believe MOST women should be able to have the experience I did, not a minority of them.
Preparation is (almost) EVERYTHING.
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WERD! I knew you’d sing it, sister!
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The Bradley Class might have been the best money I’ve ever spent. Yes, I was able to have an unmedicated first birth in a hospital and totally natural 2nd birth at home because of what I learned. But really, the thing it did was it got me LEARNING. Period. I didn’t know all people didn’t circumcise their baby boys – I heard it in my Bradley class. I didn’t know cry-it-out was bad for babies – I heard it in my Bradley class. Etcetera. I love that that class opened my eyes to the importance of being INTENTIONAL about all decisions related to parenting. Birth was just the beginning.
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I love that that class opened my eyes to the importance of being INTENTIONAL about all decisions related to parenting. Birth was just the beginning.
YES YES YES! Once the mind starts questioning everything we thought we knew, a whole new world is opened up to us!
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The most important thing I learned in Bradley class was to hire a doula…and so we did and that is why I got the birth I wanted.
I also learned a lot of other important things in Bradley class – about inward facing baby carriers, about breast feeding, about co-sleeping (or not, in our case).
Even if one disagrees with some of the beliefs a Bradley instructor espouses, as they say…..The More You Know….
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I was induced at 41w3d. I didn’t want to be induced – I’d already turned induction down twice before. But my OB kept scaring the crap out of me, and everyone else in my life kept texting day after day about when the baby was coming. I was so anxious that I finally consented to an induction, even though it didn’t feel right. I found out shorter after that my OB was not going to be on call that day – so I went into the induction feeling really scared.
But let me back up a bit. A friend and I discussed home birth at the beginning of my pregnancy. It felt like a good option for me, something I’d be interested in. But my friend said, “What if something happened?” And that was it for me. I signed up with an OB and a hospital birth, completely going against my instincts.
I didn’t make a birth plan because The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy suggested that the best way to handle it was to go for a “normal” birth (in the hospital, with an epidural, yadda yadda yadda), and that made sense to me. Plus, all over the place, mothers were telling me to “just get the epidural.” I took the classes the hospital offered but that was it.
So even though I am a very intelligent and highly educated woman, I went about my son’s birth with as much naivete as a 12-year-old. I figured that my body knew what to do, and besides, all I really wanted was the baby. It didn’t matter how he came into the world.
I was wrong. So very, very wrong.
My induction failed. I went in at 1cm dilated 60% effaced. They started Cytotec and then Pitocin. I couldn’t handle the Pitocin so I got an epidural, which didn’t work. I had no way of coping with the pain, so I pushed when I felt the urge, and of course I screamed, screamed, screamed. I honestly thought I was going to die. I was so scared. All the pushing got my cervix swollen, my labor stalled at 7cm, and the doctor told me that I wasn’t going to progress any more. I happily consented to a C-section, because I just couldn’t deal with the pain any more. I was put under general anesthesia because my epidural didn’t work. So both my husband and I missed the birth of our son. And that has been so awful to deal with.
Because of my C-section, I was unable to bond with my son for the first couple of months. I couldn’t breast feed and I got NO support from the LLL when I called – instead I got a lot of judgment for having to give my son formula – all I wanted was to figure out how to get him to latch! I gave up on it completely after that phone call, figuring that something had to give – I was so miserable. I ended up with PPD, and I also ended up re-dealing with sexual abuse from my past that was brought up by my birth experience.
My son turns 1 in 10 days, and I am 17 weeks pregnant with baby #2. This time I am planning a VBAC with a midwife at a birth center. We will begin Bradley classes in less than two months, and my birth center also offers Hypnobabies. I refuse to go into the hospital unless I absolutely have to, because I know the likelihood of my having a VBAC will go way down. I refuse to casually put my health (and my baby’s) into the hands of someone who wants to make it home by 5:00. Been there, done that. It didn’t work out.
I have struggled so much this year and am finally beginning to come out of my funk. I cannot believe how naive I was a mere year ago; I am so not the same person. And that’s a good thing.
Leslie´s last blog ..One Year Ago
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Gina, this is an awesome post! See how motivating frustration can be? I was a 2-time victim/example of what not doing the “work” will get you. Unfortunately I did go to a Bradley class, twice so it’s not a guarantee, I guess I’m the 10% who need “extra” work. I’ve finally written those 2 birth stories on my blog now 9 and 7 years later! (www.theethologicmom.blogspot.com) The good news is that I was fortunate to get a third chance – a beautiful natural vba2c that was a direct result of my preparation, determination and faith in myself, without compromise! Those lessons have made me a better woman, mom, wife…Me!
Jen´s last blog ..A mother of a birth story – love and pain
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I took a 6-week childbirth class, which was independent of the hospital. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to finish the class, as I delivered prematurely. However, the support techniques that my partner had learned were actually very helpful.
For me, personally, the birth class wasn’t what I would call terribly helpful. However, I read voraciously during pregnancy. Books like Henci Goer’s, and Ina May Gaskin’s “Spiritual Midwifery”, and many others. I sought out midwifery care, as well, and I am in Canada so there were also some differences there. I walked into that class very well-informed already, and having sought out a care provider who also valued natural birth. My husband, not so much. So the classes ended up being more for him.
Amber´s last blog ..I Can’t Believe I’m Talking about Epidurals
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I’m just not sure where I fit into all of this. Even with a doula, a Bradley certified husband, and my heart set on a natural birth, my baby did not come naturally. I did everything I could for 30 hours after naturally occurring ROM (8 hours of which at 9cm) before getting the spinal and the section. I am lost without a community of women like myself who consider their birth education a double-edged sword; because of my labor training I was equipped with the knowledge I needed to accept that my body was refusing the process, but also equipped with the knowledge that I should be able to complete this natural process. Is too much knowledge a bad thing? I don’t know. What I do know is that I fear future births because I don’t ever want another section, and I don’t know what in the world I could possibly do differently. I LOVE my 10 month old daughter, Azalea Ruby, like CRAZY, and I want her to have siblings, but it’s really difficult for me to start thinking about another pregnancy. Are there other women who feel like me?
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Bethany – I know that many women feel like you. Like others have said – no preparation can guarantee you the birth, but at least you KNOW your situation was necessary, rather than always wondering whether you’d be cheated. All the knowledge you have now will help you make the best choices *YOU* can with *YOUR* circumstances. Nothing is guaranteed, we just have to do our best to remain in control of our own situation, and hope that our body doesn’t have other plans.
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Yes!! I do. I had a midwife, natural birth classes, and a baby that took days to get to position, but by that time I had a swollen cervix and needed a hospital transfer for pain relief, and ended in a section. Labour was so long, and so hard… I’m working on reclaiming my story, because even though my body rebelled against me, I had a wonderful support team and don’t think we could have done anything differently. And post-care, even after the surgery, was very mother-baby focussed and caring. I’m 7.5 months pregnant and, like I said, trying to reclaim, to feel positive and trust again that this time it’ll be easier! I’m stacking the deck for a good experience, seeing a baby chiro to get baby in position *before* I go into labour, and hiring a doula, and going to the same hospital as before just in case we have a medical issue, but my doula and the hospital have good VBAC rates. So. We’ll see. At least this time, as with the last, I’ll know that everyone will work for me and my needs, and try to avoid surgery. But scared? Yes.
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similar story here – planned a homebirth with an independent midwife who has a 3% caesar rate, laboured for 32 hours at home and then in hospital but never got beyond 3cm despite syntocinon (pitocin), emergency caesar because the baby started to show signs of distress (and i was exhausted) at 6am by the registrar who was on duty (crooked scar but i don’t mind). i am still so sad that i didn’t get the homebirth i so desperately wanted despite being exceptionally well prepared and informed.
but the only thing that i am really angry about (as opposed to sad) is that the hospital separated me from my perfectly healthy baby for two hours (pph on the table and then the block took a long time to come down so was stuck in recovery for over an hour – there was no reason the baby couldn’t come into recovery other than the hospital’s stupid rules). luckily he somehow stayed awake all that time and latched beautifully (though i reckon my good breastfeeding experience was as much about preparation as well – but that’s a whole other discussion).
6 months pregnant now and will try for a vbac at home – wish me luck! because all the preparation and information gathering is well taken care of.
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Hi, I’m a lurker. But I wanted to say thank you. I’m pretty sure I’m years away from any (planned) children unless circumstances change but what I have learned from the birth experiences of friends and family compared to the different things I’ve read on your site and others is amazing.
One of my sisters had 3 c-sections. I was told her first just wouldn’t drop after she’d been in labor for a while so she had a section. The other two were scheduled c-sections because “that’s what you do after you have one c-section.” Another sister was going to ASK to be induced not long after her due date passed. She did go in to labor on her own and had an epi but when I asked her about it she says “the doctors know best” and she would have trusted them for whatever. My twin sister was in the hospital for an induction one week after her due date but went into labor after they gave her something that wasn’t pitocin. (Cervadil, maybe? I’m an uninformed newbie.) She wanted to avoid an epidural but ended up with one anyway. And an episiotomy + a lot of tearing. She’s already looking into a midwife assisted birth for her next and possibly even a home birth if she can find a provider.
Those last two sisters were 2 of 5 women I know who were first time mothers past this year. Another was induced 3 days BEFORE her due date because “her baby was big.” She ended up with a c-section and a 9lb 13oz baby. Another was induced ONE DAY after her due date (another suspected big baby), had no epidural, and birthed a 9lb 8ozish baby. The fifth I don’t have many details for but I believe she had an unmedicated hospital birth 4 days after her due date.
I don’t believe my sister who says she wanted a natural birth or any of the other women I just listed took any sort of birthing class outside of the “traditional” 8 hour classes or maybe a Lamaze class. Maybe. And some definitely trusted their doctor to make the right decision for them without question.
My own mother has told me that c-sections aren’t major surgery. And she had two, one with twins. Two of my sisters believe they should just trust whatever the doctor says. And I’ve realized that so many people view their due date as an expiration date. So for me to be able to read and learn that there are TONS of women who give birth with midwives, who have no pitocin, no epidurals, no episiotomies, no monitoring, water births, varying birthing positions- ALL of this– is very inspiring and eye-opening. I will not be uninformed or a passive “spectator” whenever I do finally get to have children.
So again, thank you to you and all of the other women here who share their experiences and are dedicated to educating other women. If it weren’t for you I’d still believe that everyone should give birth in a hospital with an epidural while lying flat on their back to push because THAT is how many people perceive what a “normal” birth should be.
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Allie, you are so lucky to be educated before you venture in pregnancy and birth. It’s refreshing that there are open minded and well read young women like you. Now please stear your peers in the same direction. We desperately need to change the norm.
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I credit my planning for getting the birth I wanted. I read. I researched. I talked to friends and family. I interviewed providers. I got my husband on board. We kept family and friends off of our backs. We took a Bradley course, hired a midwife, and stayed home. It was our first and I feel very fortunate that I was able to learn from others’ regrets and just avoided the hospital all together. I knew I wanted an unmedicated birth and I knew I wanted the best birth I could have, so staying home was the only way I felt I could ensure that.
Of course, I have to give a LOT of credit to chance. I was very lucky in that I had a healthy pregnancy. I am a healthy woman. And I faced no known complications in the months leading up to my daughter’s birth. For all of that, I am incredibly grateful.
I did have a stubborn placenta and big bleed immediately postpartum, but my skilled, experienced midwife handled it like a pro. If things had really hit the fan, we had a hospital a 2 minute car drive away (thank you, big city!). We were fortunate that we didn’t need it.
I’m working toward my Lamaze certification now and hope to inspire other women to consider ALL of their options. After all, “if you don’t know your options, you don’t have any,” right? I thought about certifying with Bradley, but I didn’t want to teach only a self-selecting population of natural birth adherents. Hopefully, through Lamaze, I can reach and inspire women who would have otherwise just “gone with it.” And even if my students all end up in hospitals with epidurals, I hope they do so only after making a thoughtful, informed decision to go down that road. After all, everyone’s “ideal” birth is not the same.
Jo @ Parenting Poppy´s last blog ..Want to Help NYC’s Homebirth Midwives? We Still Need You!
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I know what you mean – with my CAPPA classes I hope to reach the population of women who may have been more like I was the first time. I don’t want to preach to the choir, so I hope to snag some of the ladies who don’t yet know the benefits of natural birth. But I also hope to offer something to the women who are already believers, and just need that extra bit of inspiration.
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Another terrific post (hopefully, without breaking the internet this time)
Would you mind adding to your post that “The Business of Being Born,” “Orgasmic Birth,” and “Born in the USA” are all available for rent from Netflix? (BOBB even as an instant download)
~Z
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Oops! Correction. “Born in the USA” is not available anymore (it was an instant download for awhile) Netflix does have “Pregnant in America”
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I had the “head knowledge” with my first birth but not the empowerment I needed to fight the system. I understood how birth worked but I couldn’t let go of the lie of how our entire culture approached birth. It took me basically my entire pregnancy, until 38 weeks, to realize that my doctor was in fact full of shit. And at that point I ran to another practice thinking “Anybody is better than this crazy guy!” and found out too late that they didn’t have my best interest at heart, either. I was able to overcome a poor post-cesarean start to my breastfeeding relationship and THAT was a very empowering experience that allowed me to slowly gain faith in my body and what it could do. Still, it was hard to let go of that innocence that doctors always knew best. It was sobering because if doctors DIDN’T know best, that put the burden on me. But with the help of my ICAN sisters, I eventually got there, and now that I’m there, in the light of the truth is where I want to be.
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reading this post makes me so happy. I think i know the person you were speaking of and while reading those posts i kept thinking the same thing. that mention of the Bradley class was my introduction into informing myself about getting everything i wanted out of the experience.
i now am in the last weeks of the class and could not have made a better choice. i just hired a doula and am looking forward to the birth experience i’ve been wanting. especially knowing it took me 6yrs to conceive.
many friends and family think i’m crazy for going through all these things but when it comes down to it i know that i am making the right choice.
Thanks!!
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I totally agree. Ughh. I wish I hadn’t done the hospital birth class. It was so awful that I think I’ll have a hard time convincing my husband to come with me for a “real” birth class next time.
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I’m a newbie to your blog but I love it so far and I LOVE this post and agree 100%! My cousin’s OB was going to induce her the day after her EDD because he was going to a conference!
I am a “planner” and when I got pregnant quite accidentally I found myself trying to do the research along the way but found I really wished I had done it BEFORE I got pregnant.
My research started here: http://www.birthingnaturally.net/barp/main.html
And it made me pick up “Birth as an American Rite of Passage” (side note: the author is interviewed in Business of being Born) and I read it and realized that most of the interventions and “routine” things done in hospital births were for the benefit and comfort of the OBs and nurses and NOT the baby & momma. I was SHOCKED. And then I read more (I couldn’t stop) and saw THE movie! (business of being born) and I was even more shocked at everything I had taken for granted as the way “things were”. And we took a class and it was very “this is how its going to be” (i.e., medicalized). And when the instructor said “and for internal monitors, they just attach this to the baby’s head” – I gasped! and no one questioned any of it. I was appalled.
So late in the game I got a midwife, a doula and I had my baby at home – the birth I wanted – in 4.5 hours. I didn’t take the Bradley course (I don’t even know if its offered here in Canada?), but I read everything I could get my hands on and had an awesome doula. And even though this was my first baby (10 months old girl now) – I BELIEVED in myself so much that I never thought it would be any other way. The mental preparation really helps but so does knowing what is going on and what our rights really are.
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Thank you for writing this and all of your birth advocacy. My first (and only) birthing experience was like yours. I was past my due date, induced, and then cut open. I was bummed. I was robbed of the experience I wanted of holding my son skin-to-skin immediately after and donating my cord blood. My husband was even robbed of cutting the cord. I do feel duped partially by a system set up for the convenience of doctors, but more importantly, because I didn’t trust my body. I was scared of child birth. I thought I would give natural a go but did not trust my body enough to commit to it. My fear and lack of education won out. My family lost out. Through breastfeeding I have learned to trust my body and about the challenges it can overcome and the joy it can experience. I am committed to my next birth being natural. I am very excited about it actually. I feel like it will right a wrong against my body and spirit.
Brooke´s last blog ..How many times have we been through this…breastfeeding is not gross!
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Not only is this post amazing — I’ve tweeted and linked to it on Facebook — I’m also finding so many new great people to follow on Twitter from this post! Thank you!
Dagmar Bleasdale´s last blog ..Sheep Shearing and Sweatpants Instead of Blogging
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My community runs a new mom and baby group. One of the topics is about birth. The facilitator asked who was truly prepared for birth. There were 40 women or so. Only myself and my friend put up our hands. I was shocked. At the time it made me very sad about my c-section. I was the prepared one and I didn’t get the birth I want. Twice I (and my husband) worked very hard for a vaginal birth. And twice it didn’t happen. I am at peace with it now. My midwife said to me both times “Kristin I don’t think this baby is going to come through the door. You might want think about a window.” I don’t know why my body couldn’t get the job done. I will likely never know. But I did everything I could have.
Kristin Glasbergen´s last blog ..Size Does Matter
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Yes yes yes!! 12 weeks of Bradley not only helped my husband and I become closer, it saved me from a ceserean birth!
Id love to explain!
We finished our course, more determined than ever to birth naturally! We were planning an OB/hospital birth and were ok with that!
So long story short- took in my birth plan to a prenatal visit- Dr looked at me (who was supportive up to this point about natural birth) “Why did you come to me if you didn’t want my help-patients like you tie our hands behind our backs- you should have gone to an midwife at a birth center if THATS the kind of birth you wanted”- I was hysterical. But thats what I did.
I was 36 weeks pregnant. One more week and I would have had fewer choices. So, needless to say- I had a 36 hour birth where I spent th efirst 24 hours contracting hard and not progressing, no doubt would have been a ceserean. But in the hands of a patient midwife, it was a beautiful, empowering, water birth! Then followed by a blissful homebirth 2 years later.
Childbirth Education is preventative medicine! No doubt! My experience also pushed me into my work as a doula and childbirth educator! Helping empower other women, and pull back the veil on obstetrics in america!
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It’s not very often I read an article I wish I had written. Excellent job of laying out the facts without laying blame on women themselves. Makes me grateful all over again that I was so fortunate during my first pregnancy: by lucky accident I ended up with an ob/gyn who’d trained with midwives in the UK and was very supportive of natural birth. (I was smart enough to skip the hospital’s birth class, and read a lot, but that was about it for preparation.) Thanks to him, and a wonderful nurse, I ended up avoiding an epidural in a hospital where the rate ran around 95% (I later found out). Still, being in hospital was less than optimal, and when I discovered there were midwives in our area, we opted for home births with #2 and #3. And once you do that, you never go back!
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Thank you so much – I am going to save this post for sharing in the future. So well-written, and exactly the message I tried to convey when people questioned my intentions of a natural birth.
I took a Bradley class, and though it was expensive and time-consuming, it was so worth it. I also read the books and watched the documentaries and took in as much knowledge as I could. It worked – I had a very successful and empowering intervention-free birth center birth in March.
And now I will be following your blog.
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I avoided having interventions by having a home birth. I know this isn’t the only way of achieving that goal, but I really didn’t feel like fighting with anyone while I was in labor. I had a great birth experience and was pleased with my decisions overall.
I read a couple of books that really helped to prepare me. One was Active Birth by Janet Balaskas. The other was Ina May’s Guide to Child Birth. One phrase from Ina May especially continues to stick with me: “Your body is not a lemon.”
We are built to do this, so we should have faith in ourselves!
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Great, great post TFB! I did not take any childbirth classes BUT I did read everything I could get my hands on including a Bradley book. I also didn’t hire a doula but like a previous commenter said, I’m an introvert. I was more comfortable teaching myself and being alone during labor. I have NO doubt in my mind that education helped me achieve my natural birth. I worked HARD. I read, I meditated, I practiced visualization, breathing techniques and did exercises every single day to prepare myself for labor. I have seen many friends announce they will be “attempting” a natural birth and end up with an epidural, and not one of them put in any of the work I did.
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This is how I feel about my efforts- I do tend to be a solitary person, so even though I knew a doula would be helpful in labor, it took me a while to decide to have one. I also invited my mother to be at the birth so that she could take pictures, even though I wasn’t sure I wanted her there. I read Ina May and Gloria Lemay, and every other midwife blog I could find and exercised my whole pregnancy so that I would be healthy and fit for labor.
My mind must have known what would be good for me, though, because when I did go into labor it was almost 12 midnight and I didn’t want to call anyone in case it was a false alarm- my mother didn’t make it and my doula was only there for the last 20 minutes while I was pushing…even my husband was asleep most of the time, so I was able to be alone and labor by myself, which I guess is just what I needed.
the last 3 babies that were born to women in my prenatal water class were c-section. The last 3!! I tried to talk to them about natural birth, but got pretty much the same from everyone- “I don’t want to plan too much because you can’t predict what will happen anyway”. blah blah. No, you can’t. But you can give yourself the best chance possible by being prepared!! Sometimes I just want to scream that at people.
But that’s why I don’t have a blog. haha.
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It’s really all about the education and getting yourself informed.
It is actually *not safe* for you to just write off birth and hand yourself over to the authorities. Unfortunately modern obstetrics are not practicing mother-friendly baby-safe birthing practices and are not practicing evidence based medicine. The birth world sits in the dark ages….UNTIL…..
….we the kick-ass, informed women take control of our experience and one of the main ways we do that is get ourselves educated and informed. I want you to have your choice of how you give birth but I want you to know what your choosing. Get informed! Get educated! Get yourself the birth you want!
hillary´s last blog ..hillaryboucher: RT @danielscocco Interview: 9 Women Entrepreneurs Show How It Is Done http://bit.ly/chAtPk
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Great post. It is so important for women to be informed and take charge of their own births (and health in general!). Being supportive of birth choices is one of the best things we can do for each other (for me that includes informed choices to use a “higher risk minded” OB or have an induction or plan a Cesarean if that’s what you want).
What breaks my heart (as you’ve pointed out here) is when women who want a vaginal, unmedicated birth are frightened into something else or frightened into beginning interventions that domino ultimately to surgery.
Unfortunately, our birth industry is very geared towards surgery for first time moms. (Because they don’t know as much, don’t know their bodies, are scared and of course want everything to go well). And because first time births take longer and are harder a lot of the time.
Book! Sorry. I’ll just add that the reason I say this is that I’ve had three unmedicated vaginal births and they were all wonderful experiences. But, my first birth was overseas in an environment that is very naturally and quietly set up to favor vaginal birth. I labored for over 36 hours and pushed for three hard hours. My baby was nine pounds. The next day, the family practitioner who delivered (an amazing guy, a family doctor who has been delivering babies for 30 years!) laughed in my room and said, “they just don’t let these kind of births happen in the States, you would have been an automatic c-section.”
I find that SO interesting because I was completely unprepared for the rigor of having that baby. I was scared, tired and overwhelmed and if they had lost faith or told me that I couldn’t do it, I would have believed them. But, I also believed them when they told me I could do it.
My second two births (in the States), I understood all of the things you describe very well and made careful choices including a midwife and a doula. Anyway, these stories and observations fascinate me. I consider myself very lucky that I haven’t had three surgeries.
Thanks for writing about this.
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Yes, yes yes! I couldn’t agree more with this post! I wanted an all-natural birth at home, had a doula and a midwife but i skipped on the classes, just read Spiritual Midwifery and watched Orgasmic Birth. When I ended up in hospital and the on-call OB wrote on my chart that I would likely need assistance to deliver, the story had already been scripted… I was augmented with pitocin (although I had been progressing fine but just slightly slowed down…) and low and behold, was told my baby wouldn’t fit in my pelvis and off to the OR I was… I caught up on the education since and I beg all the pregnant women I know to get the facts and understand what they may end up against… Had I known what i know now, nobody would have come near me with that pitocin drip! Protect your uterus! Defend your cervix!
Elo´s last blog ..Keeping moms and babies together after birth, even in the case of a surgical birth
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I can mostly agree with this posting…although I think it’s unfair to lay blame on people “doing more” when really, most birth experiences are only “planned” in hindsight! I ‘planned’ a natural childbirth. I didn’t know Bradley (or ANY) classes existed. My mother gave birth naturally, at home, with a midwife on 3 occasions. The first, a breech birth with a 12# 12oz, 24″ newborn. It was her second child, but first homebirth. That was followed 15 months later by an 11# birth, then 17 months later by a 10# birth.
She attended a Lamaze class in 1982…that was it. I couldn’t find one in 2003, when I discovered I was pregnant. I was the first person in my family to even give birth in over 15 years! My friends were all in college, none of them could show me how this “mommy” world worked! I didn’t even have a GYNO! The first time I sat on one of those exam tables with stirrups was when I was bout 9 or 10 weeks pregnant.
I knew I wanted a midwife, but couldn’t find one in my area. I did find one a *little* out of the way, but I ended up not really liking her…she just wasn’t a good fit. (Although, I later discovered “birth center” is code for “we have midwives here!”…no one tells you that when you are “exploring your options”.)
Anywho…I knew I didn’t want drugs. I didn’t know why, or why they were a bad idea…I just felt like I didn’t want to go that route. When I got to the hospital, I was told I didn’t have a choice. I wasn’t allowed to refuse them! Up to that point, my doctor had been very helpful & assured me a natural birth was going to be attainable. He lied. My rights were trampled, and I had no one to even tell me that until I discovered it on my own almost 2 years later.
I felt robbed…and when I read articles like this I go, “YES!! YES!! You’re right!” And then I think, “So, where were you 7 years ago?”
Maegan´s last blog ..Blog who?
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Maegan – one of the things I’d love to teach in my classes is that women DO have the right to refuse ANY treatment they don’t want. It’s totally against the law to force procedures on a woman. Unfortunately, most women don’t know their legal rights in the delivery room. I think any responsible birth education course should be teaching women informed consent.
I can’t help the fact that I wasn’t around 7 years ago – all I can do is talk about what I know now.
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I taught the phrase “I withdraw my consent” to my childbirth classes. I had them practice saying it. It really got everyone’s attention. Anything that is done to a woman after she speaks those words could be viewed legally as battery.
The hard part is believing, while in labor and under the influence of oxytocin- the powerful “trust” hormone- that what we know could be accurate when faced with the establishment.
This is why women need to shop around and CHANGE providers, even at 39 weeks and 6 days. It is nigh impossible to be hold to what you thought you knew while in pain, maybe in a hospital, and listening to a person in a culturally respected profession who is saying a procedure or intervention is necessary for the health/safety of the baby.
We need, as women, to recognize that “nice” is presentation, to research hospital policies, a provider’s standard practices, and to be alert to red flags in the conversations we have during prenatal visits, and be willing to change providers. It is really hard to change change the way your provider practices- it is easier and better to give your business (yes, we all pay a lot of money for this services- either out of pocket, through out premiums and deductibles, and in our taxes) to a provider who trusts birth.
If there is something you don’t like about your provider, find a better fit. I am sure we have all heard “Well, my doctor says…” given as a reason for whatever. I don’t think it is common enough knowledge that doctors very often disagree.
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Well…Not “where were you, Feminist Breeder?” haha…but in general…I had probably 3 or 4 classes in various grades at school that taught me how to put a condom on a guy, how to remain abstinent, what to do if I ever suspected I had an STI…and how to say, “NO” to sex if I didn’t want it. But no one told me what to do if I said “yes” to sex…and instead of getting an STI, I got pregnant. Except for a pamphlet to Planned Parenthood, I didn’t really know what people did after they got pregnant. They just “knew” what they were supposed to do b/c the majority of people I knew were all 30-sometimes who had planned out that whole phase of their lives. And they were all scooting away from the “barely legal” knocked up chick who wasn’t married, not drawing me in.
At barely 20…I was pretty darned surprised when I started throwing up every morning and noticed a roadmap of blue veins on my chest. My mom “helped” me…but this was 2003, and her last experience with birth was in 1988.
And as natural as her births had been, she didn’t really have anything to tell me. Not even how she found her midwife. It’s almost like…If you get pregnant before anyone else you know…You will be totally left out in the cold.
Maybe it’s another issue all together…but it seems like we don’t learn the important stuff…until after we’ve tried to stumbly blindly through it. …But we learn all kinds of other things that we may not ever use. Algebra anyone? 
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I couldn’t agree with you more. I was a natural birth advocate from childhood due to my mother’s example but when I signed up for my Bradley class I was still about conveinence and mainly going with the flow. My Bradley class opened my eyes and especially my DH’s eyes to advocating for myself and my baby and what was not really “required” even though it was presented that way. I quickly whiched providers and hospitals from one 5 min away to one 45 min away to better ensure that I get the birth I want. All was well until 37wks when the OB overseeing my MW took me away from her b/c my baby had insisted on staying breech and he wanted to schedule my c/s for the next week. I told him no way and called my Bradley teacher. She had learned of a doc that was allowing 1st time moms to deliver breech. I called his office and begged to be taken on as a patient. He kindly did so having never heard of me before. 3 weeks later on my due date, I went into labor and delivered a baby girl Frank Breech through *OMG* my vagina!! A c/s avoided through education. If I’d taken the hospital class I wouldn’t have known it was possible to deliever breech much less have had the contacts to find the right provider at the right time.
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Did I have the birth I wanted? I don’t know – I’m not sure what I wanted or expected. But as LUCK would have it, I had a delivery I am satisfied with, even 3 years later.
My water broke in my bed at home at 3:45 a.m. after a snack of generic Fruity Pebbles. It didn’t seem much else was happening so I tried to go back to sleep in prep for “the work to come!” I was too excited, though, and ended up sitting on a ball watching the early morning news. By 8:00 my contractions were about 5 minutes apart so we decided to call the folks and let them know to go to the hospital. But a little while later everything ground to a halt and we told them to come to the house to wait it out with me. By 10:00 I allowed my mother and MIL to pressure me to the hospital. There I annoyed the nurses by moving around and disrupting the electronic fetal monitor the entire day as I entertained visitors and watched Food TV. Eventually they were so irritated, they took it off me! That told me how necessary it truly was in my case. By 2:00 I allowed Pitocin because I didn’t know any better. By 5:00, still nothing and they stopped the drip. Finally I started dilating 1-2 hours after that. After 7:00 I reached 8cm and requested an epi. I believed I was at my limit and it was the last minute one could be administered. I got a walking epi, which is anesthetic injected around the spinal cord and not into into the epidural area. It dulled the pain, but I could still feel and move. Later I also got an episiotomy, but I don’t remember being asked about it. At 8:15 p.m. I delivered a 6b7oz girl who went to my chest in way more time than it should have taken. That was my April Fools Day, 2007.
I’m 14 weeks now and this time I’m going to a birthing center with midwives.
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I can’t begin to tell you how encouraging it is to read this post. I was pressured into doing a planned c-section at 37 weeks because I had gestational diabetes and they estimated my son to be approximately 9lbs. My OB/GYN told me that I risked 4th degree tearing if I went with a natural birth. She practically refused to give me the option of a natural birth and I was absolutely devastated. My husband was scared of the birth process so he was more than happy to concede to the doctor’s wishes for a c-section. It was easier on everyone in his mind.
The two people who it affected – me and my son – were never really taken into consideration. For me, I had to live through weeks of recovery and the extreme disappointment that came with being unable to exclusively breastfeed, despite trying everything the lactation consultants suggested. For my son, he lost the chance of being exclusively breastfed and frankly, even though he was born on his due date, he wasn’t ready to be born. I never showed any signs of labor, so I would have been late.
I’ve already told my husband that I don’t intend to be talked out of a natural birth again. I have always know that natural is best, but I let my doctor influence me with fears of outcomes that no one could predict. Sure, my son was big when he was born – 10.5lbs – but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t give birth to him. Hindsight is 20/20 and I’m determined not to be naive next time.
Karen´s last blog ..The case for a cleaning service
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A friend of mine was induced for having GD (well-controlled) in her pregnancy and ended up with a section for a less than 6 pound baby! She obviously was not ready to give birth and did not receive enough support to breastfeed either. So sad….
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As the mother of two, and about to deliver my third child, i couldn’t agree more. I feel as though I’ve really only delivered one child. My first, in hospital under an OB’s care, with a doula, resulted in induction, epidural and vaccuum extraction and hours worth of stitched to repair all the damages from pulling out my child when he wouldnt come out. He also suffered from a subdural hematoma which led to jaundice. Not the outcome anyone would want. Our decisions were very uninformed and we were not at all educated or prepared for our first birth.
My second, a home birth with midwives was an ecstatic birth. Yup, I swore a lot, and yup, it hurt, but it was the most honest and intimate experience of my life, so filled with genuine love, closeness and pure joy.
I am lucky that the Ontario (Canada) government offers women a choice of who can deliver their children, and where that can take place.
I did not take the Bradley Method course, but I read a lot of Ina May Gaskin and watched the Business of Being Born and ORgasmic Birth. At no time during my home birth did I ever think that I wanted to go to hospital, or have any sort of “pain” relief. I embraced it and let go of control which was a real triumph and accomplishment.
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When I became pregnant with my first, I was already living in a very holistically minded community where women were used to birthing their babies at home with midwives. The hardest part for me with my first was telling my parents how and where I was birthing. I took 10 weeks of Bradley birthing classes that really made me feel prepared to accept the changes my body would feel during labor and how best to ride through it and work with my body to bring my baby to me. My first birth was long but endurable, and just as I read, my body was able to take that birthing pain and literally throw it out the window once my son was born and in my arms. I can’t actually describe how painful natural birth is because my body gave me the hormones and such to deal– I can only tell other mothers that it IS possible, and that our bodies were made to do this, and that its the best outcome for both mama and baby (in most situations).
Fast forward 5 years, I am back living in Illinois and pregnant looking for a midwife/homebirthing options in IL. Don’t let metropolitan areas fool you- finding a homebirthing midwife that would travel an hour out of the city to our house was HELL! My fiance and I found a provider who we felt somewhat comfortable with and was willing to drive the hour, and settled in for the rest of the pregnancy prepping and awaiting our arrival. We went to Bradley classes, mostly because I wanted my fiance to understand what I would be going through in labor and how best to support and deal with me (his first baby, so he wasn’t at bliss birth #1).
The hardest thing for me to accept regarding OUR Bradley classes– and this entirely may have been the instructor (also our midwife at the time) was that she did not touch on interventions or cesarean at all, and what was said was glossed over in a quick 5 minutes. I don’t know if this was because the audience was all homebirthers, or she didn’t want to scare the prima’s, but imagine my surprise when at 37 weeks I had a sneaking suspicion my baby’s head was under my ribs and not head down as midwife had said. One ultrasound later and I am devastated that I had to now be looking at possible C/S options and switching providers after looking so hard for someone that would make the drive to our home. Even harder, was going to that next Bradley Birthing class, and our midwife– our course instructor, saying that she didn’t feel we had to come anymore since we would probably be going in for surgery. And when class members asked us in class to describe what our plans were regarding finding another provider and mentally prepping for a possible surgery, that same midwife/instructor asked us to not talk about cesareans because she didn’t want the other mothers to get upset…but…WHAT ABOUT ME!?!?
I wasn’t informed on Cesareans at the time, but I quickly became informed in those two weeks when I wasn’t doing funky yoga moves and handstands to get baby turned. And thankfully my cesarean was relatively un-dramatic compared to stories I have heard/read. The hardest part, was after going into labor a week before scheduled and laboring at home with my fiance, as I was wheeled in to begin the operation one of the surgeon says “20 more minutes on the road, and we would have had to let you just naturally deliver breech because we can feel her little toes.” I felt let down by myself, for not holding out and doing what I ultimately wanted (birthing natural) and also very upset that our original midwife and Bradley instructor basically dumped us after finding out we were breech, and wasn’t really able to steer us in the best direction for educating ourselves about C/S.
Now, when we plan to conceive our third, I will travel as far as I need to find the midwife that will let me birth in a sacred space, whether that be in a birthing center or home. I don’t think I will ever take another Bradley class as two have made me feel confident in what to do in labor and after, however I think a Hypnobirthing or Birthing from Within class might be good for myself if/when I VBAC/HBAC.
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I think that was more your instructor than the classes themselves. I wouldn’t let it make you discount Bradley altogether. (Though I prefer Birthing from Within myself.) I can’t believe how inconsiderate the teacher was. To not let you know that even with a breech baby, you still have options. Definitely more difficult, but options are still there. And even having a c-section, taking classes can make a difference. (Classes are NOT just for home births or for natural births. I think that every woman needs information on birth as a process as a whole, regardless of the plans or outcome.) That’s ridiculous for the instructor to say that you don’t warrant attention just because your plans changed. I’m sorry you didn’t get the help and support you needed. I hope next time you’ll get to deliver how, when, and where you want.
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It’s too HARD to have a natural birth in our overly medicalized culture, and it’s too EASY to find excuses for why you didn’t get one (baby too big, pelvis too small, etc.)
In my experience, being armed with the information and statistics that I learned in Bradley classes is what helped me to fight for the things that were important to me in a hospital setting. And I came to birth with a different experience from most – my younger sisters were born at home and from a young age I understood birth to be a natural process that didn’t need to be messed with. That kind of knowledge has served me well overall, but it did NOT prepare me for the reality of birth with an OB in a hospital.
Childbirth education classes combined with extensive reading and research are what enabled me to feel empowered enough to fight for what I knew to be right (no induction, no IV, etc.) and to have a natural birth in a hospital as a first-time mom.
Second time around I knew better and went the homebirth/midwife route – SOOOO much better!!!
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“In these modern times, women fear birth because they haven’t grown up seeing their mothers/sisters/aunts giving birth, and they have no idea what a normal birth looks like. The fear of birth is very often a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Amen!!!
The theme of my dissertation (and beyond).
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Great post.
My only caveat: I would ask the Bradley folks to share how they arrived at the 90% claim. I seriously doubt that is still accurate. Bradley asks instructors to submit data on an online form that gives details of their students’ births (epidural, narcotics, etc) but I didn’t turn them in during the last two years I was teaching because I consider it a violation of my students’ privacy. (I no longer teach Bradley)
Despite my NOT turning in the data, as well as numerous other Bradley teachers I know, they still claim that 90% of births are unmedicated because they track this data in their “computer.”
I really wish this post had been supportive of out of hospital classes in general, not just Bradley. A Bradley class is only as good as the teacher, IMO.
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Janene – I believe this post was very supportive of ALL types of out-of-hospital birth classes. I, myself, am about to be a certified CAPPA instructor. The only reason Bradley is mentioned was because it happened to be the method mentioned in the original story. If that mom had taken Hypnobabies, Birthing From Within, CAPPA, or any other class, that method would have been highlighted in the story. In every other instance, I make it clear that an 8-12 week childbirth ed class is what’s important – NOT the method itself.
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I started out to write a quick comment on my son’s birth. But when I looked at how much I’d written I changed my mind. If you want to read it I turned it into my latest blog. But the point is how mine didn’t turn out as planned. I took a 6 session childbirth ed class but in the end I found out the hard way that my midwife wasn’t for “sit back and wait” like she made herself out to be. Birthing with a midwife is a great step most of the time, but you have to make sure they don’t follow the ob model of care.
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I’m sorry you got the “bait and switch.” It’s unfortunate that not all midwives follow the midwifery model of care or that more OBs aren’t midwife-minded.
I think a good class should discuss the importance of interviewing and choosing a good provider. And go over steps to make sure that there is a good fit. Of course, with all things, there is never a 100% guarantee. It sucks when something like this happens to you.
I’m sorry you got stuck with someone who misrepresented herself and wasn’t honest with you. You definitely were assaulted. (Being stretched without consent?) Our maternity system definitely needs to change, from all fronts.
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This is one of your best posts yet! We too did Bradley (I later had a paper published in the Intl. Jrnl. of Childbirth Ed on Bradley), and our teacher was our doula. It helped SO MUCH. I did have to fight “tooth and nail” to stave off interventions (doctor still forced the issue), but wouldn’t even have known I could avoid them without the class. I have found that the Bradley teacher’s experience and approach has a lot to do with the quality of the teaching (see Jill’s note), but most are dedicated to their work, and it shows!
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YES! Hubby and I took the full 12-week Bradley course while several of our friends who were pregnant at the same time took other classes (mostly the ones offered at the hospital). We had an astonishingly quick (7.5hrs of labor start to finish) and 100% natural birth. Our girl came out with a nuchal hand and VERY MILD shoulder dystocia weighing in at a respectable 8lbs 14oz and in perfect health. Of the 5 other couples we knew who have since had their babies- all of whom were committed to natural childbirth- we were the only ones to accomplish it. We were also the only ones to hire a Doula. I believe fully that the Bradley course and our Doula had everything to do with our birth outcome. Being an educated consumer is THE single most important thing a pregnant woman and her partner can do to affect the outcome of their child’s birth!
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I didn’t take a child birth education class with either of my pregnancies, but I was fairly well read. I chose a homebirth for both, although the first ended up as a transfer to hospital.
My midwife was fairly informative, but I feel that What really helped me the most was reading, reading, reading – lots of books and articles, connecting with other moms who had homebirth and “natural” births, and then talking with my midwife about what I’ve been reading. I think that my efforts to inform myself as much as possible enabled me to reduce my risk of c-section and avoid some other interventions. Although I was (and sometimes still am) disappointed that we ended up with a hospital birth, we were able to create an environment that that was some of what we were seeking in a homebirth experience.
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*lump in throat*
I love birth. I love natural birth. My mom did it 3 times, her mother did it 11 times. When ass-kicking fighting for my VBAC I hands down wanted a NB. I hired a doula at 35 weeks when my OB said he would *let* me have a trial of labor. I was so busy stressing out about my daughter and fighting for my VBAC, I never took any classes, I only read Henci’s book, watched BOBB and listened to my doula tell me I could do it.
I never expected to dilate from 2 to 7 cm in 40 minutes with contractions 1 minute apart. The OB on staff that I just met told me my ctx would get 100 times worse (can you tell where this is going?). My doula said maybe the epidural would be better to slow my labor down. That was it. I broke and asked for it. After they were done, the OB checked and I was complete. And here’s the kicker: She said I was probably complete before he finished administering the epidural.
My daughter was healthy, I pushed for 20 minutes, no tearing. I got my VBAC. But, I still feel like a failure. I love my local ICAN chapter, but still feel like an outsider. Like I wasn’t strong enough. Like I couldn’t take it. I’m not one of “them”. Honestly, I try to be proud that I had a VBAC in a hospital of all places, one that has a higher than normal c-section rate, but STILL I feel it’s not good enough.
I know your post wasn’t meant that way, but I still feel in the passionate birth community like an outsider for saying yes to the needle.
Andrea Owen´s last blog ..What do you want to BE when you grow up?
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I understand what you mean. After I posted my birth story 2 years ago, I followed some links and noticed people in a natural birth forum talking about my VBAC as though it had been a total failure because of the epidural. I suppose the fact that I SHUT OFF THE EPIDURAL AND FELT EVER SINGLE BIT OF MY SON COMING OUT was of no consequence to them.
This post isn’t about the choice to get the epi or not – it’s about knowing HOW to make the birth you CHOOSE come to fruition. Here’s the question you have and I have to ask ourselves – would taking a 12 week class have helped us avoid the epidural in its entirety? For me, I *think* the answer is yes. I’d like to believe if I’d known what I was doing that I could have handled it. But I won’t know until the next go around.
We still got our VBACs though – and eff anyone who thinks they don’t count just because of how they happened.
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Same thing happened to me. Jill from The Unnecessaren posted my VBAC story and some women were commenting about my epidural, not blaming me so much as the hospital. On Facebook, as if I was some imaginary person who wouldn’t read the comments. Some were hard core homebirthers who didn’t read my circumstances (3rd degree calcified placenta, baby measuring in 8th percentile, plus scar tissue attached to the placenta) of not feeling comfortable going for an HBAC. I really felt a divide and I was shocked.
I would have loved to have taken a 12 week class. Loved to. But, my fucking OB scared the holy shit out of me, making me feel like my vagina would explode and my baby would die if I chose to VBAC. So, I only had less than 5 weeks to prepare. In hindight (ha!) an HBAC would have been perfect. Fast and furious, but perfect.
Andrea Owen´s last blog ..What do you want to BE when you grow up?
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I had FULLY planned on taking a Bradley class with that baby (in fact, I still get the Bradley emails because I had expressed interest in singing up for one particular class.) I really, truly had every intention, but then as my pregnancy went on, life just got in the way. I realized way-too-late that my doc was being a douche, and if it weren’t for me seeing The Business of Being Born at 35 weeks pregnant, then hiring my doula, I’m absolutely certain I’d be talking to you with a second cesarean scar right now. I just wish I’d taken the classes so I could have handled my VBAC better than I did, but when it comes right down to it, the way my VBAC went down us HUGELY responsible for the person I am right now. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but in hindsight it served a purpose. Now I just have to make sure other women don’t learn things the hard way like I insist on doing.
Wow, I’m kind of surprised an epi was even suggested to you…that’s sort of contra-indicated for VBACs. Most meds are…
I hate when folks get into that “bubble” of “It has to be exactly this way, or it isn’t up to standards!” I am always encouraged to read about VBACs of any kind…cuz the next kiddo will be a VBA2C!
Maegan´s last blog ..Blog who?
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I had a vbac and I’ve never heard that an epi is contra-indicated for vbacs. Inductions are but they have their place as well.
I went med-free as planned but I don’t want woman thinking they have to go completely natural to have a vbac. It’s ideal but not for everyone.
I think there is always someone who does something better than you. I feel guilty that I *only* breastfed for 16 months because of the extended breast-feeders.
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Epis can slow labor, and also keep the mother from knowing when/how to push. Have you ever been numbed by a dentist who told you not to touch your face? ‘Cuase you don’t know how hard you’re actually touching yourself and you could inadvertantly hurt yourself by touching too hard.
An epi is the same…
And if it slows labor…you will need it to wear off before labor will progress again. And Pit is REALLY contra-indicated for VBACs b/c of the stress it puts on the uterus. In addition…slowing and re-starting labor could also stress out the original incision.
BTW, just b/c you’ve never “heard of” something…doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. I’d never heard of snow in May until I moved to NY…but it exists! 
Maegan´s last blog ..A Day to Remember…
Yes epidurals have downsides and thus should be discouraged in all labors. But it is not contra-indicated in vbacs. Here is a link to the vbac guidelines from the Council of the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada.
http://bit.ly/aprWWh
Ideally a mother can avoid an epidural but let’s not let them think their only choice is an unmedicated vaginal birth or repeat c-section.
I know that pitocin is contra-indicated in vbacs but I know friends who used a small dose after going 15 days overdue. Given the choice between a c-section and a small dose of pitocin they choose the pitocin. This is a risk each mother has to decide for herself.
I love this post! I am forever telling newly pregnant friends to get educated – even if they have had babies previously. The sad thing is, I get a lot of “Oh yeahs” and nods, but few ever take my reading list seriously – why? Because I did Bradley and still ended up with a c-section. They completely tune out the fact that I was ABLE to labor for 24 hours with no meds, that I was ABLE to move around and try every position known to woman-kind to get the baby out, that I was ABLE to make the decision to get a c-section from a position of KNOWING I did everything I could possibly do to have a natural birth (9 hours of pushing and tons of positions and baby did not move one iota) and not from a position of fear. I knew what was going on, I knew my choices, I knew the risks/dangers. I was able to walk away from my experience empowered and KNOWING I made the best decisions. I still suffer a little psychologically, but that has more to do with not knowing why it didn’t work out – but at least I do know that I don’t have to second guess about whether the interventions caused it.
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When I started teaching Bradley 14 years ago, I thought very naively that I would be out of a job by now because the maternity care system in the US would surely have changed! Surely, all the docs, nurses and hospitals were reading the same information I had access to! Silly me… It would be so great to be put out of business due to a rash of Mother-Baby Friendly hospitals! (That’ll be the day!)
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Amen Sista! I had to get a master’s degree in Family Therapy with a specialization in attachment and early childhood just to come to an understanding of the important relationship between a new mother, her birthing body, and the impact of the birth experience on the maternal identity that will carry her into motherhood. It would have been much cheaper and easier for me in my personal journey as a woman into motherhood had I found a childbirth education class beyond the 8-hour ‘this is what a fetal monitor and vacuum look like’.
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I love this post. It’s weird for me though because I took no courses (I don’t know why I didn’t, I think part of me just didn’t want to) and somehow ended up with a wonderful drug-free birth. It was quick, thank god, and I think that in combo with having wonderful supportive nurses was integral… and I say that because I was much less aware than I am now. I think of all the “what-ifs” and count myself sooooo lucky. I read Ina’s Guide and it kicked me in the head; it gave me so much confidence in my body which I think so many women don’t have. It’s an unbelievable uphill battle to come out of childbirth and be happy and at least know that we did all we could and weren’t victims. Next baby, hopefully in the next year or two, I will have a much better plan and not look back wondering “how in the hell did that go so well?”… because I will know why having prepared better! I find it funny, though, because most women think that women are nuts for not wanting drugs ( I used to be the poster child for the “just give me the epidural” movement before I got preggo) but I had a WONDERFUL birth with my daughter, 2nd degree tearing and all, and I would NEVER regret a moment of it. I wish we all could say that, and it makes me tear up thinking that we all can’t. It has nothing to do necessarily with epidural or not, stadol or not, section or vajayjay, back or squat….
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I have enjoyed reading all of the comments; I regularly hear similar stories. My passion is to ensure that all women have access to the Six Healthy Birth Practices outlined by Lamaze regardless of how which class they went to or did not attend. How a woman is supported in labor should not depend as much as it currently does on how much preparation a woman has had. However, we currently have a long road to tow since we have never in the history of the United States had such a rampant use of medical interventions during birth. Women demanding more humanized birthing options worked once and it can work again. For example, women need to demand freedom of movement in labor — there is no evidence that being stuck in a bed tethered to a continuous electronic fetal monitor is helpful. In fact, lack of movement has negative consequences. In case you want to learn more about the other 5 practices Lamaze recommends go to: http://www.lamaze.org/Default.aspx?tabid=251
In the meantime, until the birthing environments and labor practices are shifted in our country, I recommend that women be prepared and know what their options are and not agree to anything being done to them unless there is a strong medical reason.
Thanks Gina and everyone for getting more information out there!
Debra Bingham, DrPH, RN, LCCE, President-Elect Lamaze International
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I didn’t read any of the other comments (sorry) but I wanted to add that I didn’t take a comprehensive birth class and was able to have a completely drug free birth with my daughter. While I didn’t take a birthing class, I DID read a lot about what to expect in hospitals and what sort of interventions can cascade.
I did enough research that, at 35 weeks, when I found out that the hospital I was set to deliver at had a 90% epidural rate, I immediately switched care so that I wouldn’t have to deliver there.
This time around, I feel even more prepared and I devour any information I can find. I’m getting ready to have a home water birth at the end of July. I have to say, Gina, that you are one of the reasons I do this. Reading your blog opened my view of birth. I consider myself an advocate now and have no trouble telling everyone about the things I’ve learned! Thanks for that!
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I didn’t write a birth plan, and did not attend a comprehensive birth class. This was my experience:
The night of due date, early labor started and I was able to go to bed. Starting at 1am the contractions were strong enough to keep me up. I woke my boyfriend up at about 3, and by 5am, we were on the way to the hospital. My contractions were about 4-5 minutes apart.
At 7am I was 5-6cm dilated and 100% effaced. It seemed things were moving along quickly. The rest of the day went something like this:
-10am still 5-6cm, they want to break my water. I decide to wait.
-12pm still 5-6cm, I agree to let them break my water.
-2pm 8cm, contractions are very strong, and I am involuntarily baring down.
-4pm still 8cm, my baring down has caused my cervix to swell. I am told I need an epidural in order for the labor to proceed due to the swelling/baring down situation. I reluctantly agree.
-4:30pm I wonder why I didn’t have an epidural the whole time! I was feeling great.
-5pm 10cm!! We can start the pushing process. The epidural has made it so I don’t have the urge to bare down. I push based on sensing my contractions.
-6pm my contractions have slowed down, they load me with pitocin to increase the frequency and strength of my contractions.
-7:30pm still pushing, they make an attempt with a vacuum pump, which becomes unsuctioned as the doctor pulls with all her might and blood splatters on everyone, including my terrified boyfriend.
-7:40pm they try to vacuum baby out again. Not ok at this point, as it is another massive fail.
-7:50pm doctor tells me I need to have a c-section as I am not delivering vaginally.
-8:10pm baby boy is born via c-section.
As it turns out, the babies head was turned just slightly to the side and during my delivery I was pushing out not the crown, by the side of his head (which looked awfully mutilated after all the pushing and vacuuming). In that position it would have been impossible to vaginally deliver him.
So basically, everything I didn’t want to happen, happened. I could not believe that after 17 hours of labor and 2.5 hours pushing I end up having major abdominal surgery to deliver my baby. I felt defeated. The whole experience was so far from ideal that I am officially traumatized (even up until writing this I forgot about the several times I vomited during labor!)
Friends told me, don’t dwell on it, look what you have a healthy baby boy, etc. Ok fine, I will admit its hard to be mad when you have a little bundle of joy. But as I am still recovering, nearly 6 weeks after the fact, rehashing the memories of labor can still bring tears to my eyes.
Looking back, I would have never let them break my water. That was the first mistake by which I think the rest became inevitable. Perhaps my body knew the baby was slightly turned and not ready to come out. Its anyone’s guess, but I was very disappointed with the whole process, and will have a forever anxiety about childbirth from now on.
I plan on using a midwife and writing a detailed birth plan for my next pregnancy/delivery. After reading this article, I will take some long tem eduation classes too!!
Erika´s last blog ..Breast Feeding Part 1 (Hopefully)
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One thing I wonder if there is a database or website that ranks doctors and midwife practices about how good they are with natural births.
I think a lot of women just go to the OB side of their OB/GYN practice or go to someplace that is close to either home or work since you spend a lot of time at the OB/Midwife office.
I had an OB for the 1st baby (I was assumed to be high risk because my mom had placenta previa with both kids) and a midwife for the second, and I still had natural births.
While I will never ever forget the feeling of my skin tearing open, I am glad that I got to have the natural births.
I think that was helped by the birth plan and the fact I went in 9 hours with the first and 4.5 with the second.
Another Suburban Mom´s last blog ..Memorial Day
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There is a website called “ratemydoc.com”…but it’s all docs, not a specific specialty…and I don’t know that midwives are included, though I have only rated MDs that I disliked.
Maegan´s last blog ..A Day to Remember…
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I could not agree more! I have had 4 children. My first was a hospital with a nightmarish OB. My second was in a midwife friendly hospital with CNM’s, my 3rd was at home in a blow up kiddie pool with a CPM, my fourth was in a hospital with a midwife friendly high risk OB. My first twas a horror, my second was positive, my 3rd was a dream and my fourth actually surpassed my experience at home. For several reasons I believe, first and foremost I made my preferences and my birth education known to my OB from day one – and he never challenged me on them. His belief (to my experience) is that we CAN birth vaginally – regardless of the size of the baby. I told him up front that I tent to have membranes rupture without the onset of contractions for up to 36 hours. He never pushed about inducing or augmenting EVEN WITH THAT PROLONGED time frame (in an OB’s estimation that IS a long time). In the end I DID end up with a preterm induction – which was not as i had hoped but it was what was best in the given situation. He never pushed for an epidural, never suggested a cesarean and never gave me a time fram for my labor provided baby was not in TRUE distress. She never was. I was induced, and had pain meds but no epidural. I can’t get an epidural – i have an extra lumbar vertebra and I made my doc aware of this too – his response was this “I wouldnt’ suggest it anyway, in a true emergent c-section an epidural takes too long to work so we don’t even need to concern ourselves with that”
Needless to say – I can attest through experience that how much you know DOES effect your birth, your birth IS in your hands. Yes you may have risk factors (I did) but that does NOT have to result in the cascade of interventions!
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PS – that induction resulted in a 10.2 pound baby girl with no tears and no epidural
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So, if you were going to give just one book about birth to a pregnant friend who is currently planning to take just the one-day hospital class, what would you recommend? I don’t want to come off all preachy, nor do I want to scare her about the hospital experience, but I would love to open the door for her to discover and claim her own positive birth experience – whatever that is for her.
I don’t have a lot of personal experience here. I delivered my twins via c-section. I know many women who have delivered their twins with minimal intervention, but I knew pretty early on that that would not be an option for me (for various medical reasons including their final double footling breech presentation). I did read Birthing from Within, and I had a lovely doula present at the birth, but I didn’t do as much reading (or take any classes) as I otherwise would have.
cass´s last blog ..What it’s like
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For that pregnant friend, I’d give her “Your Best Birth” – which is the book Ricki Lake and Abby Abstein did after Teh Business of Being Born came out. Then, if she likes that, I’d tell her to read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.
Honestly though, I’d start by renting the Business of Being Born (or buying it) and inviting her over to watch it. THEN give her a book.
A free copy of “Your Best Birth” is what convinced Heather Armstrong (the most famous blogger of all time) to switch to a natural birth plan 30 weeks into her second pregnancy. She got her natural birth, and is now a natural birth evangelist.
That’s the power of information.
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Just wanted to let all my commentors know that I’ll be discussing this topic live on my radio show this Sunday, June 6th at 10 pm CENTRAL time. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thefeministbreeder/2010/06/07/the-importance-of-childbirth-education
My special guests include a Lamaze instructor, a Bradley instructor, and a Hypnobabies instructor. We’ll be discussing the various methods of childbirth education and why they are each important.
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I did have a vaginal birth without any pain medication and I took only the hospital childbirth class. I took that class only because my midwife sat me down and said essentially – look, if there are complications, it’s very hard for me to explain inventions to you while you are in labor. I’d like you to take this class so that you can think about them in advance and that will make my job easier if we have to talk about them while you are in labor. So husband and I took the class because if we ended up getting into a dispute about my care, we wanted to look like we’d made an effort to cooperate first. The idea of taking a longer class sounded torturous to both my husband and I (and not only because of our experience with the hospital class, which was pretty good as far as those things go).
I already believed that birth was a natural process and I was not afraid of giving birth. I had been born naturally and many of my husband’s siblings had been born naturally as well. I really didn’t believe that childbirth would be accompanied by unbearable pain, although I didn’t expect that it would occur without discomfort. So I read a little on the internet about a variety of natural childbirth methods and mostly I meditated and I talked to my husband about how I wanted things to go and what how I wanted to deal with different worst case scenarios. I think that this discussion between my husband and I was the most important part of preparation. I suspect that for many couples, childbirth classes facilitate these types of discussions. For possible scenarios that I was still concerned about, we talked to the midwife about what the hospital policy was and who got to make the call about deviating from hospital policy. For example, I was very concerned that if I needed an emergency c-section that I would also need a spinal and I really wanted my husband to be there with me if that happened. This is not hospital policy, but waiving the policy is up to the individual anesthesiologist who does the procedure and apparently some of them are more willing than others to waive it. So at least we were able to pin down who to talk to in that event and I felt a little less anxious about that scenario.
I also chose a provider who cared about whether I had a vaginal childbirth with minimal interventions. I chose a hospital based midwifery group that had a low c-section rate and low episiotomy rate. They even do water births, although they don’t do too many of them. They were not concerned about big babies or inducing before 42 weeks.
When it came to the delivery, my son was positioned poorly and had the cord wrapped around his neck. My MIL gave me some great advice. She told me not to worry about the positioning because that was the midwife’s concern. I took this advice to heart and didn’t worry about it. The midwives worked very hard to make sure that my son was born safely and vaginally. There came a time when an emergency c-section was being seriously considered (and I was in transition so I would totally have gone along with it), but the midwives made sure that I had the chance to labor as long as possible before that and an OB consulted and agreed to that plan. As it turned out, that was long enough that it came time to push and the OB had gone to sleep so I just went ahead and birthed my baby.
I did not have a detailed birth plan that explained how I wanted to deal with every possible scenario. Instead, I discussed those things with my husband in advance so that he could convey my wishes to the midwives if necessary. In my birth plan, I talked about how I wanted to discuss interventions and how I wanted procedures done if I consented to them. I also discussed comfort measures that I did or didn’t want to try and how much advice I wanted from the nurses regarding comfort measures.
The way I see it, you can control yourself and your behavior. You can choose your birth attendant (within geographic and financial constraints) and you can choose your support people. You already know how you respond to stress, to exhaustion, to pain. You probably also already know what does and doesn’t help you when feel these things. In my experience, the things that work to help you stay in control of yourself when you aren’t in labor were the same things that helped me stay in control of myself when I was in labor. You probably have only limited control over other health factors that may or may not complicate delivery. You can’t control your baby – how he or she is positioned and how cooperative he or she is about being born. I agree that to say that you can’t control your birth experience at all is an oversimplification.
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GOD DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!
You just said a lot of what I’ve wanted to say forever. Brave brave mama. EXCELLENT job.
C Lo´s last blog ..my day, because I’m sure you were wondering
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Thank you for posting (and re-linking) this. I am very early in my pregnancy but have already started thinking carefully about what kind of birth I want (prompted by watching The Business of Being Born and reading _Pushed_ by Jennifer Block). When talking with my friends about wanting a natural birth, I’ve gotten comments like, “Yeah, that’s what I thought I wanted to. But the epidural helped me enjoy the process because I wasn’t hurting so much.” Or–even more discouraging–”Why would you go med-free? It’s not like you get a medal when it’s over.”
Of course, many of my friends have been supportive of this plan and I think those who are quick to dismiss med-free births may have mixed feelings about the way their own birth stories turned out–feelings they don’t want to admit having.
I have been thinking this over and doing as much research as I can on the subject. I am growing more and more interested in hiring a doula, as I think I would need that kind of support to navigate this as a first-time mom. I’m definitely planning to take a Bradley class (if I can find one available in my area) and I will be returning to your website frequently, so I appreciate the information you put forward and the conversations your posts initiate.
I hesitate to enter some of these debates, because my friends who have had c-sections and who have chosen to bottle-feed their babies are intelligent, dedicated, and loving moms, and to suggest that they are not doing the best they can for their children upsets me greatly. At the same time, I have been reading everything I can on these subjects and I am confident that the ideal scenario for me and my baby is an intervention-free birth and breast feeding exclusively when the baby is born.
I admire your passion for these subjects. Often it seems that you believe if everyone were equally informed, everyone would make similar decisions. I am not entirely convinced that is true, but I appreciate your perspective. And this entry has pushed me to put a doula into our budget. Because, for me, it really is THAT important.
This comment is a million years long–sorry, but thank you!
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Well said! Thank you for putting into words what I’ve been trying to explain for years. I took the Bradley classes… and have had 3 successful natural homebirths.
With my first I labored for 29 hours — and pushed for 2 hours (and knew this was completely normal, thanks to the class. Had I been in a hospital I would’ve had a ‘failure to progress’ and ended up with a c-section.)
My 2nd was 12 days late and VERY big. The back-up doctor used words like ‘too big’ and ‘shoulder dystocia’ and ‘c-section’(I think to scare me). But, she was successfully born at home after a 3 hour labor at 10lbs, 8oz. I didn’t have a tear or anything!
My 3rd baby was born just last month (5.5.10) at home as well. Labor & delivery were a grand total of 2 hours. She was 9# 11oz and perfect. With her my water broke (without contractions) and we waited until the contractions started. Didn’t take long for her to get here once she was ready!
I am so thankful that I learned about pregnancy, labor and delivery before I had my first baby, it has made me much more aware of what a natural birth should & could look like. Because of that knowledge I have been able to have the birth experiences I wanted… and not been afraid by the doctors scare tactics. Instead I have been blessed by the hands of midwives.
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I love your blog and read it whenever I get a chance. You might get tired of hearing my story but I post it when I think it’s necessary for new readers… I was induced because I was “42 weeks” [which wasn't even accurate, of course]… they used Cytotec on 2 different occasions. Then on the day I went in they used some balloon thingy. Then pitocin. I ended up with an epidural. Then a spinal block and surgery. I wish I had educated myself more – I thought I knew quite a bit. My sister has had 8 children. One was in a hospital [state laws]. The other 7 were home births – the first 3 with a lay midwife and the last 4 were unassisted. I was there for 4 births. Allow me to say I’m really really pissed off that I had a C/S. [He was only 8lbs 3 oz and my sister had 8.5-9.5 pounders] At the time I thought it was best because his head was molding. The CNM told me I was 7 cm and could stretch to 8 but they thought it was risky and encouraged the cesarean. But now I’ve educated myself more, and looking back on things, I know it could have been prevented. Thank you so much for sharing, and I hope the rest of your readers take what you say alllll the way to heart.
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I don’t have any scientific proof, just anecdotal evidence…Those mommas I have talked to that have had major tearing (like all the way to the rectum) have all been pushing with epidurals. Some of them were also paired with interventions and things like forceps and vacuums! My mother deliverd a 12+ baby BREECH at home with no tearing…
Maegan´s last blog ..A Day to Remember…
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I just wanted to add to the stories here. I actually chose to have the Cervadil and the Pitocin. Because I thought at one week over due that if I didn’t have my boy right then, he would have come out two weeks later and 15lbs…This was MY thought. My doctor told me at my due date appointment that I could wait as long as I wanted. They wouldn’t induce until 1 week overdue or when I wanted. Again, my choice. And it wasn’t bad. I spent a day at the hospital getting the Cervadil to work and then the next day laboring. I didn’t get an epidural. I prepared for a “natural” birth by watching a DVD. And talking to my mother who should be a Doula by all rights. She was there the whole labor reminding me to breath and coaching me through the whole process. I made it through, my contractions were not unbearable to me, and I had my son. But then the doctor, because my OB was a resident, decided that I was taking too long to birth the placenta(after maybe 20 minutes) and he went in and “manually” RIPPED the placenta off my uterin wall and took it out of me. And they were surprised the next day when I passed out after trying to get up to go to the bathroom. I almost had to have a blood transfusion and thinking about it I’m pretty sure it was because he didn’t let me birth the placenta on my own. My OB couldn’t even stand up to him. I wish looking back and after reading this that I could have been more patient. But since at 1 week over he was over 9lbs I’m almost glad that I didn’t wait. It could have been worse. I don’t remember how many stitches I got, I didn’t count. I have plenty of “next times” that I am going to document so when I do get the chance to have another baby it is going to be more on my terms then the last time. But I will still have my mom by my side.
Randa´s last blog ..According to Astrazenica I am indeed Bipolar.
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Thanks for sharing this. You make a wonderful point, for a mom to go un-medicated in a hospital setting, she needs to prepare! One of the best ways to do this is to take an independent childbirth class (not sponsored by the hospital)
I talk about this point in my book The Top Three Tips to Enjoy Your Birth. Moms can download it free on my website. http://www.enjoybirth.com
Sheridan´s last blog ..Birthing While Driving
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Great post. You said exactly what I’ve thought over (and over and over!) when speaking about birth with others. Yes, there are exceptions (people also win the lottery!), but by and large, you get out of birth what you put into it.
Here’s my personal example: Baby #1, hubby and I want to go natural. So do almost all our prego friends and acquaintances (around 10). We sign up for a Bradley class, and due to class schedule, end up taking the last half of one class and the first half of the other. In all, there are 17 prego couples represented (8 couples each class + 1 prego teacher).
Outcome: of the friends group (none of which took Bradley classes–some took hosp/Lamaze ones), only one goes natural from sheer stubbornness and willpower (and is traumatized by the experience–never wants to give birth again). Of the 17 pregos in our classes, only 2 students give birth with medication. Those two ended up w/a c-section (one for transverse lie, one because they goofed off in class–seriously–we all could see it ending that way)
What hubby and I came away with: we would not have had a natural birth (or even a vaginal one), were it not for taking those classes. We then decided to offer to any friends who wanted to go natural to help pay for Bradley classes, and are taken up on it only once! Getting such excuses (for not taking classes) as “Birth is natural. Women have been birthing naturally for centuries. There’s no reason I need to take a class.”
I see it over and over. The satisfaction of succeeding in the hard work of preparing well for a natural childbirth squashed by comments of how “lucky” you are that it turned out so well. Luck, no. Preparation, yes.
Loved how you expressed it. Thank you for making me not feel so alone and validating those of us who really work hard for the births we achieve.
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I kind of dislike the way I see the comments going. I know as many who went natural without a class of any kind as I do those who took classes and ended up *willingly* agreeing to inductions, interventions, etc. And not all of those ended up in c-sections.
I think this is one of those things “6 of one, half a dozen of the other”. I am sure having a class that empowers you to make very deliberate choices is helpful…I don’t doubt that. But I know as many folks who kind of “fell” into a birth scenario where their labor began, they headed to the hospital, pushed for a bit…and ended up with a minimally dramatic birth. And others who worked and worked to have exactly the kind of birth they had “trained” for. And were sliced and diced and spent 2 weeks in the hospital post partum.
I am SUPER jealous of a friend who had no problem with “Dr. Recommended” labor & delivery. She’s one of those moms that left her baby in the nursery for her entire hospital stay and the baby was formula fed from moment 1. Anywho…She went into labor & then transition so quickly she barely had to time get to the hospital, let along get hooked up to anything. She gave birth naturally TWICE! Without trying to.
Maegan´s last blog ..A Day to Remember…
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YES, YES, YES!!! You nailed it.
carol, mom to 4 lovely girls, 1 via c/s (no labor true emergency), 1 via unmed VBAC the Bradley Way, and 2 via adoption, with one more on the way
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Thanks Gina– for this beautifully written piece and the bump for Bradley. That national boards are buzzing about it.
There is a mantra that I repeat in class… “if it’s to be, it’s up to me”. This means that your choices will largely (but not always) determine your experience.
If you choose not to learn about your options, you don’t have any.
If you choose a dr. with a high rate of C-sections/inductions/episiotomy, etc.– you will not be an exception.
If you choose not to learn how your body works- it will cause fear and tension and that is a large cause of pain.
I think a comprehensive class is SO important to most families (not all). It creates a sense of community as well so you are not doing this alone.
I do agree that a Bradley Class is only as good as the teacher.
I have had single mamas in my class more than once– some have worked with sisters, some have had doulas sit through the whole series, I have one whose dad is taking the class with her. I think it’s very helpful to have someone be there for you- to be your advocate, to be your confidante.
It made me sad to see a former student talk about how things didn’t go as planned and she feels afraid for future births.
I do teach that sometimes things don’t go as planned. Life cannot be totally planned. I do teach about complications, variation, c-sections. I hope that every one of my families who faces a change of priorities in their birth- feels that they were able to make informed and empowered decisions.
It’s not simply about an unmedicated birth. It’s not simply about a vaginal birth. It is about an empowered birth that is right for your family. It is about knowing what your choices are.
Thanks again Gina for being such a fantastic voice for empowerment!
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Thanks for this great post. I want to be a childbirth educator / doula, too, so of course I agree with you. In the independent childbirth class we took when I was pregnant, of the 7 couples in the class, 4 ended up with a completely natural birth (one homebirth, one birth center, one hospital, one planned birth center than ended up in L&D b/c baby came before 37 weeks) and 3 ended up with c/s (one scheduled due to postdates/baby not dropping– working w/ midwives, one likely cascade of interventions– she just had an HBAC w/ #2, and one didn’t get the ‘big’ baby out in 2 hours of pushing). I always thought it was interesting that we were all planning a natural birth and we were nearly split down the middle with both ‘extremes’ of outcomes, ie no one ended up just getting the epidural in the end but having a vaginal birth.
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My dear sister-in-law teaches Bradley classes, so I’d been discussing natural child birth in depth for twelve years before my own little one was born. I took the 12-week course and read several books when I got pregnant, too, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything.
Unfortunately for me, I was one of the 10% that didn’t get the birth I wanted. After over 70 hours of active labor with a midwife and true failure to progress, we chose to go to the hospital, where I started out with pitocin and an epidural and ultimately chose a c-section. The c-section revealed that my daughter had her arm above her head and the cord wrapped tightly around her arm and neck several times, so she never fully descended and engaged.
Logically and mentally, I knew it was the right choice, but emotionally it took me about a year and a half for my emotions to catch up with my brain.
My cousin recently gave birth to her boy and she was one of those “planned” on a natural birth but gave in to all the doctor’s interventions, and started out her labor with pitocin and an epidural. She ended up with a c-section for basically no good reason other than the hospital couldn’t just leave well enough alone. Her baby’s birth really did a lot to help me snap out of my emotional woes left over from my first labor.
I’m pregnant again and going to try for a VBAC. I think I have a supportive OB (we’ll see), but I’ll definitely be hiring a doula. I’ve also re-read several of my pregnancy/birth books, so I feel prepared.
One of the things I did learn about my first birth is that I can handle a long labor, and the thought of one doesn’t scare me in the least.
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Yes, yes, yes, absolutely! I gave birth to my first November 2009 without intervention. It was extremely important to me to have a natural/normal birth. My mom had had four c-sections, having been denied a VBAC at every turn. I was terrified of a c-section, more than I was of any pain I might experience in labor, so maybe that helped motivate me to prepare, prepare, prepare. I chose CNMs who deliver at a local hospital with a low c-section rate. I took a Bradley class, did the Brewer Diet, did all the exercises, and read everything I could. I ended up laboring for 24 hours (in denial for the first 10!), pushing for 4 hours, and birthing my 9 lb, 3 oz baby.
In the months since then, I’ve reflected not only on my birth, but on the fact that almost all of my contemporaries who have had babies in the past two years have had c-sections. I’m one of the few vaginal deliveries. And the others who have had vaginal deliveries (even with epidurals) put in a LOT of preparation, study, and hard work.
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When I asked my midwife what she thought about epidurals or no – she simply said that if I didn’t decide I would choose the epidural. I did not want my hand to be forced. So, I took a Bradley class, had a lovely, uncomplicated labor and popped out a baby naturally no problem. I was so blessed to be surrounded with women who had had natural births, I never once doubted my ability to do it. Three years later had a home birth that was longer and more complicated, but also beautiful and peaceful. I now teach Bradley, so women can make informed decisions, even when the outcome is not what they planned. At least they could end up knowing they had done everything they knew to do, and had worked hard for what they got.
Now my job is to convince women to go only with care practitioners they trust 100% – I am frustrated with the number of women who don’t change because of loyalty or fear.
Meg´s last blog ..In Honor of LOST- Birth and Nursing on the Island
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Great article! I had a natural births with both of my babies. I had my 8 pound 10 ounce son naturally in the hospital and my 8 pound 8 ounce daughter was born at home in a birthing tub. While I didn’t actually attend any classes, I did read a very highly recommended Bradley Method book and used most, maybe even all, of the suggestions in the book. They were extremely helpful.
I also had a Doula for my son’s birth and two midwives at my daughter’s homebirth. Education is key when it comes to childbirth. It’s vitally important for us women to know what is happening with our bodies and with the baby as we progress through labor, know what to basically expect at each stage, and how to handle any discomfort.
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RIGHT ON THE MONEY!
I hear “I’m gonna try ______” (fill in the blank: laboring naturally; no epidural; breastfeeding; a babymoon; sleep when the baby sleeps; etc…)
“Great!” I say, and then ask, “What books have you read?” and “What classes did you take?” and I hear nothing worthy or supportive in return, my heart breaks for them and their impending birth.
Truly. No REAL class, no self-research, no knowledgeable support person(s) for the labor and birth of this child is the roadmap to the removal of all choices and freedoms. Few succeed to overcome the Big Blue Wall (OBs & Nurses)
(GREAT post! May I include a link to it in “Fully Dilated” – a birth blog carnival? Thx!)
lynda´s last blog ..An Extra Stitch
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I can’t agree with you more that a long series of classes …in my mind actually starting early in pregnancy,…are needed to develop the knowledge and confidence you need to give birth in a hospital…or,at home or in a birthing center. There is so much to learn, and so many myths to let go of. It is really a total mind shift that has to happen. To let go of fear, and embrace confidence in your own ability to give birth, and trust that nature really does have this under control. Our bodies know how to do this…just like they know how to digest food, and breathe and all the other things they do without our thinking about it.
Anyway, Lamaze classes help women know that their bodies know how to do this incredible thing…giving birth. And, they help women understand that a few simple things help …letting labor start on its own (the only way we really know mom and baby are ready to give birth), labor support, freedom of movement, giving birth off the back and folowing the body’s natural urges to push, and keeping mother and baby together. And Lamaze classes also help women understand how routine interventions, like
EFM and IVs and restrictions on movement and eating and drinking, make it much more difficult to give birth easily and simply.
It’s important to prepare for birth. Especially important to prepare doubly hard if you are giving birth in a hospital. Classes can be a big help. But choose your classes carefully. Make sure that the classes you attend are small and that the educator trusts birth and has confidenc in your ability to give birth.
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I LOVE what you wrote! My husband and I took the Bradley classes and gave birth to a healthy baby boy in February! 100% natural and I loved the whole process and can’t wait to do it again! We also had a doula and a midwife (I switched from an OB to midwife half way though and was SO happy I did) and those two along with my husband and I, we made a fabulous team!
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So true! My book featuring VBAC birth stories has SO much truth in it on this subject. You really CAN have the birth you want, mostly. Women are NOT required to lay down and “take” whatever crapola is thrown at them.
Thanks for an awesome post. I’ll be following your blog!
Kelly´s last blog ..VOICES
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I had a c-section that WAS necessary- I had a previa that had already bled massivley (my crit level was 26) and one of my twins was transverse. A baby does not come out sideways and through the placenta. I have seen people state that c-sections cause difficulty with breastfeeding, but I did not find that so in my case. One of my children was nursing while I was in post-op. He is our biggest, and we lovingly call him Chunk.
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The reason people say breastfeeding can be difficult, is b/c milk doesn’t always come in right away, holding the infant in a cradle hold (traditional) puts pressure on your incision, and if you were on pitocin prior to the c-section, that can weaken a baby’s suck. Not every mother/baby will experience these problems, but they are common.
I am glad medicine has advanced us to the point that a doctor knew exactly what was happening to your babies & was able to bring them into this world with a good outcome. I don’t think anyone here doubts there are times when a c-section is the smart thing to do. I think the point FB was making was that for preparedness is key. But obviously, some scenarios will throw preparedness right out the window!
Maegan´s last blog ..A Day to Remember…
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Here is my c-section birth story, for what it’s worth… even if no one reads it, it will make me feel better to write it here, the first time I’m “documenting” it:
My first pregnancy ended in c-section after I was (of course) induced because of high blood pressure (not preeclempsia or anything, just kind of high), and I was convinced this posed a serious risk to me and the baby. First, they broke my water, which started the clock ticking – they weren’t willing to let me labor longer than 24 hours after the water broke because of infection risk. I started with a bag of pitocen at 8:00 in the morning…. nothing happened except very mild contractions which stopped after a few hours…. they said they would “mix a fresh bag” because sometimes bags from the pharmacy weren’t “fresh” (?!?!?!?!?), so bag #2 started around noon or 1:00. AND…. nothing happened again.
(TICK-TOCK-TICK-TOCK-TICK-TOCK)
SOOOOOO… around 4:00, they inserted something into my hoo-haa that they said would soften the cervix and almost certainly jump start the process (it was beginning to occur to me that maybe, possibly, my body wasn’t ready to do this yet…). Guess what? NOTHING.
(TICK. TOCK.)
Finally, at around 8:00 pm, I was told that a third bag of pitocen would DEFINITELY do the trick this time, the nurse told me in reassuring tones that she had never seen the third bag fail after the vaginal insert thing.
****It only occurred to me later how horrifying this statement was. It meant they see this scenario on a somewhat regular basis, yet keep inducing women, apparently prematurely.*****
Finally, about an hour later, I got my wish, and real contractions started. Only… I literally went from NOTHING to SLAMMING, PIERCING contractions in a couple minutes, leaving me (and my husband) gasping and terrified. This was in addition to being hungry (no food all day, of course) and exhausted, since I hadn’t slept the night before (too excited).
I couldn’t bear it, and within a couple hours was begging like a child for an epidural through my tears. As it was going in, I was sobbing and apologizing to my husband about how sorry I was that I “failed.” (To his credit, he was appalled that I would ever think I had to apologize for such a thing, he thought I was the bravest strongest woman in the world.) Adding to my humiliation was the fact that as the doctor was inserting the needle, I was seized by a contraction, making me flinch and cry out, and he threw up his hands, insisting he “hadn’t even touched me yet.” (So what was my problem?) Even in that state, I wondered if this moron understood WHY he was giving me an epidural in the first place *&(^&^%… ahem. Anyway.
The epidural brought quick relief, and also quickly stalled my labor. I hadn’t made it past 4 or 5 centimeters yet (and I never would). But we finally were able to get some much needed sleep. It was a little before 2:00 am (ticktock) that the doctor came in, woke me up, and told me that I should probably prepare for the possibility of a section in the morning if things didn’t pick back up, since there were some signs the baby might be in distress.
I could barely respond, I was so tired, and it was a shock when about 15 minutes later, she came in, took a look at the monitor, and announced we had to get the baby out NOW – I felt myself go cold and heard my husband arguing with someone, but that person left to go prep. I must have agreed to the section at some point, I don’t remember… I heard my husband throwing something across the room and swearing, and I knew both of us were thinking the same thing: “This is just what ‘The Business of Being Born’ predicted.” EXACTLY.
I was in a daze, they had increased my epidural to make sure I was good and numb, and I was beginning to feel nauseous. After they wheeled me into the OR, while I was waiting for my husband to appear (scrubbing up), I ended up throwing up over and over into a little curved pink tub someone put up to my face, all I could do was turn my head and puke. I was shaking and cold and confused and scared. I think my arms were strapped down or something. I was crying. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so helpless in my life.
***Pausing here to remember how, according to Mominatrix, I am a Lucky C-section Bitch, since my husband will continue to like the look/feel of my girl parts, and after all that’s The Most Important Thing.****
But when they lifted our daughter out, at least my helpless tears turned to tears of joy. Someone put her little bundled figure up to my face to see her, then I didn’t see her for at least 45 minutes. I guess she went to the nursery for observation and cleaning or whatever – my husband left with her of course so I was left alone and quiet, still cold and shaking, as they stitched me up. Then I had time in the recovery room all alone, wondering where she was. I wanted to nurse her and hold her so badly, but when they finally brought her in, she was too asleep to nurse. I guess from the drugs that had been in my system.
Later, when the epidural began to wear off, a searing burn spread across the incision line that made the contractions seem like a glorious memory, and I couldn’t move, I just started crying out to my husband to please PLEASE help me, get someone, do anything, because I was going to burn open. They gave me a shot. Finally I slept. I’ll sum up the next few days here: the recovery sucked, and I had to ring the nurse EVERY time for my dose of Strong Painkillers that were supposed to come every three hours, and I felt like a huge junkie.
Believe it or not, I’m going back to the same doctors in the same hospital, but this time I am coming armed with a doula and am determined to have a VBAC. But I only hired the doula and decided to VBAC about 5 weeks ago (I’m 39+ weeks now), and for most of the pregnancy I thought I’d probably just repeat the c-section, so why bother with any special childbirth prep? I figured it would be a waste of money, since even if I attempted a VBAC I’d most likely end up with a section. These last weeks I have been doing a lot of reading about VBACs that made me change my mind and I’m more educated this time around… don’t know if I’ve done enough prep to make it to my goal, but I feel with my doula by my side, at least I’ll have more courage and coping methods before I possibly cave in to the epidural.
I’m terrified of “failing” again at birth, which is one of the reasons I almost didn’t even bother trying to VBAC. But I have to try, otherwise I’ll never know, maybe I’m great at birthing if given a chance to do it the right way – at my own pace, when my body is truly ready. I’ll let you know…. it should be any minute now!
Thanks to TFB for posting her VBAC story. I especially identified with her feeling like she “failed” when resorting to the epidural. Even though I would never, ever judge a friend who told me she had needed one, for some reason when it’s me, I just “know” I was weak…. and so I deserved the end I got. =(
We’re working on the Catholic guilt thing. =)
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Your c-section story sounds exactly like my c-section story, except I didn’t see BoBB until two years later, and THAT is when DH and I looked at each other and said “THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!”
I also felt the same way you did about VBAC all the way up until the end of my second pregnancy. I hired my doula at 37 weeks pregnant and at that point became convinced that not only COULD I do it, but I HAD to do it. I HAD to. I couldn’t stand another cesarean.
There is nothing at all wrong with your body, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Tell your doula to channel all the energy and wisdom of the gods and help you get through your labor like a champ. No matter what happens, you’ve done your best.
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Hee, a couple interesting little tidbits to add after today’s non-stress test (I’ve been getting them 2X a week for the last month, since again, my blood pressure has been a little elevated):
My husband and I get there, the nurse asks if I’ve “been scheduled” yet – for the repeat c-section she apparently assumed I was having. I said “Noooo…” and she looked a little confused and asked “What are you doing, then?”
Wondering why I had to explain the only, obvious alternative, I replied “Well, I’m waiting to go into labor and I’ll try to VBAC!” in a chipper voice. There was a pause (a little too long) and then she made a noise that could only be translated as “Well, okay, if you think that will work… just hope I’m not on duty! One day you ladies will learn…”
Then she asked why I was sectioned the first time – I started with “I was induced – ” and she nodded and said “Oh, okay, uh-huh” – as though that was the only explanation needed, since inducement so often = c-section! Oh, she also asked how long “they” were going to let me “go” (before I suppose bringing me to my senses and making me schedule a section) and I said no one had broached the subject yet. So there.
I didn’t feel very encouraged after that, but on the way home, my husband cracked me up with a few choice words describing the nurse (including “crusty” and “old”) and insisted that the staff on duty when I went into labor WOULD support us, happily or not!
Thanks for your response, Gina, it’s good to know there are people out there rooting for me, who believe in my goal as much as I do! =)
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I did not take a birthing class, and I wonder whether it would have helped or not. Here’s what happened (sorry, this is really long):
I spent most of my pregnancy in the care of (what I thought was) a natural childbirth-friendly OB practice. They were fine with my birth plan, which included no episiotomy, ability to move about, a heplock so I wasn’t tied to the IV pole, etc. They were all fine with that – they encouraged me to bring the plan in so that it could go in my chart. At 40 weeks and 5 days, they scheduled me for a non-stress test. I went in, not knowing that it was an electronic fetal monitor until I saw the machine and the belts. I was having occasional pre-labor contractions but was not effaced or dilated more than a fingertip. They read the chart, and after one pre-labor contraction, decided that the baby was having a late deceleration and wanted to induce. Oh yeah, and guess what time it was? 11:30am on Friday – and the doctor’s office closed at noon. We went back and forth for a bit until I asked if there were some way we could do anything else, and they suggested we go to the hospital to be monitored for 2 hours. We went home, had lunch, and then went to the hospital, meanwhile calling our doula. She met us as the hospital, and they got us set up in triage for the test. (Aside: boy, do they make you feel like an invalid! They tell you to strip down and put on a gown, but a hospital bracelet on you, strap all this stuff to you so you feel sick even though you aren’t!) Anyway, I had 3 more contractions, two of which the doctor said were showing late decelerations. I saw the print out and these drops were like tiny little blips. 5 bpm, maybe. Our doula asked him if he had any tolerance, to which he replied, “No, none at all.” All the while, his little heartbeat was varying just nicely, and it seemed to me that it was just a coincidence that it happened to go down at the end of a contraction. This doctor agreed with the doctor at the office that I should be induced. I had read Ina May’s books, seen the BoBB, and done some other reading, and my doula showed me a chart that told me that I would have a 50/50 chance of a c-section for a failed induction. So we go back and forth about it, the doctor throwing out guilt trip cards right and left, me asking about risks, etc. The chart, meanwhile, is showing that my baby’s blood pressure is going up and up (tachycardia, anyone? And why was the doctor not concerned about THAT?) because I am getting more and more stressed. Finally, I came to the wrenching decision to sign the AMA form and go home.
Our doula came home with us and reassured us that we had made the right decision and let us borrow a fetascope so that we could make sure that the baby was okay overnight. We had a TERRIBLE night, wracked with guilt – had we done the right thing? Was the doctor going to be right after all? The baby showed a healthy heart rate the whole night, though. The next day, Saturday, we made the decision to switch to a midwife and a homebirth if the midwife we knew could fit us in. I did NOT want to go back to see those OBs because they made me feel so terrible. The midwife saw us Monday and said everything was just fine. Meanwhile, my husband dealt with the OB office – they ended up firing us, and after we refused to see them again, it was all about possible litigation for them, nothing about the health of me and our baby.
On the following Thursday night, I start feeling more real contractions. They are about 15 minutes apart, and I take a warm bath and try to sleep. Friday during the day, they are still spaced apart. My midwife said to take another warm bath that night. I did so and went to bed to try to get some rest. The bath did not make the contractions go away, and at about 11pm we call her to come over because they are 6 minutes apart. I labor all night. The only technique I used was to “ohm” (like you do in yoga class) through the contractions and starting into someone’s eyes. I labored Saturday, some in a birthing pool, some out. I tried castor oil, blue cohosh, some homeopathics, and they broke my bag of waters. Meanwhile, I’m throwing up anytime I try to eat. I sip water when I can, but I can’t keep anything down. I am also having the most excruciating back pain – just lower back pain (which they told me wasn’t back labor because it wasn’t the entire back). At first it was just during contractions, then it was continuous. Nothing alleviated it. I labored all Saturday night, and by Sunday morning, I had absolutely nothing left. I was only at 7cm, so I made the decision to go to the hospital to get an epidural so that I could relax enough to dilate the rest of the way.
7:30am we left the house, and we arrived at the hospital at 8am. They process through the emergency room, I get a staff doctor (who, by the way, was WONDERFUL and even said he saw a few late decelerations but there was no pattern and so he wasn’t worried), and at 10am I get the epidural. I take a nap for a few hours, and when I wake up, I’m at 9 1/2 cm, almost ready to push. I pushed timing with contractions for a few hours and at 3:41pm my baby boy was born. There was nothing wrong with him at all – he scored an 8 on the APGAR and a 9 a few minutes later. As soon as I pushed him out, they put him on my chest and he lifted up his head and looked at me. I even had an hour with him to breastfeed.
So I got a vaginal birth, for which I am so happy, but I had to go to the hospital and get an epidural. Would a birthing class have helped to prevent that? I don’t know, because I’m not sure why I was so very slow to progress. My mother was slow to progress herself (are these things genetic?), and ended up with a c-section for that very reason with my older brother, and since they didn’t do VBACs back then, I was a scheduled c-section. I was determined not to let that happen to me, and I am very, very glad that it didn’t, but I still have mixed feelings about the epidural. For that matter, I have mixed feelings about the homebirth since I was in such excruciating pain all the while I was at home.
Anyway, thanks for doing what you do! I just discovered your blog recently and have really enjoyed reading your posts, old and new.
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I commend you for checking out AMA and doing what your body told you was right. It sounds to me like you made all the best decisions, including heading in for the epidural when you did. From the sound of it, laboring at home for those couple of days is what kept you from getting a cesarean. No hospital (that I’ve ever heard of) will let a woman labor for that long without pushing every intervention in the world on her. Your body may have just needed every minute of those few days to dilate, and though you ultimately you needed an intervention, at least you weren’t subjected to them the entire time. There IS a time and a place for the epidural, and your story sounds like one of those times.
Just so you know, your doctor firing you (anytime within 30 before your due date) constitutes patient abandonment, and you can file a complaint with the state medical board that could really get him/her in hot water. I helped a mother through that same exact thing last year.
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Thanks for helping me get some perspective on this. I’m still struggling to resolve it in my head – especially if we decide to have another one. I know I definitely do not want a 40+ hour labor again!
I thought about the patient abandonment thing after we got the letter – our doula told us about it. But the letter was worded in such a way that I am not sure that they would have been held responsible. They said that care “reverted” back to my previous provider (I had originally started my pregnancy in an intervention-happy OB practice – curiously, an all-woman practice). I’m not sure if that’s legal, but as I was not about to step one foot back in that practice, I didn’t pursue it since I wasn’t sure if the law applied if the patient refused to be seen by the provider.
Both my husband and I really wanted to “stick it to them” after our baby was born – like, “SEE! He was perfectly fine and you were WRONG!” But I suppose that would not have been the most mature way to go about it.
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Evelyn, yes! Taking Bradley classes (good ones, from an experienced and well-recommended teacher–THIS IS KEY!) CAN make all the difference in a birth. I am a testimony to this truth.
I labor prodromally as a rule (which means that either labor starts and stops a lot before turning into birth, or it starts and progresses very slowly before turning into birth). I just gave birth to my fourth child yesterday.
In all 4 births, I have yet to labor “normally.” My first birth was a couple days long, and the only thing that saved my natural birth was staying out of the hospital for all but the last 4-5 hours and having learned and practiced total relaxation and other pain-avoiding/reducing skills through Bradley classes that we took in preparation for that birth. It was not the perfect experience, yet my husband and I were so glad we’d taken those classes (we believe they spared us major surgery) we decided to take them again for our second child, born only 17 months later.
Relaxation is a learned skill that can make the difference between an excruciating labor and birth and a tollerable or even ecstatic one. It is the key to the success of the Bradley Method.
I am now a Bradley instructor myself, and am so grateful for all that this method did to spare me and my family much unnecessary trauma. I have 3 of my birth stories posted on my birth blog, if you’re interested: nmfrogblog.blogspot.com
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Wow! this post is awesome! Puts into words everything I want to tell my girlfriends about birth in such an organized and well written manner (as usual TFB)! The best thing that happened to me “by chance” was bumping into a woman at my pool who had taken bradly classes and told me how to find a class locally. I signed up, took charge of my birth experience, and had an amazing (4 day) natural home birth with my midwife (9lb, 6oz baby boy!). It wasn’t until days later when it dawned on me that I would have definitely been a “failure to progress” case in the hospital and I wondered what would have happened from there. I firmly believe in extensive childbirth classes, I know first hand they made all the difference in my birth experience.
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what I really dislike is that EVERYONE assumes that ever c-section is an “emergency”. It cheapens the impact for those of us who had truly emergency, lifesaving surgery for our children. At 34w5d, without a c-section, my child would have died.
Having been diagnosed with pre-eclampic, and already spent most of a month in the hospital on bed rest, i was released a day before Thanksgiving in 1998 as i had become more “stable”, as long as i went in ever over day for u/s and Non-stress tests to check the baby. The first testing went well, but in 3 days times from leaving the first test, I lost 80% of my amniotic fluid and my daughter, unable to swim herself free, was strangling herself with the cord. I watched as my daughter’s 160 heart rate would plummet to 60 beats per minute. I’m more thankful for the extra 3 weeks I had in hospital before her birth, as my original OB said I wouldn’t last the rest of that first week. I was lucky… even at only 3# 11 oz, and my daughter came out perfect and has never had issue due to her prematurity.
Now, don’t get me started with the tactics the hospital/OB office used, that i never was able to attempt a vbac, the hospital is one of the WORST in the area, and the only childbirth class known in the area is the hospital’s own 5 week course (about a 10 hour class i believe), and it wasn’t until i was done having children that i even learned what the Bradley Method was. Do i feel cheated by the system for my 2nd birth and beyond… yes. But, I will never regret that first c-section that did indeed save my daughter’s life.
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TFB, I FREAKIN’ LOVE YOU!!!!!
Sharing this link!
You. are. awesome. Thank you!
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I just came over from Facebook. I really love this post.
I am filled with metaphorical heartburn over this subject. I’m a labor & delivery nurse. I have been fascinated with childbirth since I was a teenager. I really and truly want my patients to have the birth they want. I feel like a failure when the ones that originally wanted to go natural get an epidural (not that I try to make them feel guilty or anything!). And I try everything I can to get them to not feel restricted by hospital policy. I’ll do saline locks instead of IVs, intermittent monitoring or telemetry monitors (no wires), walking in the halls, showers, hot packs, whatever it takes. I will not use the world ‘pain’ or ‘contraction” if that’s what they want. I will call it whatever they want me too, or not even bring it up if that’s what they want. I will skip lunch and not go to the bathroom if I have to (and we get busy so yeah, I’ve had to a number of times) in order to make sure they have support. But so often, like almost always, it doesn’t work out.
I realize that most of them also never take a class on childbirth or natural methods of dealing with it because I ask them. I try to cram everything I know into their delivery experience but it’s kind of too late at that point. It’s almost gotten to the point where if they say they want to “try” for a natural childbirth then I already know they won’t make it, no matter what I do. It’s the determined ones that make it.
I still don’t see a lot of doulas being used. That could be because a lot of doctors are discouraging it cause they hate them. I don’t think in seven years I’ve had a single patient take a Bradley class, or any other kind of class outside of what the hospital offers (and even then, many don’t take the hospital class either). It really sucks! So I do crash course childbirth on admission.
I think I’ve read everything in print on natural childbirth, going back to Grantly Dick-Read. Henci Goer and Ina May Gaskin are like my personal heroes. I love that Ricki Lake is out there spreading the word, since she is more visible. My plan is to be a nurse-midwife and incorporate as much of this as I can because I will be with the ladies for thire entire pregnancies, not just the end. This will give me more chances to help them prepare.
And now I’m finally pregnant with my first. I am overseas and so I’m doing the Hypnobabies homestudy course. It’s pretty awesome – it totally builds up your confidence that you can do it. And it has a lot of educational materials on avoiding unnecessary intervention. I was freaking out a little at first cause I’m gonna birth where I work and I know exactly how the staff views natural childbirth. Let’s just say it’s not pretty. Luckily my husband is completely on board and I have the knowledge of what to expect and how to say no to unnecessary intervention.
Anyway, I just can’t agree with you more on preparing for natural childbirth. I wish people would take it more seriously and not just believe everything they are told by the doctor. That line about how your birth was scripted by the hospital is just so true. I hate thinking that women will one day look back at their birth and have such utter disappointment over it all.
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I really, truly love this reply. It’s SO awesome to hear that an L&D nurse feels this way because we all know so many L&D nurses who feel exactly the opposite. Thanks for being you!
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Hello,
I enjoyed reading your latest blog, but my problem seems not to lie in preparation but in litigation. My husband is a student and I am unemployed, so I go to a community health clinic and am on New York State PCAP, medicaid for pregnant women. The doctor told me that even though I am a great candidate for VBAC, the hospital where the doctors at this clinic deliver babies does not allow vbacs to be performed. Can a hospital’s litigation actually do that? I think it is unfair, and was wondering if you have any info about this.
Thanks,
Melanie
Tuckahoe, NY
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Read “Born in the USA” by Dr. Marsden Wagner if you are interested in more about how litigation has shaped our birth policies in this country. Thankfully, the precedent has been set that no one can force a woman to have surgery against her will. As a last resort, you can simply wait for labor to start on its own, wait as long as you can at home, and show up at the ER where they will deliver your baby. They won’t like it, but they’ll have to take care of you. If you have any options that aren’t QUITE so extreme, you’ll have to discuss that with your doctor; even when hospital policy dictates something, everyone has the option [ALWAYS] to refuse surgery.
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Totally agree. I *know* I would have ended up with a c-section had I not done *extensive* research and reading up on childbirth during my first and second trimesters. My first baby was 3 weeks past his due date, and I was in labor for 43 hours, pushing for the last 4 hours. Had I gone the “typical” route, not only would I have been induced 2 weeks before he was “really” due to come out… but it is practically unheard of to let a woman labor for almost 2 days in a hospital setting, much less push for so many hours on top of that.
As it was I *had* an OB-GYN up until 6 months along. I switched to a midwife/home birth plan as I learned and realized what I was setting myself up for by going the hospital route…and that made ALL the difference. Turns out I ended up delivering in the hospital anyway, due to the labor taking so long and other complications, but I was well aware of *why* I was at the hospital, and what I was there for. But even still, I had to fight off all the drugs and interventions they were pushing on me.
I am certain that if I hadn’t done all that research and reading, I would have been one of the unnecessary c-section statistics. My births are my proudest moments of my life – I am proud of myself for doing all the “pre-work” and I’m proud of myself for trusting myself and my own judgments about the birth process (and not just relinquishing all control and decisions to “the all knowing doctor.”) My second birth was even more amazing for it only took 3 hours, I was extremely peaceful during it (tho yea, it was painful), and I even delicately delivered my son myself about 5 minutes before the midwife arrived. My sister had the pleasure of catching her new nephew as he emerged. It was amazing. I wish every woman could have this kind of birth experience… it is truly life changing.
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Wow this is absolutely crazy because my doctor told me my daughter was HUGE and i had to be induced. then i was in labor for 12 hours and we went to the “emergency” C-Section. I had my daughter 10 minutes later and she weighed 5 LBS! and he said she was huge. I can’t believe that. this makes so much sense now. I wish now that i had been more educated. Thank you so much for posting this.
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by the way, when considering how to influence the chances of conceiving a boy or a girl, I found this interesting site: BabyGenderChooser.com
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