Each month, the Metra Rail (which is our Chicagoland commuter train) publishes a newsletter called “On the Bi-Level.” Each newsletter contains travel notes, service information, and a special section called “Sounding Off” where commuters write in to compliment or complain about the service they receive, or their fellow travelers.
In December’s issue, a very pregnant woman named Kate wrote in to “On the Bi-Level” to complain that her fellow Metra passengers weren’t offering her their seat, even though they could clearly see she was pregnant. If you’ve ever been a pregnant woman on public transportation, you’ll probably understand where Kate is coming from. I cannot think of anything more uncomfortable, and potentially dangerous, than standing on a moving vehicle that’s flying down the tracks at 50 miles an hour while trying to hold something that feels like a bowling ball in your bladder, as your 25 lb uterus pulls at your back while simultaneously pushing down on your swollen ankles. To put it lightly, it sucks. There are really only 3 things a woman needs when she’s pregnant; food, gallons of water, and a place to sit.
But instead of understanding Kate’s frustration, her fellow passengers took the time to write in for the January newsletter to tell Kate to go fuck her whiny, pregnant self.
In response titled “No Sympathy Here,” Liz writes:
A big BOO HOO to Princess Kate, the pregnant passenger who was very upset that no one offered their seat. My my, since when was pregnancy such an enormous disability issue?
You seemed to be able to muster the strength to walk two full car lengths to take note of the seating situation; and you sound a little irate that nobody literally jumped up to rescue you by offering their seat. Sorry, toots, this was a situation you chose to be in… there are people out there who can’t have kids, such as me, and I’m NOT going to give you my seat. Tough out the discomfort for nine months. Some people will never experience it.
And Liz wasn’t the only one. Here Adrienne writes:
This is for Kate and all the other pregnant women who whine about not being offered seats on public transportation. They somehow feel they are more entitled to a seat than anybody else, and every seated passenger should feel guilty for not jumping up and falling all over each other giving up their seat. Yes, it would be courteous, but it’s certainly not mandatory. How are we supposed to know you are pregnant and don’t just have a large stomach? Perhaps you should either walk through the car with a sign, make an announcement when you enter a car or simply walk up to someone and tell them to get up. Also the handicapped seats are designated for “customers with disabilities.” As far as I know, being pregnant is NOT a disability or a handicap. It’s also very possible the seated passengers might have a disability that is not obvious.
If the roles were reversed and you saw a woman you thought was pregnant, how likely would you be to offer your seat?
Thankfully the Metra took this opportunity to put their $0.02 in and offered the following:
We got a few letters in response to Kate. All of them were from women. All of them were entirely unsympathetic to her plight. Be we don’t think Kate was wrong to expect a little courtesy. We should all expect it, and give it, too.
Knowing that women, and only women, wrote in to rag on Kate makes me really sad for the political state of my gender. Just sad.
Listen Liz and Adrienne, get off your ass and give Kate your seat, or you will have more bad karma than you can shake your nasty attitude at.
Do you have any stories like this to share? I’m sure they’re out there.
I have an observation.
I'm a man. I often take my 3 year old daughter on the train.
There are always seats available. However, because people like their space, they leave 1-seat gaps between them and their neighbours. The seats are 3-seat benches, so it means you have lots of empty middle seats.
I frequently have to ask people to move so that I can sit with my daughter. The response is usually quite grudging and not accommodating.
Out of perhaps 50 journeys, I have had two people move without prompting. I've had to ask perhaps 10 times.
The simple fact is that Western nations are now mostly populated by gormless idiots. These selfish, rude, unthinking people are the root of all social and economic problems, and it's getting worse.
Hopefully enough of the idiots will choose to be 'child-free', and enough of the decent people will choose to have children, that some balance will be restored.
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